Training Starts Tomorrow...

... always tomorrow. As of late there’s been a severe lack of running going on around here. Between vacationing in St. Lucia, camping trips, entertaining guests from the UK, birthday parties, BBQs and a ton of other things it seems like I never have time to run. Of course it doesn’t help that when I have had time to run I’ve chosen to sit on the couch instead, I guess I can’t blame it all on scheduling problems.

Since brute force of will power seems to be failing me, I’ve decided that I need to sign up for a fall half marathon. Nothing motivates like that ‘oh crap I’m not ready for this’ feeling that you get from seeing a race looming on the calendar that you’ve already paid for. I actually wanted to run the Denver Rock ‘n’ Roll Half this year but it’s less than 6 weeks away and Oh crap, I’m not ready for that! It’s also $115 which lands somewhere between excessive and extortion, both topics that I know plenty about as a banker.

If you know of a good fall marathon (preferably late fall) then let me know in the comments because training starts tomorrow!

How Bad Do You Want It?

I can’t really explain why I like this video so much, but I thought it was worth sharing. It makes me want to go run hard, and that’s never a bad thing. I’m even considering downloading the mp3 to play on my iPod when I run.
 

 Hat tip: theCHIVE

Hey! What’s This? A New Post?

In case you haven’t noticed I haven’t been around lately. I haven’t posted, I haven’t commented on any of your blogs, heck, I haven’t even read any of your blogs. You see I have this thing called a day job and lately things have been pretty crazy. Good crazy not bad crazy. All the hard work and effort that I put into blaming other people for my mistakes and taking credit for their good ideas is finally paying off. So during the past week and a half I’ve had to do most of my blogging late at night after I get home from work and... well... you can see how well that’s worked out for me. I kept telling myself “good gracious Ian, you’ve got to write a post tonight after work. It’s been 3 days since your last post!” I’m so polite when I talk to myself, but then I never actually wrote any posts and when 3 days turned into 9 days I said to myself “listen you lazy sack of maggot-riddled-crap! You get busy writing a post tonight and get it posted or else you’re going to lose readers!” But apparently I don’t respond well to yelling and threats either because that just made me drink more during the evenings. To be honest with you guys I just didn’t feel like writing at all after work and I was wondering how I was ever going to write another post again because frankly I’ve been too busy with work to write a coherent post at the office.

Then just this morning, totally out of the blue, I pushed aside some pressing work issues and directed all my calls to voice mail. I opened up blogger and for no particular reason I just started typing. I typed to the end of the line and when I got there I thought maybe I’d type to the end of the paragraph. Now that I’m this far I figure I’ll just type a whole blog post. I’m like the Forrest Gump of typing. “You might not believe me if I told you, but I can type like the wind blows.” I’m back, baby! Just in time so that no one will have noticed my increased productivity around the office and won’t come to expect it of me.

You’re all probably wondering what happened to the lack of motivation that I talked about two weeks ago. Well, my plan worked. My laziness has been contagious and Candis has not been running or training much either. Welcome to the dark side. Anyway, with the Denver Half Marathon a mere two weeks away, we both needed to force ourselves to do a long run this past Saturday and I came up with an idea that I thought was brilliant (because it was my idea). Candis got up early on Saturday morning (brilliant!) made bacon for breakfast (brilliant!) then she got in the car and drove 12 miles away from home. She parked the car and ran home. Meanwhile I slept in (brilliant!) ate some bacon (brilliant!) and waited for her to return. When she arrived home, I ran 12 miles out to the car to pick it up. There was no quitting because the fastest way to be done was to get to the car. Next time we do this, I’m going to ask her not to tell me where the car is, instead she can just give me her Garmin (pbtn) and I’ll retrace her steps. It will be like geocaching. (Note: I have absolutely no clue what geocaching is, but using a Garmin to find your car sounds to me like something that would fit the definition of geocaching.) Besides you know how women are with cars and directions, it just makes more sense to put your faith in a Garmin (pbtn) than in any woman’s sense of direction, amiright?

