Anthony Edwards is Running

Check out the hilarious new video from Funny or Die via the always humorous Mark Remy from RW Daily.

Anthony Edwards has finally found a way to get back into television: The ING New York City Marathon. Listen and learn as he tells you about his preparation and planning for this spectacular live television event.

Anthony Edwards returns to TV in the NYC Marathon from Anthony Edwards

I’m so brushing my teeth with Accelerade on race mornings from now on.

Yeah, that’s all I got today.

What Can You Say?

This is a running blog. Occasionally I get sidetracked with other topics but even then they are usually loosely related to running. With that in mind I started out to write a post about running today, I was going to completely avoid the subject of Michael Jackson because there’s really no way to tie it to running other than to say I have some of his songs on my running playlist. The thing is, it feels wrong to me to just ignore it outright and not say anything about his tragic passing last night. That’s how big Michael Jackson is. That’s how much of an impact he had on this world. There is no reason whatsoever that I should be feeling compelled to talk about Michael Jackson today on a running blog, any yet here I am babbling incoherently about him. Perhaps that’s the biggest compliment I can pay him, he is too big of an icon to ignore.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson, The King of Pop.

Is there any cooler dance move than the moonwalk?
In running related news, Kristina, the marathon mama has finally moved to her new blog that you should totally check out and subscribe to in your reader. The name of her new blog is Marathon Mama, which you might be thinking is the same as the old name but you’re wrong. The old blog was called ‘the marathon mama’ which is significant because if you order your blogroll alphabetically, as I do, it means that she just jumped up a few spots. She’s crafty. Kristina, I will always remember that you started Marathon Mama on the day that Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died.

Jessica Biel is Running... oh, and so is Timberlake

I was going to try and wait a while before doing another celebrity running post because I know some of you come here for serious running talk not salacious gossip but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to post pictures of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake running together. Biel is currently holding down one of the top spots on my ‘list of 5 celebrities’ and as for Timberlake, well, he’s the first alternate. *swoon*

Anyway, here they are running at Chelsea Pier a couple of days ago, and I have no idea where Chelsea Pier is but it seems like it should be warmer there this time of year.

Is Timberlake wearing a hat with his own initials on it? Who does he think he is Tiger Woods?
They appear to be moving pretty quickly because they get further and further from the guy in the white shirt behind them and you know that he was trying to stay close to her behind. Or maybe I’ve got the pictures backwards and the guy in the white shirt is catching up to them, yeah, let’s go with that.

There were a lot more pictures of them running together but I’m not going to post them all because there very similar to these pictures (i.e. not revealing enough). Instead, how about I post some pictures of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake looking sexy and wearing less? See, when couples run together there’s something for everyone here at Half-Fast, well, everyone but the people who are into cross dressers, but that’s such a small demographic.

Check out that Paparazzi guy behind them being obnoxious and taking pictures. Talk about an annoying way to have to run everyday. Hey buddy, quit being a jerk and leave them alone! And also hurry up and publish your pictures to the web so I can find some pictures from that angle. Yes, I’m aware that I am both promoting what the Paparazzi do and being righteously indignant about their invading people’s privacy in the same post. It’s called ‘having my cake and eating it too’ and it’s a wonderful way to live. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got to go harass some other bloggers for objectifying women... just as soon as I upload a few more of these bikini pictures - now who’s bringing sexy back, huh?

Hello Treadmill

Last night it was raining and cold and windy and wet (as a result of the rain I suspect), so when it came time to do my 5 mile tempo run I went down to the basement to run on the treadmill. Usually I really hate having to run on the treadmill because I get so bored with it, but lately I’ve noticed that my feelings can no longer be described as hate because that is much too nice a word for the way I feel about the Rubber Band of Doom (Raz’s phrase, not mine). Lately my feelings towards the treadmill are better summed up by the words despise, loathe, and abhor and even that’s not enough. What I need is a superword that combines all those things like despoathor. My despoathor for running on the treadmill is so deep and dark that the depths of it cannot be known to mortal man. If despoathor was measured by human rights violations and pollution I’d be China. But I’m letting the analogy runaway with the post so I’ll try to get back on track.

