Get off my treadmill! Act 1

This is a two part story because it got kind of long when I was writing it and I was incapable of editing it down, a sure sign of a good writer.

As you know from my previous post I was in South Dakota last week for a little R & R but I packed some workout clothes so that I could squeeze in some running. The hotel website promised a fitness center, which if you travel a lot you know can be hit or miss. In this case the fitness center was a standard hotel room which had been filled with as much exercise equipment as they could squeeze in there along with a few TVs. It consisted of a treadmill, an elliptical, a recumbent bike (who uses those things?) a small sit up bench, a rack of dumbbells and a rack of towels. Frankly, I was happy with the set up as I never know what to expect when I’m at a hotel. My only concern with just one treadmill was that someone else would be using it when I was ready to run, it was a concern that proved to be valid.

On Friday morning we were on our way back from breakfast when I decided to stop by the “fitness center” to see if anyone was using the treadmill. If not, I planned to rush back to the room, change into workout clothes and then go claim the treadmill for a few quick miles. (Yes, “quick” should have probably been in quotes too.) As I entered the room I could hear the familiar thud of footsteps on a treadmill. Crap. Sure enough someone was using it, however that someone was a slightly chubby kid who I was sure was just screwing around and not actually working out. My assumption was not based on his weight but on the fact that he was running on the treadmill barefoot and in jeans. Jeans! As I left the fitness center I couldn’t help but notice that the sign on the door said “Under 18 must be accompanied by an adult” and I’m guessing this kid was roughly 8 years shy.

As I was changing back in our room I contemplated what to do if the kid was still on my treadmill when I got back down there. I figured my options were: 1. Anonymous tip to hotel security that a minor was using the fitness center unsupervised. 2. Go and use the elliptical while rolling my eyes and making disapproving faces at the kid until he felt uncomfortable enough to leave. 3. Be mature and say something along the lines of “Hey if you’re not really using the treadmill do you mind if I get in a few miles?” Mature and I don’t often get put in the same sentence like that though so I wasn’t going with option 3 and option 1 was too much of a prick thing to do, even for me so I settled on option number 2.

I walked back down to the fitness center practicing my disapproving stares and disgusted sighs only to find that the kid had already left. I have to admit I was a little disappointed that I was not going to get to use my new battery of expressions, but resolved to use some of my best ones on my family during the remainder of the trip. (I’m such a joy to be around!) My disappointment was short-lived however as the kid soon returned - without adult supervision!!!

I’ll post Act 2 in a little while, wherein the kid returns and makes an ass of himself, I respond by making an ass of myself and in general everyone’s an ass. It was not my finest moment.

I’m Back

What do you mean you didn’t notice that I was gone? You mean to tell me that you don’t hang on my every word? You don’t sit there helplessly staring at the computer screen waiting for a Half-Fast post, completely unable to do anything productive until you’ve heard what I have to say? I am deeply offended.

As you may have guessed from the picture above, my family and I spent most of last week in South Dakota admiring mountain carvings and buying up as much of South Dakota’s supply of polished rocks as my children’s little hands could carry. I tried to talk them out of the polished rocks but they had their own money to spend and when you’re six years old bagfuls of polished rocks sound like a wise investment. I would have told you all that I was going to be gone but I really thought that I was going to find time to post while I was away. Honestly I did have the time to post but just didn’t feel like it, plus I’ve got a really good story to tell you that deserves my full attention and a half-fast post from a hotel room just wouldn’t do it justice. I’ll get to the story tomorrow but for now just know that we had a good trip. We visited Mount Rushmore (very impressive) and Crazy Horse (less impressive, at least for now) and did you know that they carve those mountains with dynamite? I cannot begin to tell you how disappointed I was to learn that those are not natural rock formations! We also spent a lot of time at our hotel pool, which the kids loved because it had a waterslide. I totally owned that waterslide. I was like the German luge team at the Olympics. I would get to the top and grab the handle bar above the slide entrance, then I would rock back and forth counting out “eins, zwei, drei” and then I would fling my body down the tube without a thought for my own personal safety. That’s how you have to do it if you want to be the best in the world. The key to riding a waterslide is reducing your friction on the slide so you have to arch up and ride down on your shoulder blades and heels. None of the other kids were achieving the dangerous kind of speeds that I was or creating even one tenth of splash at the bottom that I was. They just could not match my derring-do. Candis and I were both so happy that the hotel had a water slide, you know, for the kids.

Vegas Baby!