Well, that’s probably enough for today, someone down the hall just had a great idea and I need to pass it off as my own to upper management. Time to get back to work. Ahhh, who am I kidding, I’ve got a boatload of blog posts to get to in my Google Reader and sarcastic comments to leave. I understand someone had an 18 minute marathon PR while I was gone. Of course, I’ll probably choose to focus on the fact that he still missed his goal by 4 minutes and change. FAIL much?

Failure in the Making

There’s been little running as of late and even littler caring. Shocking, right? I don’t know if it’s the product of a sub-par year of racing or if it’s just me being lazy. Probably the latter. With the Denver Half Marathon less than 4 weeks away now, I’m on a collision course with failure. The light at the end of the tunnel is actually a train and I can’t even muster up the fear to step off the tracks. Usually the closer I get to race day the more dedicated I become to my training but I can’t remember the last time I went out for a long run and I can’t even go look it up on my running log because lately I really haven’t bothered to write my runs down.

Unfortunately those crafty folks at the Denver Half Marathon suckered me in several months ago with the early bird discount otherwise I probably wouldn’t even consider running it. I’m thinking that my goal for the race should just be to try to avoid another PW at the half marathon distance this year but even that seems a little naïve. Even Candis’ taunts that she’s going to beat me haven’t scared me into training harder, in fact, the other day I told her that I don’t really give a crap how slow my time is and it’s completely true. 3 hours and 10 minutes, here I come!

It will make for an entertaining race report, as Candis likes to remind me: “It’s much funnier on the blog when you fail.” I’m sure when it comes time to write the race report I’ll be befuddled as to why I continue to get slower this year, but you can all point me back to this post and remind me that I haven’t been running nearly enough to expect good things at the Denver Half Marathon. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about getting slower (at least not in this post) I’m just putting it out there that I don’t feel like running much right now, and I’m OK with that.

Who you should be concerned for is Candis, because apparently laziness loves company just as much as misery does; I’ve been trying to talk her into skipping her training runs, and I know what her weaknesses are. While she’s trying to get ready to run in the evening, I’m pouring her a glass of wine. When she gets up to run on Saturday morning, I suggest breakfast at LePeep. I may be fixing to go down hard, but I’m taking as many people with me as I can. I’m like the Pied Piper of laziness. Speaking of which, why don’t you skip your training run today. You’ve earned a much needed break from running and I’m sure there’s something good on TV tonight. (Wipeout anyone?) In fact, you know what? Go ahead and take the rest of the week off. You probably deserve it, I know I do.

Looking Forward

Some of you are no doubt expecting me to respond to the slanderous lies that were carelessly strewn about Feet Meet Street yesterday but I’m not going to lend credence to them by dignifying them with an answer. I’m taking the high road which actually makes me more like Gandhi, plus look, I spelled his name correctly. Poor Nitmos forgot the first rule of mocking someone on the internet; make sure you don’t misspell anything, it makes you an easy target, and stupid. Almost nothing Nitmos said was actually true, except for the waterboarding pandas thing, I do so love to waterboard me some pandas. The other nice thing about pandas? No one is ever suspicious of the black eyes.

For now, I’m putting all that stupidity aside because I’ve got more pressing issues to deal with. In the wake of my horrendous Bolder Boulder experience, I’ve been pondering if it was just a bad day or if it was indicative of me getting slower. Naturally I like to think that I just had a bad day (cue Daniel Powter) but the only way to really find out for sure is to pose the question in the form of a race. Running another race is the only way to determine if I’m getting slower or if I was just having an off day. Initially, it was a question that I didn’t really want to ask but being a runner is all about putting yourself to the test. We do it every time we run which is every day for me, at least during the month of June. The next race on my calendar is the Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon and unless I get impatient and sign up for another race before then, I will have my answer on August 8th. Either that or I’ll be telling you all how it’s weird that I had two consecutive races that just happened to be bad days. In the meantime I’m ramping up the mileage and battening down the paces on my training runs because it’s also possible that I didn’t train appropriately for the Bolder Boulder. That will not be the case come August.