What I’m trying to tell you is that I don’t like to run on the treadmill, I hope that came across. This despoathor for the treadmill usually results in me watching TV while I run to distract myself from what I’m doing. If I can get lost in a good TV show like Gilmore Girls SportsCenter then I can lose my focus on how many hundredths of a mile have ticked by and the time seems to pass quicker. Last night I found a new show to watch that was great to run to: UFC Unleashed. For those of you who haven’t seen it’s an hour long program that shows old UFC fights. (UFC = Ultimate Fighting Championship.) Now I’ve never been a huge UFC fan, but there was something about watching it last night that made my run feel so much easier. Maybe it was an adrenaline rush from watching two guys beat each other’s brains out or maybe it was the idea that no matter how hard my run was I knew that I still wasn’t in as much pain as that guy on the TV. Whatever it was, it worked. I’ve got a new show to TiVo just in case I have to run on the treadmill again in the future.

For those of you who have never watched UFC, here’s a compilation of some knockouts courtesy of Anderson “The Spider” Silva.



Finally, because it’s Friday and I do actually listen to your comments, here are the pictures that you’ve been asking for. For the guys: More Anna! For the ladies: Ryan Reynolds who ran the NYC Marathon and Matthew McConaughey, who some of you astutely pointed out ran a triathlon. Confidential to Matty: Get yourself a manlier running stride. You may be faster than me and more successful and more attractive and more ripped and more famous but I’ve got the manlier running style. Winner? Probably Matty, but it’s close, no?

Anna Kournikova is Running

Former tennis Champion player Anna Kournikova recently participated in the Nautica South Beach Triathlon (½ mile swim, 19 mile bike, 4 mile run), and when I say that she participated in the Triathlon I mean that she just did the running part. That’s my kind of Tri. Kournikova was the running leg of a relay team that completed the tri in 1:30:58. In doing the tri, Kournikova was able to accomplish something that she was never able to do in the tennis world; being officially referred to as #1. Oooh, that one’s gonna’ sting for a while!

Carrying tennis racquets around helps you know who she is.
This story has been reported on several of the celebrity gossip blogs mostly because there are some good close-ups of Ms. Kournikova’s butt in spandex. (For the record, I would never stoop to objectifying chicks like that here at Half-Fast.) The story was also reported by EverymanTri but despite all the coverage that this has received no one has yet reported how fast Kournikova ran her 4 mile leg of the race. No one until now. I did a little investigative reporting (looked up the results) and discovered that Kournikova posted a time of 27:53 for her 4 mile leg, a blistering 6:59 pace.

Color me impressed. I was expecting something much slower but I probably should have known better. Despite being an easy target and never having won any singles titles, Kournikova was at one time a world class athlete, breaking into the top 10 during the peak of her career. It really shouldn’t surprise me that she’s faster than I am, and that commands my respect. Plus, she’s smokin’ hott! I just don’t know what she sees in Enrique Iglesias. What does he have that I don’t? (Rhetorical.)

You can read Kournikova’s recap of the race on her blog here. (She’s probably overjoyed to have just received a link from Half-Fast!)

Thanks for the tip on this story to awesome reader Chris, who once attained the number one ranking in the world for coolness, but lost it when they found out he drove a VW Bug (total chick car).

Nicollette Sheridan is Running

Nicollette Sheridan, of the TV show Desperate Housewives and timeless movies such as Beverly Hills Ninja and Spy Hard, was spotted running on the beach in Malibu at least a couple of times in recent weeks. Running on a beach often sounds like the perfect run, but trust me when I tell you from experience that it is nothing of the sort. It tears up your calves, it really doesn’t make you look any sexier, and even when you try it in slow motion (a la Baywatch) it still invites comparisons to beached whales. Just shut up and leave me alone you stupid tourists!

But if you ever had any lingering doubts that running does a body good then I invite you to review the pictures of Nicollette Sheridan lounging in a bikini that I have placed at the end of this post. Nicollette Sheridan turns 45 next month and she still looks great, not quite up to my high standards mind you, but certainly closer than any other 45 year old.


As I type this post it occurs to me that Nicollette Sheridan along with many other actors has a pretty tough life. Running on the beach with your dog, lounging in the sun, drinking, doing magazine photo shoots, attending all those award shows and making appearances at multiple after-parties, how do they do it? They truly are the model of hard work and dedication, the epitome of the American dream being lived out before our very eyes. And if you think that it just sounds like I’m extremely jealous then you, sir or madam, are quite perceptive.

