Hey, Quit Stealing my Stuff!

I love getting my Runner’s World magazine in the mail (unlike some poor schmucks who have to walk to Walgreens for it). I love knowing that I have whole slew of running articles just waiting for me to read next time I’m on the can. Hey, don’t judge me, I have 2 kids and the only quality reading time I get is when I’m in the throne room.

So there I was, pants around my ankles reading my latest issue of Runner’s World when I came across an article titled Strike a Pose. Hmmmm, where have I heard of that before? Oh yes, I remember, it was RIGHT HERE! It was the title of my article posted over at CRN! Now forget for a moment that the two articles are dealing with completely different subject matter or that the phrase “strike a pose” is the totally obvious title choice for both articles (albeit a little cliché), they totally stole my idea. Obviously they read my article and loved my title so much that they decided to use it for their Yoga article.

No big deal I thought, as I sat there furrowing my brow from the straining of my bowels. I moved on to the rest of the articles, but it only got worse (the magazine not the straining). Up next for my reading pleasure was a whole series of articles called Love on the Run – “A look at the fun and playful ways that running and relationships intersect, including dating do’s [sic] and don’ts...” (Ha! A grammatical error right there on page 7! Even my dog knows that that apostrophe doesn’t belong there.) Hmmmm didn’t someone already do a fun look at running and dating? Maybe in the form of Pick Up Lines for Runners? Yeah, I thought so.

As if this wasn’t bad enough a few more pages back I found a review of the Pearl Izumi SyncroInfinity running shoes. Sure it was couched in amongst reviews of lots of different running shoes under the premise of the Summer Shoe Guide but I’m pretty sure I know of someone who just reviewed the Pearl Izumi SyncroInfinity. I did, right here. I suppose Runner’s World expects us to believe that they were always intending to include their Summer Shoe Guide in their June issue. What kind of fools do they take us for?

Oh, and don’t even get me started on how I felt about them talking about running skirts on page 75? Come on! Running skirts is totally MY THING! At this point I was so mad that I just had to get up and wipe.

So if anyone from Runner’s World is reading this, then you guys need to quit stealing my stuff. I’m sick of it.

My Co-worker has Shin Splints!

I just moved into a new office and the guy that works next to me was telling me that he has shin splints. Awesome! This is perhaps some of the best news that I've had in a long time. Is he a nice guy? No. He's a great guy, model citizen, hard worker, loyal friend, and what's more he's training for a half-marathon that's coming up in 4 weeks.

As you may or may not know I myself am training for a 10K race that's coming up in less than 3 weeks, and I'm always concerned about getting injured right before a race. It's that time when you are peaking in your training and there's always that worry in the back of your head that you will suffer from an over-use injury and miss the race. Either that or you will enter the race knowing that your likelihood of walking is so high you might as well be dug in against the Yankees middle relief. But now, I don't have to worry about injury. Why you ask? Do you have any idea what the odds are of two people who work in adjacent offices both getting shin splints? They're 1 in 340,774. (This may or may not be true). It's kind of like how TSA always advises you to carry a bomb with you on the airplane (also, may or may not be true). Because again, the odds of two unconnected people both carrying bombs onto the same plane are insanely high. So if you take a bomb onto a plane and don't detonate it you're bound to have a safe flight (Definitely, not true).

So rejoice with me all you readers, rejoice at the misfortune and pain of others that all but ensures an injury free upcoming 3 weeks.