How did you arrive at Half-Fast? Did you follow a link from another blog? Did I leave a comment on your blog and you traced it back to Half-Fast? Did you find me from a post on the Runners World forums? Did you Google something and Half-Fast was the answer? (Doesn't seem likely.) Fortunately, I have this wonderful tool called sitemeter so I probably already know the answer, not for you as a specific reader but I know where most of my traffic comes from. What follows is a list of some of the more unusual Google searches that brought people to Half-Fast. If you've been here for a while you'll probably understand why most of these searches landed people here, if not that's what the search feature (up top) and the archives (bottom right) are for. Get to it, you've got some catching up to do. NOTE: I've left these exactly as there were typed into Google, spelling mistakes and all. (My observations in parentheses.)- Fergie Nude (Pervert!)
- Fergie
- If you have any poo fling it now (This one has occurred at least a dozen times.)
- gazelle vs lion quote
- hammock joke
- Ali Landry Splits (Hopefully someone searching for Ali Landry's marathon splits, but could've been looking for a picture of her doing the splits, in which case: Pervert!)
- Ice Cream Waffle Sandwich (Mmmmm, I need another one of those.)
- What is Jessica Biel's workout
- machismo pics (I don't even want to guess what this person was searching for.)
- kissing too fast excuses (Interestingly enough, Half-Fast was the #1 search result at the time.)
- nude runner (Pervert!)
- Fergie barefoot (Pervert!)
- loch ness marathon route map elevation
- blow me im asthmatic
- men like to be lazy (Shut up!)
- naked running (Pervert!)
- barefoot to neck (Pervert!)
- nudist running (Pervert!)
- rhyming fast (Pervert! Wait... No... Sorry, I got carried away there.)
- race report peeing pants (Weirdo!)
- workout how my time runners (I can't even work out what you were searching for.)
- see me pee pee (Seriously? What are people searching for?)
- pee on me shirt (Disgusting!)
- Baconator nutrition (Wendy's will be pleased to know that my post shows up 4th among the results.)
- Jim valvano don't ever give up inspirational speech (It probably took you longer to type this into the search than it took to watch the video you were looking for.)
And the number one most bizarre Google search that landed someone here? Half Fast running blog. Bizarre because someone was actually looking for this blog, someone intentionally subjected themselves to reading the tripe that I write here on a daily basis. Inconceivable! The shocking conclusion that all this leads me to, is that the Internet is chock full of perverts. Inconceivable!
As I ready myself to post this, it occurs to me that I've just made it twice as likely that I'll get tagged on these searches again. So if you're one of the folks who came here looking for Jessica Biel naked (aren't we all) then I'm sorry to tell you that you're in the wrong place. We don't tolerate your type around here.