Note: I realize that today is Halloween and this post isn’t very scary or Halloweeny, so allow me to offer some bonus Halloween advice to make up for it. I’ve been noticing a lot of tips on how to avoid the Halloween candy from the various running and health blogs that I visit, things like buy candy you don’t like (does not compute), or give out pens or toys or healthy snacks (a sure way to be the hated neighbor). Here’s my tip for you: Show some freaking restraint you gutless pushover and just DON’T EAT THE CANDY IN THE FIRST PLACE! If that fails, then just do like I do; eat whatever you want and add some extra miles to your long run. You probably burn somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 calories per mile, keep that in mind when you’re inhaling 500 calories of Snickers and think of the pain that 5 more miles will equal, then ask yourself “is it really worth it?” In the case of the Snickers the answer is yes, yes it is worth it.

Liv Tyler is Running

I love it when I get to post pictures of hot, relevant celebrities out running, but since there haven’t been any lately, I’m going to do a post about Liv Tyler running. Get it? I’m implying that she’s not hot or relevant! Ooooh, I hope she doesn’t read Half-Fast because that one’s going to STING for a little while! That’s Liv Tyler pictured over there on the right, looking sexy and not running because looking sexy while running is a feat that only a few of us can pull off, (see image below for further evidence). Also, looking sexy for Liv Tyler is a relative term because you need to take into consideration that she got a little less than half of her genes from this guy.

The image below is Liv out running in Brentwood, CA with her personal trainer. I seem to remember that she was recently divorced or separated from her husband, and if I wasn’t so lazy did any research for my posts at this site at all I could probably tell you for certain. My point though, is that she’s no longer with her husband and here she is out jogging with some guy who’s a personal trainer (is that what we’re calling them these days?). In Hollywood I’m pretty sure that this means they’re sleeping together so I’ll bet that those are the current rumors making the rounds. If those rumors weren’t already out there, then they probably are now thanks to my irresponsible assumptions.

As always you can click on the images to enlarge the pictures. From what I can tell Liv is running in a cotton shirt that could double as a motorcycle cover for my Harley. I don’t actually have a Harley because they are dangerous and they scare me, but the joke doesn’t work if I take the time to explain all of that to you... oh... right... I see what I did wrong there.

Didn’t her ears used to be more pointy or something?

[Source: The Skinny Website]

Nicole Kidman is Running

Nicole Kidman was photographed running this past weekend in L.A. It’s been a while since I’ve written a post about a celebrity running, despite the fact that they are some of my favorite posts to write. Mostly this is because it has given me an excuse to (Go)ogle pictures of Jessica Simpson, Katie Holmes, and Jessica Biel to name a few. Also, it allows me make fun of famous celebrities and showcase my jealousy of their fabulous lives. Today it is with half-hearted resolve that I post this entry containing pictures of a pregnant, 40 year old Nicole Kidman. Let’s face it she’s not really stacking up to the other names that I mentioned above.

I’m not saying that Nicole Kidman isn’t sexy enough to be featured here at Half-Fast because she’s 40 and pregnant, it’s just that... well... yeah... I guess that’s exactly what I’m saying. To be clear I don’t have anything against pregnant 40 year olds, other than the fact that it seems an unnecessary risk to get pregnant at 40 when I have two kids that I would happily give away to a good home. It just doesn’t usually make for a good combination when you’re looking for sexy images to post on your blog.

So why did I post the above picture? To illustrate a point. I need your help here folks. I don’t think it benefits anyone if I have to resort to posting less-than-sexy celebrities, but I can’t keep track of all these celebrities by myself. I know that you all read the celebrity gossip rags, hell Marcy practically writes one. Whenever you see stories about celebrities running I need to know about it. When the paparazzi photograph some A-lister running on the beach, I need to see those pictures. You people need to do a better job of e-mailing me when these stories pop up.

