Katie Holmes not running Boston Marathon

If you’re like me, you probably saw that headline and thought “well of course Katie Holmes isn’t running the Boston Marathon, she didn’t post a good enough time to qualify.” That didn’t stop all kinds of reports from circulating this morning claiming that she had registered for the Boston Marathon.

As you may remember from this post Katie finished the NYC Marathon in 5:29:58 which is within spitting distance of qualifying for the Boston Marathon... if you’re a camel and spitting off the side of the Grand Canyon. However it is not that unusual for exemptions to be made by the Boston Marathon to allow non-qualifiers to run in the race, and if you think for one second that they weren’t going to make an exemption for the hot chick that ran NYC without a bra, then you’re kidding yourself.

Is it fair that someone famous gets an exemption just for being famous while a handsome blogger has to earn his way in? Probably not, but it’s not my place to complain. Some may point out that it isn’t fair that I was blessed with a rapier wit, devastating charm and a beautiful family, to which I respond with “yuh-huh!”

It really doesn’t matter whether it’s fair or not because Katie’s rep came out this morning and stated that she’s not going to run the Boston Marathon because her controlling, super-freak of a husband won’t allow it. (I might have made up that last part but it sounded good, and plausible too.)

How is it that this non-news was worthy of a post here at Half-Fast? Quite simply it was just another excuse to post a picture of Katie Holmes. Perhaps tomorrow I will report that Eva Mendes and Jessica Alba are not running the Boston Marathon just so I can post pictures of them too. You see what I did there?

Source - I feel so ashamed that I just used People magazine for a source.

Katie Holmes is Running

Katie must’ve dropped something. Too bad it wasn’t that freakshow husband of hers.
You've probably already heard that Katie Holmes ran the NYC Marathon this past weekend and you’ve probably already seen the pictures. You’re probably thinking that I’m awfully late to the table with this entry but quite frankly Half-Fast has never claimed to be quick on the uptake, nor has it ever been considered a source for breaking news. Yes, all the best jokes have already been written by others and there’s very little left for me to say. Why then would I go ahead and post this blog entry? Because it gave me an excuse to Google pictures of Katie Holmes, and because if I don’t mention it on Half-Fast then it never really happened.

As much as I applaud Katie Holmes for running the NYC marathon I’d prefer that she stick to what she does best: Cavorting around in my dreams sans underwear while we play in the warm surf of the Caribbean waters, giggling as our toes sink into the sand. Later we’ll go back to the cabana and I’ll quote French poetry to her as she gazes at me in wonderment, all the while wanting to... uhmm... what? Sorry about that. I was just getting caught up in the moment.

Hey look! It’s just like my dreams! She’s not wearing a bra! At least that’s what someone told me. I didn’t actually notice that she wasn’t wearing a bra, in fact, I’m not even sure how one would be able to tell if that was the case or not.

Ahh yes. Nothing says “loving husband” like dreaming of another woman on your wife’s birthday. Happy Birthday babe! I love you!

Many thanks to reader and fellow celeb stalker, Marcy for the tip on this story.

Katie finished the NYC Marathon in 5:29:58 which equates to a pace of 12:36 per mile. I mention this only to add some legitimacy to this post. Now, back to that dream that I was having. Where were we? Oh yes... gazes at me in wonderment, all the while wanting to...