The other disturbing trend that has been consuming my thoughts is the fact that Candis is apparently at that stage of her running career where she is making exponential gains in speed while I continue to see diminishing returns at best. When she first started running we’d occasionally run together and I would have to run at a snail’s pace so that she could keep up. At the time I used to think to myself ‘wouldn’t it be cool if she got to be as fast as me so that we could do more training runs together.’ Surprisingly, I failed to see the unfathomable consequences of Candis being as fast as me; namely that she might actually beat me in a race someday. Now before you all get excited, I still beat her by 5 minutes in the Bolder Boulder and, as we’ve already established, I had a bad race. However, she’s certainly a lot closer to me than she was a year ago, when I soundly defeated her by more than 13 minutes. So now I’m thinking that maybe I don’t care as much about running together, I’d rather be faster than her and have to slow down when we run together. It’s more gentlemanly and less emasculating that way.

Inspiration in a Quote

I’ve never really taken part in Take It and Run Thursday (TIaRT), which is a weekly meeting of the running minds over at Runner’s Lounge every Thursday. Is it because I’m a maverick and I prefer to do my own thing? Is it because I don’t like being tied down to a specific topic? Is it because I’m highly under-qualified to give advice? No, mostly I think it comes down to laziness. Not my laziness mind you, Tom and Amy’s laziness. Tom and Amy never ever send me a personal e-mail to remind me that it’s Thursday and spell out the topic of the TIaRT. I guess that they figure it’s enough that they tell us what the topic is the previous week and then post about it on the Runner’s Lounge Wednesday and Thursday, but that just feels so impersonal. I mean, is it too much to ask that they pick up the phone and call me?

This week’s theme is Running Quotes and Sayings. When it comes to motivational quotes I’ve always loved Despair.com’s Motivation Poster which says “If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.” The funny thing is, there are some quotes that really do motivate me to get out the door and run. I guess I should make sure my resume is updated.

The first two quotes I’ll share with you are original Vanilla quotes. I wrote them myself, at least I think I did. It’s quite possible that I read them somewhere and then forgot about them, which by the way is the official line that I will be sticking with.

“Respect the distance, don’t fear it.” I scrawled this across the bottom of my marathon training plan in bold red ink. I had become so focused on respecting the distance that I had placed it on a pedestal. I was so fearful of becoming overconfident that I was completely losing all my confidence. I already had visions of how tough it would be at the end. I was already preparing myself for the final miles to be an exercise in futility. I don’t think it has to be like that. I don’t think it will be easy by any means but I see no reason with the right training, that I can’t finish this marathon strong. “Respect the distance, don’t fear it,” is my happy middle ground between being overly confident and expecting a dismal failure.

“I’m in ‘like’ with running, I’m in love with better results.” Coincidentally, I first wrote that phrase for my Open Mic Friday interview at Runner’s Lounge. The idea behind this quote is that I love getting better, I love getting faster, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I like running, I enjoy it, but what I love is getting better at it. There will probably come a time when I reach some kind of peak and I will no longer be able to get any faster or any better. I’m not sure what will happen when that day comes, but I’ll let you know when I get there.

Along the same line of thought, I have always loved the quote that Frayed Laces uses all the time: “There will be a day when you can no longer do this... Today is NOT that day.”

Finally, here are a couple that I’ve actually posted before, I’ve never been able to pin down exactly who said these so I’m not going to give any credit other than to say that these aren’t mine:

“Somewhere in the world someone is training when you are not. When you race him, he will win.”

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”

I think that’s enough quotivation out of me for one day, but be sure to check out what other bloggers are saying on this issue by heading over to Runner’s Lounge.

Evening Running Again

I slept in again this morning instead of running, which means that I’ll be running when I get home from work this evening, or maybe this afternoon because really, who wants to work a full 6 hour day anyway? Not me, that’s who. You might be thinking that I should have learned my lesson in yesterday’s post, but if you’re thinking that then it’s like you don’t even know me at all! Learning from your mistakes is for history teachers and people who are too weak to make the same mistakes twice. Me? I like to make the same mistake several times before I learn from it, that way it really sticks, kinda’ like taking the same class several times because you flunked it the first 3 times. Who do you think knows more about economics, me or the guy that only took it once?