Now normally this post would also get the “posts I hope my wife doesn’t read” tag, but in this case it’s not necessary because she has nothing to fear from Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman is not ever going to come searching for a little Vanilla love due to her tragically horrendous taste in men (see Cruise, Tom also see Urban, Keith). Even if she did, I would not be interested. First of all, my wife is much hotter than Nicole Kidman (and also much more reading this over my shoulder as I type than Nicole Kidman). Also and perhaps more importantly, my wife is not on the verge of producing a screaming, crying, diaper-filling, bundle of what-have-we-done.

Thanks to Celebrity Source which is where I heard about the story. No thanks to you lousy readers, when are you going to start pulling your weight around here?

Katie Holmes not running Boston Marathon

If you’re like me, you probably saw that headline and thought “well of course Katie Holmes isn’t running the Boston Marathon, she didn’t post a good enough time to qualify.” That didn’t stop all kinds of reports from circulating this morning claiming that she had registered for the Boston Marathon.

As you may remember from this post Katie finished the NYC Marathon in 5:29:58 which is within spitting distance of qualifying for the Boston Marathon... if you’re a camel and spitting off the side of the Grand Canyon. However it is not that unusual for exemptions to be made by the Boston Marathon to allow non-qualifiers to run in the race, and if you think for one second that they weren’t going to make an exemption for the hot chick that ran NYC without a bra, then you’re kidding yourself.

Is it fair that someone famous gets an exemption just for being famous while a handsome blogger has to earn his way in? Probably not, but it’s not my place to complain. Some may point out that it isn’t fair that I was blessed with a rapier wit, devastating charm and a beautiful family, to which I respond with “yuh-huh!”

It really doesn’t matter whether it’s fair or not because Katie’s rep came out this morning and stated that she’s not going to run the Boston Marathon because her controlling, super-freak of a husband won’t allow it. (I might have made up that last part but it sounded good, and plausible too.)

How is it that this non-news was worthy of a post here at Half-Fast? Quite simply it was just another excuse to post a picture of Katie Holmes. Perhaps tomorrow I will report that Eva Mendes and Jessica Alba are not running the Boston Marathon just so I can post pictures of them too. You see what I did there?

Source - I feel so ashamed that I just used People magazine for a source.

Katie Holmes is Running

Katie must’ve dropped something. Too bad it wasn’t that freakshow husband of hers.
You've probably already heard that Katie Holmes ran the NYC Marathon this past weekend and you’ve probably already seen the pictures. You’re probably thinking that I’m awfully late to the table with this entry but quite frankly Half-Fast has never claimed to be quick on the uptake, nor has it ever been considered a source for breaking news. Yes, all the best jokes have already been written by others and there’s very little left for me to say. Why then would I go ahead and post this blog entry? Because it gave me an excuse to Google pictures of Katie Holmes, and because if I don’t mention it on Half-Fast then it never really happened.

As much as I applaud Katie Holmes for running the NYC marathon I’d prefer that she stick to what she does best: Cavorting around in my dreams sans underwear while we play in the warm surf of the Caribbean waters, giggling as our toes sink into the sand. Later we’ll go back to the cabana and I’ll quote French poetry to her as she gazes at me in wonderment, all the while wanting to... uhmm... what? Sorry about that. I was just getting caught up in the moment.

Hey look! It’s just like my dreams! She’s not wearing a bra! At least that’s what someone told me. I didn’t actually notice that she wasn’t wearing a bra, in fact, I’m not even sure how one would be able to tell if that was the case or not.

Ahh yes. Nothing says “loving husband” like dreaming of another woman on your wife’s birthday. Happy Birthday babe! I love you!

Many thanks to reader and fellow celeb stalker, Marcy for the tip on this story.

Katie finished the NYC Marathon in 5:29:58 which equates to a pace of 12:36 per mile. I mention this only to add some legitimacy to this post. Now, back to that dream that I was having. Where were we? Oh yes... gazes at me in wonderment, all the while wanting to...

More Celebrity Goodness from the Denver Marathon

A little over a month ago I managed to offend super-sensitive commenter Daniel when I called out the folks at the Denver Marathon over their somewhat exaggerated use of the word "celebrity." I sure hope that Daniel is not still reading this blog because I just received an e-mail from the Denver Marathon with the remainder of the "celebrities" who will be running.

In case you missed my first post on this subject, or missed Daniel's comment you can find them here.

