The Winter Olympics

I love the Winter Olympics. Love it. I watch almost everything. I watch the hockey, I watch the alpine skiing events, I watch the sliding events, I watch the cross country skiing and the biathlon - it’s skiing AND shooting! I watch the speed skating (note to Sven Kramer: “What are you stupid?”). I even watch some of the curling. “The USA has a curling team? Awesome, TiVo it I’ll watch it while I’m running on the treadmill!” (Side note: Why is men’s and women’s curling segregated? Can women curlers not hold their own with the men? Keep it segregated I say, all the more curling events for me to watch). I watch the snowboard cross and the ski cross, I watch the aerials, the moguls, the ski jumping, and the halfpipe. It’s all very good. I do draw the line at the ice dancing though. When the ice dancing comes on that’s when I catch up on the other shows I’ve been neglecting in order to watch the Olympics.

The other night I was watching... I don’t even remember what event I was watching but I had a thought. You know what the Winter Olympics needs? A marathon. The marathon is the pinnacle of the Summer Olympics, you can argue that the 100m is watched by more people or that the swimming gets more coverage, but none of the other events have their medal ceremony incorporated into the closing ceremony. Only the marathon winners get to receive their medals during the closing ceremony of the Olympics. It’s like a tip o’ the hat to the marathon as the original Olympic event, so why not have a Winter Olympic Marathon too?

Now the Winter Olympics likes to have a bit of an X Games feel to it and we’d have to make some changes to the Winter Olympics Marathon course to keep with that theme. The race would be held in and around the host city so it would be a cold weather marathon. Perhaps the race would actually be an ultra marathon, what’s more X-treme than that? The course could traverse deep snow fields and treacherous frozen lakes, maybe it would even have transition areas so the runners could change into snow shoes or spiked shoes for the different sections. The runners could run up one side of a mountain and down the other side, it would make Heartbreak Hill look like a pimple. I think it would be a great event, but unfortunately we will have to wait for the next Winter Olympics to incorporate this idea because the Canadians would have tried to make the down hill portion of the race faster and more dangerous, eh.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Closing roads for marathons leads to fewer traffic deaths. No. Really. It’s true. I didn’t believe it at first either but then I saw this scientific study last night while I was not running again. Researchers at Canada’s University of Toronto (as opposed to Australia’s University of Toronto, I suppose) led by Dr. Donald Redelmeier have determined through an extensive study that there were 2 fewer traffic fatalities per day in counties where roads were closed for a marathon.

When reached for comment Dr. Redelmeier said “I’ve been wanting to scientifically prove this ever since I bet Dr. Munson that traffic deaths were lower during marathons and he scoffed at the idea.” Here we are, thousands of taxpayer dollars down the road and Dr. Redelmeier has finally won the argument and the respect of his peers. Up next for Dr. Munson is a study to prove that less people fall victim to frostbite in tropical climates, before initiating a probe into how the old “pull my finger” gag works.

Video Friday, Again

I don't mean to always be phoning it in on Friday and posting videos, in fact I wasn't even going to post at all today until I saw the following video. Watch very closely after the logo splash screen at the end. I cracked up at that guy as he sits down at his computer. I totally feel his pain.

That's it for today. The Weekend Splits will be posted tomorrow (hopefully) and then Monday will be Post #100 for Half-Fast. Be sure to tune in for that because it's going to be big. I'm not sure what it will be, but I'm pretty sure there will be dancing and free alcoholic beverages. Hey, I guess it will be kind of like my Sister's upcoming wedding, only bigger and better because I won't be wearing a tux. Heck, I might not be wearing anything at all! Wooo Hoooo!

Video from A Marathoner's Blog via The Toronto Runner.

I’m So Confused

A little over a week ago I posted a video of the Treadmill Bike and brashly proclaimed that it was of course a joke. I based that statement on my own vast intellectual prowess. I mean seriously, what is the point of a treadmill that you can ride around? In the comments section of that post one of my awesome readers said "wait a minute... it's a joke" and I thought that said commenter was just being funny. But it caused me some consternation. What if they weren't being funny? What if it wasn't a joke?

Then I stumbled upon this website which would appear to be a legitimate website where you can purchase the treadmill bike for $2500 Canadian eh. They even have reviews from people who have bought one which leads me to believe that this actually might not be a joke, and that would make me... wrong. (So this is how that feels. How does my wife put up with it?). Or is this website all part of the joke? Is it some kind of giant hoax designed to fool poor innocent bloggers like myself? I am truly baffled. On the one hand common sense dictates that it must be a joke, but on the other hand the website looks genuine. I feel like Vizzini trying to choose which wine to drink in The Princess Bride.

I'll conclude by stating that I believe that the treadmill bike is not just a joke… or it is. I don't know. The one thing that we do know for certain is that the treadmill bike is Canadian. Probably. We'll need to find out how well it plays hockey to be certain. Fortunately I am not a journalist and don't have to check my facts or find corroborating sources because I've already spent more time thinking about the treadmill bike than I care to.