A post in which I extol the virtues of technical running gear and find myself unable to let go of a bad analogy. Shocking, I know.Most of us know that as runners we shouldn’t wear cotton when we run. It doesn’t dry as fast as other fabrics, it doesn’t breathe, but most importantly it makes you look like a rube. It really doesn’t matter how fast you can run if you’re doing it in a cotton T-Shirt. Take my long run this past Saturday as an example; I was running down the trail when I spotted a fellow runner heading towards me. He seemed to be moving pretty fast which provoked my male ego and caused me to feed a little speed to my ride, and by ride I mean my sweet, new Pearl Izumis. Was that not clear? I hate it when my analogies don’t land.
As we passed each other I noticed that he was wearing a cotton shirt with sweat stains resembling a world atlas, only less colorful. (Had he been wearing one of those 80s Hypercolor shirts then this analogy could have been awesome.) His iPod was strapped around his arm just a few degrees west of the Perspiration Peninsula and he was wearing a Garmin, but all the running gadgetry in the world doesn’t distract the eye from a cotton shirt. Clearly, he wasn’t half the runner that I am with my Under Armor compression shirt and technical shorts regardless of how much faster he appeared to be. Just like that I had judged him by his cover, his sweaty, 100% cotton cover. Our paths crossed again later on that same trail loop and I still couldn’t take my mind of the fact that he was running in a cotton shirt, except for a brief moment when it occurred to me that continental drift doesn’t actually take thousands of years, it only takes a few miles.
I ended up running 7 miles, which easily constitutes a long run these days, and it doesn’t matter how far or how fast Sweaty McSweatsalot ran that day, I refuse to believe that he is a better runner than I am.
Site News: Feed Address Change
The feed address for Half-Fast has changed, actually it changed several months ago and I kept meaning to tell you in a separate post but I could never remember to do it. I’m told the old feed will continue to work just fine which seems to be true, except that it takes longer to update than the new feed does. So in reality it shouldn’t matter what feed you’re using if you don’t mind waiting for your daily dose of sarcasm but I know that some of you take your Half-Fast like you take your women: As quickly as possible and over too soon. Here endeth the triple crown of bad analogies. Oh, and the new feed address is: feedproxy.google.com/half-fast.
Wow. You put the "anal" in "analogy". Or, wait. Do you put the "ogy" in your "anal"?
ReplyDeleteBet you do both.
But I'm not judging you - you disgusting expatriate British prig, you.
George Costanza would disagree about the whole cotton not breathing thing, but I think you are correct. Natural fibre, maybe. Good for sweating, not exactly.
ReplyDeleteDid he stink too (not speed wise, I mean)?
So you're saying that since technical shirts are now cheap and readily available, and perform better on long runs, that we should all be wearing them? Bet your gonna claim your sweet new Pearl Izumi rides are more better than my vintage unironic 1986 Nike Pegasus sneakers, eh?
ReplyDeleteJudger.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, that was mean. I still kind of hate you for the free Pearl Izumis.
There is no excuse for the cotton shirt. One can only hope the Running Gods will trip him for his offense.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think the whole dri-fit, coolmax, whatever-you-wanna-name-it thing is a scam. Every time I run a race, a good percentage are wearing cotton. And race organizers always give out cotton. Maybe cotton LOOKS bad, but it makes you super fast.
ReplyDeleteNice post, that is so true. I almost cringe when I see the sweat-soaked cotton shirts peopel run in, how uncomfortable!
ReplyDeleteI wear cotton tees for shorter runs, & make sure it's a color that won't betray my uncoolness.
ReplyDeleteI like to think the extra weight of my soaked tee as running in a weight vest.
it's like there's a whole other world out there i didn't know about. runners and their likes and dislikes. i wonder how many other worlds are out there?
ReplyDeleteenjoyed the post.
(i figured i should say something nice since most times i'm a smartass on here. probably a defense mechanism cuz i know i'm never gonna get off my, um, couch, and go run myself)
For this reason, I only wear cotton when there's a good chance I won't encounter any human beings on my run. I'm totally a closet cotton-lover.
ReplyDeleteI was wearing a grey cotton shirt today and looked a lot like that guy in the pic. pretty gross, but without people like me to fuel blogs like this, how would we all burn time at work?
ReplyDeleteI still run with a nice cotton sweatshirt over my technical shirt on cold days. I know it is not the best, but I really dislike the cold. And I always change immediately afterwards in the car.
ReplyDeleteI think wearing cotton is more green. unless sheep fart alot like cows.
ReplyDeleteand I'm hoping this new feed will eliminate the error message I only get with your blog.
Technical shirts are overrated. If you sweat to any degree, it doesn't really matter what you wear.
ReplyDeleteI live in Texas and I don't shy away from running at 5PM in July (100F+ usually). I'll often wear a cotton shirt. I haven't noticed my sweating level and dryness level differ much between the two. When you sweat enough, technical gear will not save the day.
The only difference I've noticed is cotton will weigh more when wet, but not enough to slow me down (if that's what's slowing you down, might as well go shirtless).
White cotton shirts cost about $1-2 each, they last forever, and can be bleached. Sounds like a win/win to me.
Besides, the rules are set by winners, not whiners.
I am guessing he bloew his $$$ on his Garmin and Ipod...were they a 405 and 4g?
ReplyDeleteHehe. I LOVE it when I get to pass runners who have all the proper gear & gadgets, when I don't. I'm all like "your money can't buy you this, suckers!" as I speed past.
ReplyDelete(*I know b/c this actually happened to me. Once. A few years back. And I'll gloat about it forever, just like Mr Cotton probably is right now.)
Maybe you should check out guys a little less.
ReplyDeleteBut you're running in CO, where there's no humidity, therfore, do you even sweat? When I ran the Colfax half last spring, I ran in a cotten tee, and barely sweat at all, so I was perfectly comfortable.
ReplyDeleteCome to run in FL, where we have 80% humidity in the summer, and you will come to see how awful cotton is. And how awful shirts are.
I like to wear cotton. It makes me feel like rebellious low key runner. But whatever floats your boat!
ReplyDeleteI like to wear cotton shirts because I feel they give me more street creds. As in the "I know there are better materials out there, but I'm so good that I don't need them" kind of way.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I feel liek a bit of a tool if I wear super technical clothes to run around my neighbor, which is filled with blue-collar workers and starving artists.