France: Running is Undignified

The Washington Post recently published an article titled In France, Jogging is a Running Joke, which is ironic because in America, France is a running joke. The article, which you need to read to believe, states that the French people are outraged by new French president Nicolas Sarkozy running. "Sarkozy's running is an un-French, right-wing conspiracy" suggests Libération, a left wing Parisian newspaper. Charles Bremmer, a Paris correspondent for the Times of London has stated that "Sarkozy has fueled a French suspicion that running is for self-centered individualists like Americans."

French President Nicolas Sarkozy

[Begin French Accent]Mais Oui! But of course! ’Ow do you expect to smoke ze cigarette while you are running? And what of your consumption of le vin et le fromage. You would surely spill your wine! Oh Mon Dieu! [End Accent]

Alain Finkielkraut, a leading French intellectual [oxymoron alert], recently
demanded that Sarkozy give up his "undignified" exercise. Not only did he imply
that exposing the boss's naked knees [sacré bleu! naked knees?] is something
that never would have occurred in the time of Mitterrand, much less Louis XIV,
Finkielkraut [moron alert] claimed strolling is the proper activity of the
thinking person.

Oh sure. They are completely against running until Nazi Germany comes knocking and then you've never seen an army turn tail and run so fast. And since this Finkielkraut knucklehead brought up Louis XIV, do you know what else would have never occurred in the time of Louis XIV? (French Monarch from 1643 – 1715.) Democracy, women's rights, running water, surviving a bout with the common cold, and decent living conditions.

Perhaps the French should focus their outrage on something more needy of their attention, like the apparent lack of women's razors or their penchant for poor hygiene, or even putting an end to doping on the Tour De France. Apparently cycling is still considered a dignified activity even if your blood is teeming with more narcotics than Lindsay Lohan's. Viva La France!