The complete list of "celebrities" (new to the list "celebrities" are bolded):

• Rowdy Gaines - gold medal-winning Olympic swimmer.
• Bill Romanowski - former Denver Broncos player.
• Alex Smith - cast member of MTV's Real World Denver.
• Scott Elrod - cast member on ABC's "Men in Trees."
• Jake Schroeder - lead singer of Opie Gone Bad.
• Marni Rachich - "Peekaboo Screech" on the Denver Roller Dolls.
• Vic Lombardi - CBS4 sportscaster.
• Maggie Ireland - Miss Colorado 2007.
• Chris Anthony - extreme skier and star of 17 Warren Miller films.
• Ami Cusack - cast member of CBS' "Survivor 9 Vanuatu".
• Whitney Gustafson - Broncos Cheerleader.
• Stephen Keel - a Colorado Rapids defender player. (Their phrasing, not mine.)
• Dave McGillivray - Race Director of the Denver and Boston Marathon.

To be honest I don't really have anything further to say and probably would have just let this slide by unnoticed if Daniel hadn't commented on the last post, but now I feel like I have to defend the position that I took. I'm guessing that Daniel is actually someone who is involved with the Denver Marathon, because I really can't fathom someone on the list being upset about a blog with a daily readership of under 200. I also find it hard to believe that this actually reached one of the people on the list. Daniel is probably the talent coordinator for the Denver Marathon and was Googling "Denver Marathon celebrities" to see what people were saying about the wonderful job he did of bringing in A list celebrities to run this thing when he came across Half-Fast. It's really too bad because I found Daniel's comment amusing, he seems like a funny guy. I'm quite sure that we'd have been best of friends if we'd have met under different circumstances.

As I stated previously I have no beef with any of the people who are volunteering to run for the benefit of a charity. I was merely pointing out that there are very few of them that I would consider to be celebrities, but hey, what do I know? I'm just some dick with a blog.

Jessica Simpson is Running

The above picture is the lovely Jessica Simpson running yesterday in LA. The picture is posted here so that we can analyze her running posture and should not be used for ogling purposes. It appears to me that she is using the Pose method of running, as opposed to being a heel-striker. Bravo Jessica! It also looks like she overpronates a touch and should perhaps buy some running shoes that are designed to correct that. Finally, she does appear to be a little top heavy. Woo Hooo! The only other thing that is wrong with the picture is that it is a still picture. Man, what I wouldn't give to have that be a video.

This has been an educational moment brought to you by Half-Fast.

Yowza! Nice Stems!
In related news I'll be moving to LA very shortly where I will be performing the ultra-ironman-feat of running around all the parks in LA non-stop until I am joined by Jessica Simpson. Once she smells my vanilla-y sweet sweat she'll be all mine.

Personal note to Candis, my beloved wife: I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I think you'd do the same if Matthew McConaghay was single and out running around.

By the way you can click the pictures for full-sized analysis of Jessica's running form.

With thanks to WWTDD, who has more pictures if you're interested, and why wouldn't you be?

I'm Running 2,561 Wienermobiles

It's Wienerific!
A number of weeks ago Just Your Average Joggler had a post where he discussed the length of a marathon using some non-standard units of measure. Today I will be employing the use of my plagiary tag and re-writing his post in my own words. I feel really guilty about it because I'm quite sure that no blogger has ever taken another blogger's idea and posted it onto their own blog. Ever.

As you know I'll be running the Denver Half Marathon on October 14th and while most people think of a half marathon as 13.1 miles I think I might prefer to think of it as:

• 2,561 Wienermobiles.
• 702,748.29 Cockroaches laid end to end, but I feel sorry for the .29 of a cockroach that has to be brutally murdered and sawn in half to complete this analogy. (OK, no I don't.)
• 221,337.6 Flaccid penises laid end to end. No word on whose flaccid penis that is and I really do feel bad about the 0.6 in this analogy. Is there any way we can use John Wayne Bobbitt's since it may already be a 0.6? (Did you know that there are 2 C's in flaccid or that it can apply to something other than your wiener? It's not a word I like to use a lot so I had no idea.)
• 47.56 Empire State Buildings laid end to end.
• 3,547 Small Intestines.
• 9,764.89 Shaquille O'Neals laid end to end.
• 11,857.37 Giraffe's Necks.
• 16.47 Trips across the Golden Gate Bridge - That somehow makes it sound better.
• 1,419.69 of the World's Longest Snakes. I hate snakes.
• 0.262 Panama Canals. (Did you know that if you spell the phrase "a man, a plan, a canal, Panama" backwards it says the same thing. Also, did you know that's called a Palindrome?) You did not!
• 207,504 Human tongues, meaning that a human tongue is roughly a quarter inch longer than a flaccid penis and there is no way to prove this because a human tongue has never seed a flaccid penis.
• 230.56 Football Fields
• 0.00655 Oregon Trails.

