The Deer Whisperer

As you already know if you read my last post (and shame on you if you didn’t) I spent last weekend in Grand Lake, CO. Despite my humiliation and failure at the Granby Gut Buster 5K I was still calling myself a runner and was looking forward to a Sunday morning long run which would take place on some of the nearby mountain trails. One of the great things about running on the trails is that it makes me feel at one with nature. I prance around the woods like a young fawn, I drink from the streams and I blend into the scenery as though I am one of the woodland creatures.

I was roughly 6 miles into my long run when I rounded a bend and came across the following scene:

It’s tough to make them all out but there were 4 deer on the trail ahead, one of them was a young fawn (like me!). Evidently they had not heard or smelled me approaching, probably because I was at one with nature and also because I had just doused myself in urine (unintentionally) when I stopped for a pee break a mile back. Now, unlike some cowardly running bloggers, who are apparently afraid of deer, I did not turn and run away like a frightened little girl. Remember that when I am running, I am at one with nature and so I continued to approach the deer. All but one of them immediately fled but the remaining deer (who will likely end up as some hunter’s dinner) stuck around to check me out. I approached her slowly, speaking softly like the Deer Whisperer that I am. I whipped out my camera phone to take some pictures and the deer was so at ease with me that we dropped into the roles of photographer and model without hesitation.

“Yes! That’s it baby! Work it! Work it! Yes! Now show me coy.”

“Excellent, now turn around and give me a shot of that sexy haunch. Ooooh, you’re giving me chills, you sexy doe.”

After I had taken a few pictures it was time to get back to running and my new friend agreed to pace me for a little while.

We eventually parted ways, but not before she told me a funny story about the rube she once saw running on the trails that was terrified of deer. We laughed long and hard about that one before we said our goodbyes. Can you imagine that? Someone being afraid of a deer? That’s funny stuff.

Bonus Deep Thought by Jack Handey
“I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!”

Blog Action Day is October 15th

I first heard about Blog Action Day (hereinafter referred to as BAD because that's easier to type and sounds way cooler) through Kara's blog and then again through Pat's. BAD is an effort to get as many people as possible to write about a single topic on October 15th. The topic? The environment.

Now if there's one thing I hate to do it's commit to something. If there's two things I hate to do it's: 1) commit to something and 2) get all preachy and serious about an important topic like the environment. So as you can see this is really a lose-lose proposition for me. Also October 15th is the day after my half marathon which is when I was hoping to post a race report, so that really makes it a lose-lose-lose situation.

On the other hand I do like to have days when the topic of my post is already decided. If I were to take part in BAD I could encourage all my readers to do the same and then tell you all how to be more environmentally friendly as runners, and I really enjoy telling other people what to do. So I guess I'm semi committed to it. I'm not married to it, but we're not seeing other people either. Although, if it keeps leaving its stuff in my bathroom cabinet I'm going to start getting a little freaked out.

What kind of impact will BAD have? I don't really know. I suspect that after reading 4 or 5 blogs that all talk about the environment I will get sick of reading about it and head over to Runner's World forums.

Each participant in BAD is encouraged to write about the environment as it relates to the general topic of their blog and in there own particular style. For me that means I'd be discussing running and the environment, and as is my style I'll probably make fun of the environment, and give it a bit of a literary smack around - you know, in a playful, good natured, long-time-frat-brothers kind of way.

Finally, here's a Deep Thought by Jack Handey for you that pertains to the environment.

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

If there's anyone reading this from BAD then that's the kind of post you can expect from me on October 15th. You guys are lucky to have me on board. Well, semi-on-board to be more precise.

Unrelated note: I'm running my first 5K tonight with my wife, so I'll have a race report for you tomorrow, and if I can talk her into writing one perhaps one from my wife too.

Soccer > Running

Crunchy 'Nanas blogger and occasional Half-Fast commenter Nora recently had an article published on Complete Running about how soccer burns more fat and increases muscle mass more than running. This is of particular interest to me as I play soccer on a regular basis, and what better picture to use with this post than that of the most recognizable soccer player on the face of the planet.

For those of you who don't know who that is (hard to imagine) it's soccer star David Beckham and his wife Victoria (Posh Spice). Marcy has mentioned in the past that I need more pictures of cute guys on this blog and while I may disagree with her I suspect that my female readers would probably share her opinion. Hopefully this is something for everyone, and if Becks doesn't do it for you ladies, then I don't know who to post pictures of because come on... he almost does it for me.

Apparently a team of researchers at the University of Copenhagen conducted an experiment that featured 3 groups of men; a group that played soccer for 3 months, a group that ran, and a passive control group. As stated above, the group that played soccer burned more fat, and increased muscle mass more than either of the other groups. More details here. Incidentally if you ever have the opportunity to get paid to be in a scientific exercise experiment try to be part of the passive control group, because that's as close as you'll ever get to free money. Well, that and when the blind man next door asks me if I've got change for a $20, but there's less guilt involved in being part of the passive control group. Sorry, I'd love to walk with you and take the stairs but I'm under strict orders not to exercise, so I guess I'll wait for the elevator.

Speaking of less guilt, I've been counting my weekly soccer matches as "cross training" on my half marathon training schedule, but until this point I've felt like that was kind of cheating. I don't feel so guilty about that now. I guess sometimes it's just helpful to have someone else reaffirm things for you. Whenever I feel guilty about something I've learned that the first step to recovery is being able to forgive myself, and after that I tell myself "go ahead and do whatever you want, it's OK with me."

Oh, and by the way, DO NOT Google David Beckham without the safe search feature on. Or do, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Above picture found at With Leather, originally from the 'W' magazine photo shoot. Additional racier pictures from the shoot can be found here (although unfortunately there’s still no nudity).

Denver Marathon Capping the Field

The Denver Marathon recently announced that they will be capping the field of runners at 10,000. Personally I think they should be more careful about how they phrase these press releases because on the streets where I grew up, getting 'capped' is slang for getting shot. As in "yo, Slim narced to the po po and got his self capped fo' it." OK, well maybe not 'the streets where I grew up' but not far from there. Like less than 45 minutes away if traffic's good. Look, all I'm saying is that you have to be careful how you phrase things. It reminds me of the time that time I gave myself the nickname fly-head, because I have beautiful swept back features as though flying through the air. I'm afraid some people mistook it for meaning I had a head like that of a fly. I ended up having to get all new business cards made up.

The field was restricted this year (see, isn't restricted a much less confusing word) after registrations jumped up three fold from last year. I like to think that this occurred right around the time that I registered and word began to seep out that the suave, debonair blogger, Vanilla had signed up. At least that's the rumor I'm trying to cultivate. If you've only recently started reading Half-Fast then you might not have known that I was going to be running my first half marathon in Denver on October 14th, now with only 9,999 other people. Thus far in my running career (3 years) the only official race I've run is the Bolder Boulder 10K (three times) and it occurs to me that I have never even run a 5K and probably won't before October 14th. How many people can say that they have run a half marathon prior to ever running a 5K? Maybe that will be my thing. I'll be known as the runner who's never run a 5K, I could even have a jingle or something.

According to this article, the field is being restricted so that organizers can adequately meet the need's of all the runners, and I certainly appreciate it. I for one would hate to get to the water table and find them out of water and CLIF shots, or even worse get to the finish line and find them out of medals. You had better believe that I will be taking a medal home with me even if I have to steal it from some kid who finished ahead of me.

So if you want to run with me in Denver you'd better get signed up quickly because the word is out and the registrations are pouring in.