I guess I’m kind of in a running funk right now and not the good kind of funk. If anyone has any ideas that might motivate me then be sure to send them my way, and send them repeatedly since I probably won’t catch on the first few times.

Daily DNC Report
The number of cops here in Denver has increased significantly, or maybe they’ve just been more visible in the past couple of days. They’ve been pretty congenial, even posing for pictures with kids and tourists on several occasions. You literally can’t walk 20 yards without passing a group of SWAT cops decked out in riot gear. It’s been difficult to maintain my regular practice of mouthing something like “you filthy pig” from under my disdainful glare to each and every one of them, but I’ve struggled through. What else am I going to do with all the righteous indignation that has welled up inside me based partially on my own experience but mostly on movies depicting cops as bad apples who enjoy abusing their power, and flexing their authority to compensate for their teeny, tiny... intellects. What? You thought I was going to say something else there? Also, when did The Rock become a SWAT cop?

Can you smell what the SWAT is cooking?
There are so many groups out there trying to get their message out that you really need to turn on your BS filter before heading out the door. Or if your BS filter is not very good (i.e. you’re gullible or a moron) then you can always get some glasses like these that will filter it out for you.

It’s kind of hard to see, but the girl with the BS glasses is also wearing a neon pink sticker at the bottom of her shirt, right next to where I annoyingly branded the picture. It says “Make Out, Not War.” Michael Phelps (far left, red shirt) is not impressed. I always thought it was “make love, not war” and frankly that’s much more poetic and makes me think of Michael Jackson’s duet with Paul McCartney where he tells him “Paul, I think I told you, I’m a lover not a fighter.”

When I first saw this ostrich (see below), I thought we were going to get a demonstration from the bird porn people, maybe something like this, but I guess not. Boy, I hope that link doesn’t get me into hot water with the bird porn people. If it matters I didn’t get aroused at all watching that video.

The Bolder Boulder Approaches

In 13 days my ever-supportive wife and I will be in Boulder, CO where 50,000 runners instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about the Bolder Boulder 10K. Despite the fact that it has always been the most important race of the year to me, I seem to be lacking in the motivation department lately. I have not eagerly bounced out the door to go on my runs, I have had to be coerced and convinced by my ever-supportive wife. Unless my motivation improves, I’ll probably end up taking a week or four off after the Bolder Boulder.

Speaking of my ever-supportive wife, I think that she has a post coming up sometime this week which is good because my lack of motivation is also seeping into my blog writing duties. In the meantime, prepare yourself for a long string of posts about the upcoming Bolder Boulder including one where I set a blatantly unattainable goal for myself. As for today, you can head on over to CRN and check out my article on Race Shirt Etiquette.

A Different Kind of Motivation

The following is a transcript of last night’s conversation between me and my ever supportive wife. Candis had just finished up her run, and I was trying to avoid mine. We have an unspoken agreement wherein you are allowed to say almost anything to your spouse to encourage them to go run. Here’s how that played out last night:

Me: I don’t feel like running tonight.
Candis: How come?
Me: I don’t know.
C: You really should go run though.
Me: [Dismissively] Yeah...
C: [Tilting her head a little to the side] Have you gained some weight?
Me: Ha ha, very funny. Actually, I think I’m down a couple pounds, so no I haven’t gained weight thankyouverymuch.

Moments later:
C: Hey I was looking at the running log you posted the other day and I think you may have copied it down wrong.
Me: Really? Why?
C: Well some of the times that you posted looked a little... you know... SLOW!
Me: I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work. I’m not a child. I can’t just be goaded into going running.
C: Alright, come here.
[She hugs me, I debate trying out a pick up line but before I get the chance...]
C: Are you sure you haven’t gained weight because you feel a little flabbier.
Me: I don’t think that’s a word. (According to Merriam-Webster it is. Great, just one more thing I’m wrong about.) And you smell a little sweaty.
C: That’s because I ran.
Me: Well maybe I don’t want to smell sweaty like you do.
C: Well maybe I didn’t want to be flabby like you are.