Also of note, I weigh the same as:

• 11.48 Spider Monkeys.
• 2,592 Human Eyeballs.
• 0.146 Testicles of a Right Whale. Now I don't know what a Right Whale is pero él tiene huevos grandes.
• 3,227 Quarters.
• 36 Chickens.
• 1.47 Jennifer Anistons.
  
  
  

I weigh 1.47 of these. I hope she's not stretching cold muscles prior to going for a run. Only an idiot would do that, right?
If you'd like to know how tall you are in tongues or if you want to know how many breast implants it would take to equal your weight you can visit the weird converter and figure it out. Be sure to let us know if you find any that are interesting.

Weekend Splits

Weekend Splits is my recap of things that I found interesting or humorous over the past week. If you have a submission for the weekend splits e-mail me.

This edition of the Weekend Splits is being posted on Sunday, September 9th which just so happens to be the birthday of some pretty cool celebrities: Michael Keaton, Hugh Grant, Adam Sandler, Rachel Hunter (no surprise that she's the one whose picture I chose to display), Joe Theismann, Macy Gray, and Vanilla – that's right. Me! Also on September 9th California was admitted as the 31st state of the United States, so you see, it wasn't always good times and noodle salad on the 9th.

Happy Birthday Rachel Hunter!

Have you ever wondered why your running shoes smell? Just Your Average Joggler breaks it down in detail, but he doesn't just stop there. He's a problem solver, so he also tells you the best method to clean your running shoes too. Notice that I said "YOU" and "YOUR SHOES" because my shoes don't stink. My sweat smells of rose petals and cinnamon and has been known to restore sight in blind people, I also piss excellence.

EDIT: - I just found additional 'smelly shoe advice' complete with hilarious video over at Runners Lounge. Check it out.

Ali over at Just One More Mile continues to run every day and has proclaimed that she will do so until she reaches 100 (consecutive runs not years old). She's getting Limbaugh'd on Ibuprofen and running a half marathon today. Best of luck Ali, I hope that you PR. I also hope that I'm faster than you in 5 weeks when I run my half marathon because it's my secret goal to be faster than any of my readers or commenters. Once I stop getting faster I'll just have to start eliminating readers who I believe to be faster than me. Watch out Marcy!

EDIT: - Just read Ali's blog and she did PR. 2:07:01. Awesome Job Ali!

For any runners out there who are looking for advice I'd highly recommend that you contact Amy Lawson. Why? Just take a look at the advice that she gives. She's better than Dear Abby, who's probably a guy anyway.

That's all I've got this week. As always please e-mail me if you run across something that you'd like to see linked on the Weekend Splits.

Thanks to those who mentioned or linked to Half-Fast this past week, it's always greatly appreciated. Those whose links I found include:

• Fitness Fixation - A blog I just found and am going to have to spend more time reading.
• I Signed Up For This?!? - Despite the fact that she’s faster than me and lies on her blog, I still like Marcy.
• Sheesh - Another blog that’s new to me. So many blogs, so little time.
• A Marathon Leap - I always enjoy reading lifestudent’s posts and comments.
• Lawsons do Dallas - Amy posted a link to my blog on the Runner's World Forums.

Have a great weekend everyone. Don't forget to wish me a happy birthday in the comments, if you do it early enough in the day I might still be sober enough to read your well wishes.

Soccer > Running

Crunchy 'Nanas blogger and occasional Half-Fast commenter Nora recently had an article published on Complete Running about how soccer burns more fat and increases muscle mass more than running. This is of particular interest to me as I play soccer on a regular basis, and what better picture to use with this post than that of the most recognizable soccer player on the face of the planet.

