In a post a couple of weeks ago I talked about a scenario where I arrived home after work and was inspired to go run because it was snowing. Yesterday I arrived home from work and the sun was shining, the sky was blue and the temperature was a balmy 52 degrees. It was a great night for a run even though I was not planning to run last night. I had planned to do some light weights (because heavy weights are too strenuous) and then maybe some mental training. Nevertheless, I found myself heading out the door for a quick 4 miles with my dog, Epaphras.
It was during my run that it occurred to me that if bad weather = me running and if good weather = me running then perhaps it isn’t the weather that makes me run. Perhaps there is just something wrong with me that makes me want to run. Perhaps it’s genetic? Perhaps all of us runners have some gene that has predetermined that we are going to be runners? Did it ever occur to you that you can’t turn someone into a runner, they’re born with it? These are the kind of crazy thoughts that crash around my cranium while I run.
Somewhere around the 3 mile mark Epaphras stopped to sniff some bushes and pee on them. Usually I try to make him keep running so we don’t have to stop but I’ve been battling a sore throat and a cough and needed some time to clear the massive phlegm buildup from the back of my throat. After a few hacking coughs brought up a loogie the size of my fist I felt a little better. I momentarily considered swallowing it because to be quite honest it had a very similar consistency to one of those CLIF Shot Gels. I’ve noticed this before and often thought that if I ate a bag of Skittles candy and then hocked up a loogie it would be pretty similar to a Raspberry CLIF Shot Gel. Don’t get me wrong, I swear by those things. I buy them by the case and I won’t go on a long run without one. (With apologies to the great folks at CLIF Bar who will most certainly not be sending me any more free stuff now that I’ve compared their Shot Gels to snot. It would appear that no one is immune to my stinging half witticisms.)
Before we started running again I gave a quick farmer’s blow to clear my nostrils. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw movement at the park across the street. There were two young boys over there staring at me with their mouths agape. The shocked expression on their faces said “dude, that’s the grossest thing I’ve ever seen!” I chuckled to myself, smiled at them and then went on my way. If they’re anything like my boys, they probably attempted their first farmer’s blow right after I left... either that or I’ve turned them off running for the rest of their lives. This would be disconcerting if we hadn’t already established that becoming a runner is genetic.
Never trying Clif Shots now, lol :-). Thanks for the visual!
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I've been looking at stage 1 & 2 ulcers all day w/out losing my lunch, but hearing you talk about considering swallowing your phlegm ball, about made me lose it. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteIf you successfully grossed out two young boys...you are a hero. Its takes a lot to impact them ;)
ReplyDeleteThat was your grossest post ever!
ReplyDeleteI like the clif shots better- especially now!
Tally another blow in the great snot rocket wars.
ReplyDeleteI'm shocked that boys were disgusted. Are you sure they just weren't just really ugly chicks? :P
ReplyDeleteWow I've totally got you beat on this one! I can blow snot rockets so well (it just creeps me out to call them farmer's blows...being that I'm a girl and all), that my running club has named me the "Perfect 10 Snot Rocket Queen": Perfect 10 because I can consistently run a perfect 10 minute mile...nothing faster or slower even as as hard as I try.
ReplyDeleteSee this post and the accompanying picture where my fan club showed up at the end of my run to cheer me into the Cracker Barrell. http://30yofseeksmarathontorun.blogspot.com/2008/01/16-miles-and-winning-dirty.html
As hard as the other girls in our club (and guys as well) try, they just can't get a perfect snot rocket like me!
And this is what I tell my mother she should be proud of???
I don't like it when you have posts without pictures. Too intellectual for me. You couldn't have even put a pic of Ep on there?
ReplyDeleteAmy! Don't encourage Vanilla like that! You don't think he'd take the high road and post a pic of his dog, do you? ;)
ReplyDelete(Though dog pictures are a good idea, especially with a post like this... eeeeeeyuh.)
You had me all bubbly at the begining thinking what a pondering piece of work by Vanilla, how he runs no matter the wearther only becuase he loves the run. Than you flash me into this visual of you blowing snot rockets..thanks!
ReplyDeletePS I would be impressed
i love blowing snot rockets. but only while running.
ReplyDeleteI doubt the boys were grossed out. My guess is they felt "geezered" by you. As in: "dude...that old guy just snot rocketed better than we can"
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I did just call you a geezer. I'm not afraid of you and your phlegm.
I've blown my nose in exactly the same manner on many a run.
ReplyDeleteDid it ever occur to you that you can’t turn someone into a runner, they’re born with it?
ReplyDeleteNope. It never occurred to me!
Those boys have probably been practicing ever since they saw you. Ever see Beavis and Butthead stand at the railing and let a luge over the edge, then pull it back up? Your post reminded me of that. Thanks a lot. I just admitted that I saw that show.
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ReplyDeleteWhat kind of medication are you on? Two hilarious posts in a row!
ReplyDeleteSurely running can't be genetic. If it is, then how can we boast about how hard we've worked to be so good? (Yeah, right.)
Ewwww... Definitely your grossest post ever!
ReplyDeleteYou do need to post a picture of your dog, tho, and explain how he got such a Biblical name.