Showing posts with label BBQ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BBQ. Show all posts

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Just Stop Already!

You know what really annoys me? If you’re thinking “the wind” then you’re right but it’s not the topic of this post. You may also be thinking “Subway commercials” or “Viper” or “the lady with 45 items in the self-scan lane at the grocery store” and those are all good guesses but perhaps you should stop with the incessant guessing and let me tell you what it is before I add “incessant guessing” to the list. The thing that is chafing the figurative nether regions of my character today is barbequing. “But that’s un-American!” you exclaim. “Stop interrupting, and let me explain,” I reply.

What’s really annoying about BBQing (not be confused with BQing) is that I can’t go 400 meters on an evening run lately without smelling something delicious being grilled. Since the weather has improved and the days are longer it seems that every house along the path that I run has decided to torment me by BBQing hamburgers, hot dogs, steaks and all manners of delectable charred meat products. It makes me envious. I don’t want to be running, I want to be eating delectable charred meat products. You’re probably thinking “why don’t you just grill something when you get home from your run?” And that’s a good question but the problem is that Candis usually has dinner ready when I get home from my run, so unless I’ve requested that we BBQ before I run, it’s too late. Talk about annoying, right? You guys can’t even imagine what I have to put up with.

One of these days I’m just going to snap and jump someone’s fence, unlid their Weber, and make off with a handful of burgers and brats. I’ve already scoped out several houses with low, hurdleable fences and BBQs that aren’t located near windows. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes, or I’ll stop posting all together because I doubt they let you update your blog from the hoosegow. You might be thinking “but greasy burgers are probably not good fuel for your runs, won’t you upset your stomach?” “Good point,” I reply while adding “interrupting” to my list of annoying things.

Don’t laugh, they plump when you cook ‘em!