For those of you who don't know who that is (hard to imagine) it's soccer star David Beckham and his wife Victoria (Posh Spice). Marcy has mentioned in the past that I need more pictures of cute guys on this blog and while I may disagree with her I suspect that my female readers would probably share her opinion. Hopefully this is something for everyone, and if Becks doesn't do it for you ladies, then I don't know who to post pictures of because come on... he almost does it for me.

Apparently a team of researchers at the University of Copenhagen conducted an experiment that featured 3 groups of men; a group that played soccer for 3 months, a group that ran, and a passive control group. As stated above, the group that played soccer burned more fat, and increased muscle mass more than either of the other groups. More details here. Incidentally if you ever have the opportunity to get paid to be in a scientific exercise experiment try to be part of the passive control group, because that's as close as you'll ever get to free money. Well, that and when the blind man next door asks me if I've got change for a $20, but there's less guilt involved in being part of the passive control group. Sorry, I'd love to walk with you and take the stairs but I'm under strict orders not to exercise, so I guess I'll wait for the elevator.

Speaking of less guilt, I've been counting my weekly soccer matches as "cross training" on my half marathon training schedule, but until this point I've felt like that was kind of cheating. I don't feel so guilty about that now. I guess sometimes it's just helpful to have someone else reaffirm things for you. Whenever I feel guilty about something I've learned that the first step to recovery is being able to forgive myself, and after that I tell myself "go ahead and do whatever you want, it's OK with me."

Oh, and by the way, DO NOT Google David Beckham without the safe search feature on. Or do, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Above picture found at With Leather, originally from the 'W' magazine photo shoot. Additional racier pictures from the shoot can be found here (although unfortunately there’s still no nudity).

Running With Celebrities

I received an e-mail from the Denver Marathon a couple of days ago inviting me to bid on the opportunity to run part of the Denver Marathon with a Denver "celebrity." Apparently 13 Denver "celebrities" will run 2 miles each to benefit a charity of their choosing. Let's take a look at the list so that you stop wondering why I keep using the "air quotes" when I say "celebrity."

• Bill Romanowski - Former Broncos Player
• Alex Smith - a cast member of MTV's Real World Denver
• Scott Elrod - a cast member on ABC's Men in Trees
• Jake Schroeder - lead singer of Opie Gone Bad
• Marni Rachich - "Peekaboo Screech" on the Denver Roller Dolls (you have to click that link, it's pretty high on the unintentionally funny scale.)
• Vic Lombardi - CBS4 sportscaster
• Maggie Ireland - Miss Colorado 2007 (pictured right)
• Chris Anthony - an extreme skier and star of 17 Warren Miller films

That is a pretty sad indictment of the celebrities we have here in the Denver area, I think I'm probably in the top 25. Anyway there is a clear winner in the bunch, and I'd like to ask for your donations so that I can run with... *drum roll please*... Miss Colorado 2007, Maggie Ireland. We have so much in common that we could talk about during our 2 miles together. For example, Maggie is a beauty queen, and I like to daydream about beauty queens. Maggie strongly holds to her beliefs that we can find optimism in the midst of adversity and I strongly hold to my beliefs that Maggie is a smokin' hottie.

If you possess an IQ in the double digit range then you've probably already noticed that there is something wrong with the above list, something other than the fact that they're playing it pretty fast and loose with the term "celebrity." The list only has 8 people on it, which means that there are six... no... four... several people who will be added at a later date. I assume that the race organizers are presently scouring the state for anyone who's remotely famous. Pretty soon the list will be completed and the last "celebrity" that's added will be that guy on his cell phone behind home plate at the Rockies game who's always on TV. If he turns it down, I'm next in line.

If you're so inclined you can view the full Maggie Ireland, Miss Colorado 2007 gallery.

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are Running

Believe it or not I do not have any interesting stories to regale you with. All of my runs recently have been without incident and I was at a loss for what to post to my blog today. Until I found this:

The above picture is being reported as Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel jogging together in the streets of Norway. Fascinating stuff, I know. But given the fact that I am otherwise at a loss for what to post today and the fact that I've long been looking for any kind of excuse to post pictures of Jessica Biel on my blog it will have to do for today. Granted it's not exactly a sexy picture but it's all I got. You see what I did there.

