Friday, January 3, 2020

I’m Writing Again

I’m going to make this brief because I highly doubt that anyone still reads this blog or subscribes to the feed. However, on the off chance that someone is reading this I wanted to announce that I plan to start writing again. If you’re interested in following along you can find me now at

What am I writing about there? Anything and everything.
I recently had some major changes to my health, which is what I will initially be writing about. I want to be able to offer hope and comfort to others that are going through similar things and maybe share some of the treatments that I have tried too. I will be writing in the same “style” that you’re used to here at Half-Fast, which will be interesting because it’s a delicate subject and my “style” is brash and sarcastic.

Jump in! The water is warm.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

No, Not in the Ribs!

What is the worst possible injury for a runner? I maintain that it is bruised ribs because that’s the one that I’m currently dealing with and my present reality trumps your facts and evidence to the contrary.

Two weeks ago I took an elbow to the ribs playing indoor soccer and launched myself across the pitch tout de suite, writhing in pain for the ref to see because that’s the way you play soccer. Despite my theatrics no foul was awarded so I guess I’m not as good at soccer as I thought. Ever since that unjust incident it has been painful to run for any length of time. Each step feels like someone is poking me in the ribs from the inside, and taking a deep breath is completely out of the question. You can see how that would make running difficult, more so than it normally is. I’ve checked my symptoms on WebMD and it says that I probably have radiation poisoning so obviously it wasn’t just an elbow to the ribs, it was a NUCLEAR ELBOW to the ribs! That really should be an automatic red card, in my humble opinion.

The worst thing about all of this is that rib injuries seem to take forever to heal. This is the third time I’ve injured my ribs playing soccer and in both of the previous instances it took upwards of six weeks before I could run without pain. I guess that’s just the way it goes. I get older. I get injured. I heal slower and complain about it here.

Also, I recognize that this is the second post in a row wherein I’ve used a French term and I do feel bad about that but I also think it brings a little class and culture to the blog, a little je ne sais quoi if you will.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Plus ça Change

The days gave way to weeks, weeks drew out into months, the months became years but even the years were not as long as this analogy. It’s been a while since my last post. It will be two years on October 2nd and that post was pointing you to a new parenting blog collaboration that I abandoned faster than a carefully constructed race plan.

I don’t expect that anyone still checks this space for updates and I’m guessing that my RSS readership died with Google Reader. I’m OK with that. I’m not really expecting that anyone will read this, let alone comment. I’m actually not really sure why I’m writing this at all except that I felt drawn back to this space. I don’t know if this is a lone post out of the blue or if it is the beginning of me writing again, though I suspect it’s closer to the former than the latter. I’ve given up on this blog and returned to it more often than an addict that can’t escape the allure of the high and yet can’t quite achieve the discipline to quit.

Not much has changed since my last post; I’m still running, I’m still just as slow as you remember. I’m still happily married to Candis, and I still have two kids that have managed to grow up more than it feels like they should have in the past two years. I’m still on the good side of 40 but the countdown has switched to months, not years. I even still get offered free shoes every now and then.

Plus c'est la même chose.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

A New Blog

This is just a quick post to let everyone who’s still reading know that I’ve been invited to join a new parenting blog called Bottle Fed Parents. I’ll still be posting about running here on Half-Fast, in fact I’m currently working on a post about how horrible teenagers are which might seem like it would belong on a parenting blog but it’s not about my kids it’s about teenagers that I encountered while running so it’s running blog material.

I’ve also been roped in to a 5k by some coworkers so I’ll probably have an update about that sometime after the race is over. Office bragging rights are on the line.

That’s all for a later date though, the purpose of this post is to point you to Bottle Fed Parents where I’ll be joining Nitmos, Razz, and X-Country2 in cautionary tales of parenting.

Friday, September 14, 2012

In Training

Training for my November half marathon is going about as well as can be expected. I’m up to 10 miles now on my long runs now and I seem to be completing them a little faster than I had expected. The key here is to have really low expectations. Aim low and you’ll never be disappointed, that’s what I always say. There’s still 7 weeks to go which is plenty of time for me to build up my long run to 12 miles. I find that I race best at this distance if I can get in a few 12 mile training runs prior to the race. I smell a new PR in the works and you know what that means? It means at least one more post this year so that I can beat my chest and brag about being just a little bit more towards the front of the middle of the pack than I was before. (That sentence made sense in my head.) I’ve already had one new PR this year if I had 2 I’d be just about impossible to live with.

Since I’m not posting all that frequently here, I’ll leave you with a new running blog suggestion: Vomit Colored Shoes. He writes with the same sense of humor that I try for here and he pulls it off better than I do. No, no you’re right, nobody does it better than I do but he definitely does it more frequently. He’s still in that cute, post-every-day stage that new bloggers go through so head on over there and leave him some comments. It sounds like he’s a fairly new runner too so you should feel free to give him lots and lots of unsolicited advice, just be sure to mix in some really bad advice every once and a while to keep him on his toes.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Failing to Plan

I feel like I’ve been running long enough that I can go out and run several times a week without needing a specific training plan. In the past I’ve used any number of online training plans to lead me right up to my target race date and some of them have worked great and some of them have failed miserably. (It’s always the race plan that fails, never the runner). My point being that I don’t feel like I need some printout to tell me the type or distance of my run today. I can figure out on my own whether I should be doing intervals or a tempo run or cross training or how quickly I can increase my mileage etc.