Yes, I went and ran. My wife for her part went and showered. Without me. :(

P.S. Today is your last chance to register an entry in the Great Bike Giveaway. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the announcement of the winner. It could be you! Odds are it won’t be, but it could be.

Friday Inspiration

I received an e-mail a few days ago from Kate who is trying to raise awareness for some volcano race (Mt. Cameroon Race for Hope), and she asked if I’d consider posting about it. Well let me tell you that I was flattered to be considered worthy of such a request, and then I noticed that 21st Century Mom had already posted about it. That means that Kate had e-mailed her about it too, and if she e-mailed 21st Century Mom then she probably e-mailed a lot of running bloggers (show of hands in the comments). I’m not going to lie to you. I was a little hurt. But me being the nice guy that I am, I decided to post about it anyway.

I watched the YouTube, read the article, visited the website and then realized that it was extremely inspirational stuff, the kind of stuff that really doesn’t belong at Half-Fast at all. Normally I like to whine about things, complain about shoes, or generally make fun of people and circumstances, but there will be none of that today. OK, I’m sure there will be some of that, but there will also be a little inspiration mixed in. First, check out the video.



Crazy stuff huh? 50 degree temperature swings, 10,000 foot vertical ascent and descent, loose volcanic rock, and the winners take home the equivalent of 4 years salary. Granted the average salary in Cameroon is probably like $37 but still, it makes your complaining about the conditions that you run in seem a little inconsequential, no? Anyway, you should go and check out the website at http://www.volcanicsprint.com/ and if you want to see the full movie, which is no doubt ten times more motivational than the trailer, then you can buy a copy of the DVD on the site. In fact you should buy a copy of the DVD, if you’re into that kind of motivational, inspirational stuff, which I’m not. I much prefer to sit down and watch a movie that doesn’t make me want to go achieve something great, that doesn’t make me want to get out and run 20 miles. But I imagine some of you might be into something like that.

Me, I prefer to watch your standard Hollywood movie that begins with our hero being the victim of some unnecessary gratuitous violence – it’s what made him the hero that he is today. Then he finds love in the arms of a beautiful woman only to have some romantic misunderstanding that neither of them bothers to even bring up with the other, until disaster strikes! Why, the same villain/evil circumstance that started the movie is now threatening to take away our hero’s true love. Will he be able to overcome the painful childhood memories and save his true love? Or will he run with his tail between his legs? You’ll never guess what happens, so I’ll just tell you. He overcomes! He overcomes! He conquers! And just when he turns to walk away his true love confesses her true love for him! The romantic misunderstanding is solved, and just when you think it couldn’t be any more perfect they cut to the wedding scene or the scene of our hero reading a book to the pregnant belly of his true love.

Or I could watch something original, something true... hmm... tough decision.

Holla at a Runner When You See Him in the Street

Whenever I’m in my car driving to and from work, or driving to and from the donut shop and I see a runner, I always get this tremendous urge to yell something encouraging to them. “Keep going!” “You can do it!” “Great job!” Fortunately for all you Denver based runners out there I usually manage to smother that urge. I realize that the runner won’t know that I’m also a runner, will think I’m mocking them, or won’t hear me over their iPod anyway.

I’ve had people shout things at me occasionally from their cars while I’ve been running, usually things like “go faster,” or “good job,” or “hey, that track’s not open to the public!” More often than not it happens when I run past the high school and it almost always annoys me more than it motivates me. Why then do I feel so compelled to yell at fellow runners when I see them? Perhaps it’s because when I see someone running, I wish that I could be out there running instead of whatever is taking up my time at that moment. Perhaps it’s because I feel a sense of kinship with the runner and want to encourage them to give it their best today, or perhaps I’m just an emotionally stunted jerk who enjoys making others miserable.

