No, I’m not going to participate in the Boulder Pumpkin Run because it would be a total waste of my awesome Gorilla costume. Also, the average temperature at 10PM on October 31 is not conducive to showcasing your male reproductive organ and I can do without all the laughing and pointing thankyouverymuch. However, I will gladly volunteer to be the official photographer, I’ll even wear my Gorilla costume.If you’re interested in learning more about the Boulder Pumpkin Run you can visit their website at nakedpumpkinrun.org. Fear not, that link is safe for work but where you go from there is at your own discretion, particularly if you decide to click on the Gallery or view the videos.
I really don’t get why this sort of thing would be enticing. I mean sure, I get that you want to see other people naked, but doesn’t it hurt to run naked? I mean, isn’t everything kind of bouncing around in an uncomfortable manner? If it was really cold enough then I suppose your junk might shrink enough to reduce the flopping around to a manageable amount, but then you get back into that undesirable area of the laughing and the pointing. No thank you. Perhaps some of you readers who have participated in naked runs can enlighten me as to what the lure is. Be sure to include pictures* with your e-mail... you know... to prove that you’ve actually done a naked run.
*Does not apply to male readers.
Editorial note: Please accept my apologies for the recent lack of posts. I’m a banker and I’ve been extremely busy these past few weeks, what with the market deciding to take a dump and my insistence on continuing to work banker’s hours. It’s going to be OK though. My company is planning a luxurious retreat at a 5 star resort so that I can recharge my batteries and I’ve been meaning to thank all you taxpayers out there for making that possible. Without your help we probably wouldn’t be able to spend a cool half a mil on golf and fun in the sun, it’s just what the doctor ordered.
I knew you had something to do with this wintry economic climate.
ReplyDelete*Does not apply to female readers.
ReplyDeleteI think you should really be careful what you entice your readers to do...
I'm looking at you marcy :)
would a nudist abstain from this event because a jack-o-lantern is required?
ReplyDeleteMight be more entertaining than the Drag Races in Key West.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I feel the colder weather is advantageous for the ladies. Perks everything up. But I'm still not ready to run without a sports bra. Besides, nudists are never who you want them to be, ya know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteThe attraction is simple. You go there to hook up with someone who has a smokin' bod - can't hide those flaws when you're in yer b-day suit! - maybe have a few drink along the route, get a little tipsy ... end up in bed ...
ReplyDeleteOnly to wake up the next day next to someone who - smokin' bod notwithstanding - WASN'T WEARING A JACK O'LANTERN!! That was her (or his) ACTUAL FACE!!!
BLLAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
(All good H-ween runs should end with a nice M. Night Shyamalan twist.)
If you are scoring at home, you'll note that there hasn't been one single protest that YOU aren't participating in this event.
ReplyDeleteMan, this Halloween thing is beyond the comprehension of this European. But then again so are Polar Dips...
ReplyDeleteand Republicans...
I can't stop cringing at the thought of running without a sports bra. Oy!
ReplyDeleteSounds like an interesting run! Yikes!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Xenia about the lack of sports bra. Basically, any woman who can run without a sports bra is flat enough that there isn't anything to see anyway. Any woman who would be well-endowed enough to really be worth looking at would probably run with her hands holding her chest anyway, thereby blocking the view. Kind of a lose-lose situation...
ReplyDeleteWe never have those fun runs in Phoenix.
ReplyDeleteas a nonrunner (true runner) I CANT BELIEVE THESE REALLY HAPPEN.
ReplyDelete*ponders starting a nekid weight training thingy*
Naked running. Not
ReplyDeleteNaked pumpkin run? You gotta be kidding me. I am at work, and as soon as I get home, I will research this thoroughly.
ReplyDeleteLove the editorial note!!
ReplyDeletetoo funny.
Be sure and charge everything to room service!! lol
Em
Naked running just sounds...well, ouchie. Not too mention the fact that I would certainly get distracted by all the who-ha's and weiners, and I would trip, fall down and scrape up my sweater bunnies. Nothing but ouchie.
ReplyDeleteNaked running...people wouldn't want to see me naked...not to mention it would hurt my chest and my beer gut.
ReplyDeleteI like the pumpkin-head idea...thought up by some-one clever, I'll bet...to see and not be seen.
ReplyDeleteoucccchhhhh.
ReplyDeleteand i'm sure you bankers deserve a break, after all, you are all under tremendous stress and strain. what with your bonuses being cut back to only a 1/2 a mil. I mean really. Bankers are people too! (sort of.)
Hmmm - I'm not important enought to worry about reputation, image, or people pointing/laughing. Just to explain to those women not in the know, some men's junk grows a _little_ when hard, meaning it is about the same all the time, and some men's grows _many times_. Mine is in the latter category which means it is naturally tiny, though modestly above average hard (I know, it's odd how all men's junk is "above average" but mine is). Then throw in the cold weather and I'll prolly look more like some sort of tumorous vagina as my stuff tries to huddle behind the twins.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the thing for me is the freedom. I am naked a lot around my land in the country and love it. Would walk around town naked if allowed to. It is NOT a sexual thing, as any nudist/naturist will tell you. Would love running through a town naked and getting away with it. Unfortunately, it appears to be a "by invite only" event, as it is not possible for me to get staging info from anyone. So...I can't participate though I want to.
Rick