I feel like I know myself well enough to determine the best training plan for my upcoming races. I feel like I know myself better than Hal Higdon or Yasso or any of these other running gods that put together training plans but I also feel like this is the kind of pride that goes before a fall so we shall see what becomes of me in November. All this to say that I’m winging it for my fall half marathon, it’s the Half-Fast way.

I’m Not Back
Viper asked on my last post if I was ‘back’ and then before I could respond (hint: I was never going to respond) Randy congratulated me on being ‘back.’ Let me just clarify that I’m not ‘back’ per se, I’m just enjoying writing again. I quit writing here because it became a chore. I felt that in order for this to be a successful blog I needed to post x number of times a week and that drained the joy from it like a freshly unclogged toilet. By saying that I’m not ‘back’ I can feel free to write when I want to and fill the blog up with crap at my leisure, always a more pleasurable activity.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Mmmmm Pancakes

As promised in my last post my training has started! Yes, I’ve been running a lot more lately but I’m not sure if I can actually count it as training because I haven’t been posting my runs on Facebook. Does it even count as running if you don’t tell Facebook about it? Right now I’m leaning towards the Heart Center of the Rockies Half Marathon in Loveland in early November. Pros: It’s only $50, cool heart shaped medal, free pancake breakfast, tech shirt included, it’s 11 weeks away, and FREE PANCAKE BREAKFAST! Nothing is more satisfying after a run than trying to consume all the calories that you just burned. Cons: apparently you have to run 13.1 miles or something.

Last night while I was out training for my pancake half marathon (my new preferred name for the event) a lot of geese were flying overhead. I couldn’t decide if I should look up at the geese so that when they pooped I’d see it coming and be able to dodge it, or if I should look down so as not to take a goose deuce to the face. I tried it both ways but none of them ever opened the bomb bay doors so maybe I’m over-thinking this. I’ll continue experimenting and keep you posted. I also had a close encounter with a coyote on my run but I was less concerned about that, especially when I saw the ACME brand rockets he was using. Meep, meep!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Training Starts Tomorrow...

... always tomorrow. As of late there’s been a severe lack of running going on around here. Between vacationing in St. Lucia, camping trips, entertaining guests from the UK, birthday parties, BBQs and a ton of other things it seems like I never have time to run. Of course it doesn’t help that when I have had time to run I’ve chosen to sit on the couch instead, I guess I can’t blame it all on scheduling problems.

Since brute force of will power seems to be failing me, I’ve decided that I need to sign up for a fall half marathon. Nothing motivates like that ‘oh crap I’m not ready for this’ feeling that you get from seeing a race looming on the calendar that you’ve already paid for. I actually wanted to run the Denver Rock ‘n’ Roll Half this year but it’s less than 6 weeks away and Oh crap, I’m not ready for that! It’s also $115 which lands somewhere between excessive and extortion, both topics that I know plenty about as a banker.

If you know of a good fall marathon (preferably late fall) then let me know in the comments because training starts tomorrow!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

We Have a Winner!

First of all, a HUGE thank you to all of you who supported this cause whether it was with a comment or a donation. I really didn’t expect the response that I received and it was wonderful to see.

Without further ado let’s get on to announcing the winner. Congratulations to Road Warrior of Philly to LA on Foot fame. Here’s what you need to do to claim your prize:

Send an e-mail to me ( with a shipping address. How easy is that?

For those of you wondering how the Relay went it was a huge success. Thanks to you, our family reached our fundraising goal and the total fundraising for the night was in excess of $90,000.
Suck it, cancer!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Tell Cancer to Shove it - Win Prizes!

Ok, not prizes but prize. A while back someone gave me the Sony MP3 player that you see pictured to the right to give away to a lucky reader. Since I’m a lazy pile I’ve been waiting for the opportune moment to give this away and now that I’ve already missed several opportune moments it’s time to step up to the plate.

So, if you leave a comment on this post in the next week (prior to Wed, August 8th) then you will be entered into the drawing. This means that your chances of winning are really, really good because let’s face it, you’re probably the only person still reading this blog! There have been no more than 10 comments on any of the posts I’ve written this year and half of those are probably just me trying to up my comment count.

If that’s not good enough for you and you want to further increase your chances of winning then there’s a way to do that too! Here’s how:

This Friday my family and I are participating in the Relay For Life Cancer Walk at a nearby high school with Candis’s aunt who is a cancer survivor. It’s something that we’ve done before because it has been close to both our families. Candis and I are fortunate to know quite a few cancer survivors but many, many more people don’t have survivor stories and that is something that we’d all like to see change. So, if you DONATE HERE then I will give you an additional entry for every $5 you donate to the cause.

In summation:
Comment telling cancer to suck it = 1 entry
Donation to Relay For Life = 1 entry per every $5