Most days when I’m on my way home from work I drive past a lady running up this really steep, long hill. It seems like she’s always out there running, and she always inspires me to get out and run if I haven’t already. A few weeks ago, I arrived home from work early (unless my boss reads this blog in which case it was definitely a Saturday) and I decided to go for a run. I was running down the aforementioned hill (because Momma didn’t raise no dummy) and I passed her coming up. I didn’t realize that it was her until we were already passing each other. We both smiled and nodded politely and I almost wished that I’d stopped her to tell her that she was an inspiration to me, that I always saw her out running this hill. Upon further reflection, I was glad that I didn’t have a chance to say anything. I probably would have fumbled for the right words and then ended up getting a face full of pepper spray when I said “I watch you run everyday and wanted you to know that you arouse me... wait, no... inspire, I meant inspire…”

I guess I’ll just stick to smiling and waving at fellow runners, but if the blond chick with the ponytail who always runs the big hill east of the golf course happens to be reading this, then just know that you arouse me.

Despite the title of this post, Half-Fast does not endorse shouting at runners from your car no matter what your intentions are. Also, please remember that when you see someone running from your car, you’re probably driving on the sidewalk.

I Think I Can...

I’ve never claimed that Half-Fast is motivational or inspirational or any other kind of -ational. This has been a tough week to get runs in for some reason which is why my mileage for the week is 0, and probably why my other two posts this week have been focused on drinking and quitting. Drinking and quitting sounds really good right about now.

I found this poem in one of my kid’s books that adequately sums up my mood. It’s from Shel Silverstein’s book Where The Sidewalk Ends and is titled The Little Blue Engine.

The little blue engine looked up at the hill.
His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.
He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,
And his face blushed red as he softly said,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

So he started up with a chug and a strain,
And he puffed and pulled with might and main.
And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time,
And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh,
With an extra hope and an extra try,
He would not stop - now he neared the top -
And strong and proud he cried out loud,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!”

He was almost there, when - CRASH! SMASH! BASH!
He slid down and mashed into engine hash
On the rocks below... which goes to show
If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just ain’t enough!

Go Run

I don’t know about you but I want to go out and run right now.

I don’t remember where I first saw that video but everyone that has recently posted it on their blog kept saying that they stole it from someone else, I tried following the links so that I could give credit to the original poster but it got boring quickly. So if you would like credit for that video just claim it in the comments and it will be just as if I gave you the credit myself. During my endless clicking through blogs I did however, discover something worth sharing with you.

I’ve always maintained that if you ever take the time to read an elite athlete’s blog you will be bored to tears. Every one I’ve ever tried to read has been dryer than a Chicago Marathon water stop. It appears that I’m going to have to modify my thinking on this issue though. Allow me to introduce Chuckie V and Tim Luchinske. Chuckie V is, according to his own words “... a has-been pro triathlete/cyclist and past Ironman winner.” Tim Luchinske’s blog tells us that he’s a “15 time Ironman, ex-professional triathlete.. [who is] switching to the marathon. In my 3rd attempt I placed 5th at the Denver marathon in 2:30.” Well I’m sorry to tell you Tim, but you didn’t finish in Denver until AFTER I had already finished. (Editor’s Note: I only ran the half marathon.)

Both of their blogs are quite funny and they give advice that is actually worth listening to, unlike my advice which usually consists of things like “be careful not to pee on your shoes” or “don’t jump onto a moving treadmill”. In one post on Tim Luchinske’s blog he talks about showing up at a 10K race, checking out the competition at the starting line and figuring that he could probably win. Ho Hum. No big deal. He then goes on to win in a time of 33:00. Yeah, I hate him too. Although I must admit I do the same thing at all my races. I check out the runners who are there and as I make my way back to the 9:00 minute/mile pace corral I think to myself “crap, if those 300 people ahead of me hadn’t shown up I might have had a shot at winning my age group.”

Guest Blogger: My Running Shoes

Every now and then I have a guest blogger write a post here at Half-Fast just so that I don’t have to write one, and so that you get to read something from someone other than me. It’s really a win-win situation. Today I’d like to introduce a new guest blogger who hasn’t posted here before. Please give a warm welcome to: My Running Shoes.