To be honest with you it doesn't look much like running or jogging for the purpose of exercise, Jessica is clutching a purse and appears to be wearing a sweater which is hardly something you'd wear to work out in and Justin... is Justin even in the picture?

I postulate that they were just running to the nearest internet café having heard that Vanilla had recently updated his blog, they're big fans you know. Come on guys post something in the comments so my readers know you're there. More likely they were rushing down to the adoption agency to place an order for some foreign born children, isn't that what celebrity couples do?

Here's my source, and I promise to get back on track with more running related posts soon.

Weekend Splits

Ali Landry ran a marathon. Yeee-Hawww!

If you’re not familiar with Weekend Splits then you’re really not paying attention. I explained it in a separate post just minutes ago mostly because I didn’t want to have to give an explanation for it every weekend when I post it.

The Running Blogfather recently gave us 25 Celebrities Who've Run A Marathon. The list includes Will Ferrell, William Baldwin and of course the lovely Ali Landry (pictured), although I doubt her marathon training consisted of Doritos. Speaking of eating Doritos all day long, Rosie O’Donnell is absent from the list. Must be an oversight? No?

Dean Karnazes ran for 24 hours on a treadmill above Times Square which is insane on so many different levels but he was doing it for Athletes for a Cure and to help Accelerade launch a new sports drink. Also see With Leather’s take on it. (More about With Leather momentarily).

Russ at Balancing BBQ and BQ (which is a great name for a blog by the way) gives us the 20 Running Commandments. There are 20? Awww man.

Friday was a big day for Half-Fast as I was mentioned on two other blogs. Many thanks to Matt Ufford, Editor of With Leather for mentioning Half-Fast in a post on Friday. Usually this site sees about 20 visitors a day but set a record on Friday with 542! SiteMeter tells me that roughly 95% of that increase was visitors referred from With Leather.
Thanks also to The science of Sports who gave Half-Fast a great review, even if they did fail to capitalize the 'F' in Fast. Jerks. I'm kidding of course but you'll notice that I did 'lowercase' their 's' - vengeance is mine! Mwaa haa haa haa! Enjoy the weekend everyone.

Fergie’s Running Again

I’ve commented on Fergie’s running attire in a previous post and I don’t want to get repetitive here, but for crying out loud I’m worried about tripping over that headphone cord. My guess is that Fergie is training for a marathon or possibly a half-marathon because you see a lot of these pictures of her and her oversize headphones and shades all over the celeb gossip blogs. I mean... someone told me that you can find these pictures all over the celeb gossip blogs... I don’t read celeb gossip blogs... I’m too busy watching daytime television for that.

Quick observation: How bad would it suck to have the paparazzi driving along side you taking pictures every time you went running? Every time you stopped to walk, every time you tripped, every time you gave a quick farmer’s blow, every time you had to pull your underwear out of your crack... I’ve said too much haven’t I?

Anyway, if Fergie is training for some kind of race then I wish her the best. It’s easy to sit behind my computer and make fun of celebrities, and I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy sitting here, making fun of others.

Picture "found" at Skinny Celebrities and many thanks to Bolder in Boulder who gave me the 'farmer's blow' picture even though he probably doesn't know it yet.

Fergie is R-U-N-N-I-N-G

Spelling aficionado F to the E to the R to the G-I-E gives us a great demonstration here of how not to run. She just looks uncomfortable, like she’s had to stop and walk for the sixteenth time to untangle herself. I understand the need for the iPod strapped to your arm and the fuel belt makes sense, and if you’re a celeb you absolutely can’t leave without your Jackie-O sunglasses but at some point these items are hindering more than they are helping. It doesn't even look sunny.

Maybe I’m just not hip to the latest fashions, maybe “oversize” is the new black. Oversize headphones, oversize shades, oversize headphone cord (seriously, Rocky could jump-rope with that thing). And the headphones?!? I know I already said that, but Gary Powers was wearing smaller headphones aboard his U-2 when the Soviets captured him in 1960.

Maybe she’d be better off “up in the gym just working on her fitness”, that way she could have the water bottle in the nice little cup holder they provide on the treadmill and crank up the stereo so she doesn’t have to wear headphones that, in this humble commentator’s opinion look S to the T to the U to the P-I-D.

Picture and story originally found on www.wwtdd.com