Right Shoe: Hello to all of Ian’s readers and welcome...
Left Shoe: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don’t think he wants you using his real name. I think you’re supposed to call him Vanilla.
RS: Vanilla? Really? That’s so lame!
LS: I’m just saying.
RS: Sorry. Hello to all of Vanilla’s (*snicker*) readers. We are sorry to have to tell you that we believe that Vanilla (*snicker*) has given up on running. We haven’t seen him since that lady jabbed and poked us trying to cut the timing chip off at the end of the Denver half marathon.
LS: I thought she was quite nice.
RS: Well that’s because you NEVER carry the timing chip. Anyway if any of you readers happen to see Vanilla (*snicker*) around then please tell him that it’s been 9 days since he last ran. 9 Days! Do you know what that makes you?
LS: Don’t say it!
RS: It makes you a ‘JOGGER!’
LS: Oh no you didn’t!
RS: That’s right. I said it. You’re a JOGGER! You like to think that you’re hardcore, you like to think that you’re a dedicated runner but you aint nothin’!
LS: You are going to get us replaced for a newer pair of shoes.
RS: You know what I wish? I wish that we’d fit well on that guy that came into the store and tried us on before we ever saw Vanilla (*snicker*). That guy was fast! If he’d have bought us we’d have won some races with that guy. None of this middle of the pack, taking 9 days off, slowly jogging, crap. You’re not half-fast, you’re all-slow! And you’re probably getting slower from not running! And while I’m at it, haven’t you ever heard of nail clippers? Hello? I’m sick of getting stabbed every time we go out.
LS: You’re going to get us replaced.
RS: Well maybe that’s for the best. If it means that I never get peed on again then I’ll gladly retire.

One

On Saturday morning I was scheduled to run 10 miles. Unfortunately, when I woke up on Saturday I discovered that I had misplaced my motivation. As you might guess, this is a somewhat common occurrence for me and I began looking for my lost motivation in the usual places. Was it still in bed, hiding under the covers? Nope. Was it in the pantry? Nope. Was it between the cracks in the sofa? Nope. It was nowhere to be found.

Without my motivation it was going to be tough to get outside and run my 10 miler. I debated just putting the run off altogether and that's when I drew the attention of the nagging voice in my head that I think of as the runner inside of me. He used to be the jogger inside of me and I used to be able to shut him up with donuts but he's been getting a lot louder and harder to ignore in recent months. "We HAVE to go run!" he kept telling me. After an hour of unsuccessfully trying to find something else to do I begrudgingly agreed with the runner inside of me, got my gear on and headed out the door.

One of the tricks that has always worked for me when I don't feel like running is to tell myself that I'll just go run one mile and then be done. That's usually good enough to get me out the door, and then once I start running I'll go ahead and run further, usually completing the run that I was scheduled to do. It's a great trick that my inner runner plays on me, and it always works. At least it HAS always worked. On Saturday morning as I headed out for my run the runner inside of me was feeling pretty smug, but I was still not feeling very good about it at all. It came as quite shock to my inner runner when I arrived back home after having completed one measly mile. I had barely even broken a sweat and I was finished.

As I walked through the back door of our house I happened across my ever supportive wife. She looked at her watch as if to see how long I'd been gone, raised an eyebrow and asked "are you injured?" all very cleverly calculated to make me feel guilty. Don't think for a second that she needed to look at her watch to know how long I'd been gone or that she thought I might be injured. I think my inner runner had phoned ahead and asked her to be there when we got home.
"Uhhh. No. Not injured, just done" I replied. I attempted to walk past her into the house and she moved into my path. A brief discussion ensued with her trying to motivate me to go back out and run and me extolling the virtues of the one mile training run. It ended when she played what she thought was the ace up her sleeve:
"You can be done if you promise to post on your blog that you only ran 1 mile today!"

So there it is dear readers. I ran 1 mile on Saturday, sans motivation. While I'm thinking of it, if anyone finds my motivation please return it to me. It's kind of a tabby color and answers to the name Figment.

Don’t Give Up, Don’t Ever Give Up

This isn't directly related to running but it is a great inspirational speech by the late Jim Valvano. If this speech doesn't inspire you then you're probably the worlds only living heart donor. If you have 10 minutes of free time, which you probably do since you're online reading a running blog, then I suggest that you check it out.



This was brought to my attention today while listening to ESPN radio. They are doing their annual auction today for the V Foundation for Cancer Research where you can bid on a number of different items.

I have my first FIRST workout tonight (see previous post), a 4x400 speedwork session and I think I'm going to watch this video again before start, or maybe I'll even do it on the treadmill and loop the video.

Reason To Run

I had one of the best runs of my life last night. I got home from work a little early and really didn't feel like running. I changed into my running attire because that is enough to motivate me out the door. Not this time. I snacked on some of the home made pizza that my wife had made for the kids and began to lethargically stretch. I was desperately looking for a reason not to run. Nothing came to me so I headed out the door.

I knew it was hot, but it was cloudy too so I left my sunglasses at home. I headed down the street and less than a minute into my run the wind blew the clouds away and the sun re-emerged, it would stay in my eyes for the remainder of the 4 mile loop. I don't know how that's possible but it somehow worked out that way. The wind was not a nice cool breeze mind you, more of an in-your-face warm Chinook wind. I debated turning around to go get my sunglasses but I knew that if I went back home I wasn't leaving again.

As I reached the end of my first mile I forgot to look at my watch to gauge my pace so I had no idea how I was doing until the half way point at 2 miles. 19:31 a full 30 seconds slower than I had hoped. As I plodded along, the wind began to ease a little, at least enough for the bugs to come out and attempt to fly up my nose and in my unprotected eyes. At this point I was wishing I hadn't gone running. My legs were getting tight, my knee was hurting, my mouth was dry and I hadn't brought any water with me. My stomach didn't feel right and I was now suffering through a series of pizza tasting burps. How I didn't see that coming I have no idea. I picked up the pace with hopes of getting back home in under 38 minutes. As I ran up the hill that is my cursed street I noticed a neighbor's sprinklers were on and were blowing out onto the sidewalk. I prepared myself for a refreshingly cool shower but as I neared the sprinkler's they turned off. I angrily pounded up the rest of street and stopped my watch at 40:17. Ugh!

So why was this the best run of my life? As I walked through the back door, my wife glared at me and said "YOUR son…" at which point I knew it was going to be bad, "… had diarrhea that managed to escape his diaper and get all over the place!" And I missed it all because I was struggling through 10 minute miles. It’s all about perspective.

San Diego? More like Sandy-Lame-O!

Sorry. San Diego’s great, but I just had to title this post with the quote from Madagascar that my two boys have been saying ALL DAY LONG. It was cute, even funny the first couple hundred times. Editor’s note: I think this reference to Madagascar gives me the perfect opportunity to use the “if you have any poo fling it now” tag for the second time which is quite an accomplishment for a running blog that has been in existence for less than a month. Thanks to those of you who left well wishes on my previous entry instructing me to enjoy my vacation. I am.

I found my motivation to run on vacation on Saturday morning. I had a long run of 10 miles Friday morning before we left for the airport so Saturday was my rest day. I was sitting out on the patio admiring the ocean view enjoying a bowl of Reese's Peanut Putter Cup cereal (usually I’m a fruit and oatmeal kind of guy for breakfast, but I’m on vacation so screw that) when I was rudely interrupted. First by my wife laughing at the back of my cereal box which had a list of 18 things to do before you turn 18, eight of which I still have not accomplished. Secondly by what was probably close to 200 runners running up the street outside that separates the house from the ocean. Here I am eating my high-calorie, low-energy, breakfast sitting on my butt and that was my wake up call, my figurative two by four to the cranium. So I managed to get in a 4 mile easy run on Sunday morning.

I also discovered from my June ’06 Runners World magazine that the San Diego Track Club meets on Thursdays at the runners bathroom in Mission Bay. I may head over there and see if I can run with them, so if you’re a member of the SDTC and you are reading this blog (long shot I know), leave me a comment and let me know when and where you run.

Personal Note to our house and dog sitter: I'm sorry I left the alarm clock set to go off at 6 in the morning at a DEFCON 5 alert level. I swear I do this to her every time we go somewhere. If you’re looking for a big screen TV or a nice treadmill she’ll probably give you the pair for $14 just out of spite.