Right now I’m typing this on my blackberry while sitting next to the Planet Hollywood pool in Las Vegas. My ever-supportive wife is swimming laps in an attempt to off-set the all you can eat sea food buffet we ate at the Rio last night and in preparation for the all you can eat breakfast buffet at the Bellagio that we’re planning tomorrow morning. I swam a couple of laps before deciding that doing cannonballs was more fun. I also spent some time at the bottom of the deep end pretending that I was an astronaut in a weightless environment and I have to tell you that peeing in outer space is not as tough as I’d heard.

We’re here in Vegas under the guise of our 10 year anniversary indulging in various debaucheries like eating fried stuff with cheese, and ordering our coffee with whole milk (gasp!), and ingesting dessert after every meal (yes, even breakfast), and also, not running at all. It’s 107 degrees so running is out of the question, unless you are outside your mind. I planned on swimming a little to maintain my current fitness level, and now that that’s out of the way, it’s onto the buffets. Maybe 2 laps isn’t enough to “maintain fitness” but that’s OK. I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge, well except for that one time when that chick wanted to arm wrestle, but that wasn’t so much “backing” away as it was turning and running. I’m telling you I thought she was challenging me to a footrace.

Anyway, my challenge is going to be re-gaining the fitness that I’ve lost during this time in Vegas and getting myself ready for the Georgetown Half Marathon that’s coming up. I like to do things the hard way, which is why I’ve run a total of 10 miles in the last two weeks and jumped on the Chris Farley diet (may he rest in funny peace).

Sorry if this post is kind of short but I’m typing it on a freaking blackberry and it’s been 20 minutes since I ate something bad for me so I need to rectify that immediately. In the meantime, here are some quick observations before I go upload this to my laptop and post it for your reading pleasure. Things that are different in Vegas: The law of escalators does not apply, maybe it evaporated in the heat with the impetus to wear appropriate clothing. Stand to the right, walk on the left, and lady you are way too big to be wearing a dress that short. Seriously, there were butt cheeks hanging down like the classy draperies that adorn our hotel windows.

Personal Running Log

I was on vacation this week through May 4th so this was similar to an Easy Week.

Week of 4/29 through 5/5
Mon 4/30 - Easy Run 2.5 miles @ 11 min/mile pace
Wed 5/2 - Easy Run 4.2 miles @ 10 min/mile pace (lots of hills)
Thu 5/3 - Easy Run 4.3 miles @ 10 min/mile pace
Sun 5/6 - Long Run 10 miles @ 10 min/mile pace
Total Miles: 21 miles

My training plan is from the Runners World Smart Coach.

Happiness is a Waffle Sandwich

On my Sunday morning run I jogged past this quaint little hole-in-the-wall ice cream parlor called Lighthouse Ice Cream. “Neat” I thought (because when I talk to myself I like to use expressions that haven't been cool since the 50s), “I’ll have to check that out.” So later that night I went back to the Lighthouse Ice Cream parlor and made a mistake that is sure to cost me 10 – 15lbs and a good 4 minutes in my next 10K.

My mistake: I ordered the Hot Waffle Ice Cream sandwich, and it was everything that I hoped it could be. Now I’d never even heard of a Hot Waffle Ice Cream sandwich prior to this, but I thought to myself “shucks, that sounds like it might be good.” Good doesn’t even begin to describe it. Since Sunday I’ve already been back there to eat it again and I’m planning on going back at least 2 more times before we leave. In short I’m going to have to put in some serious miles during this vacation in order to stay in shape.

It was at least four times as good as it sounds like it should be, and surprisingly only 23% as messy as it sounds like it should be. They should try giving those things to crack addicts to get them off the smack because I read somewhere that drug rehab is only 38% effective, but Hot Waffle Ice Cream sandwiches are over 98% effective according to my research.

As I re-read this blog entry for editing purposes (yes, believe it or not I do re-read and edit before posting) I started to think “well golly gee wilikers, what does this have to do with running?” Nutrition related? That’s pushing it. I found it during a run? A little weak. Motivation to run more? Perhaps, but essentially it come down to this: It’s my blog and this is what I’m posting today!

San Diego? More like Sandy-Lame-O!

Sorry. San Diego’s great, but I just had to title this post with the quote from Madagascar that my two boys have been saying ALL DAY LONG. It was cute, even funny the first couple hundred times. Editor’s note: I think this reference to Madagascar gives me the perfect opportunity to use the “if you have any poo fling it now” tag for the second time which is quite an accomplishment for a running blog that has been in existence for less than a month. Thanks to those of you who left well wishes on my previous entry instructing me to enjoy my vacation. I am.

I found my motivation to run on vacation on Saturday morning. I had a long run of 10 miles Friday morning before we left for the airport so Saturday was my rest day. I was sitting out on the patio admiring the ocean view enjoying a bowl of Reese's Peanut Putter Cup cereal (usually I’m a fruit and oatmeal kind of guy for breakfast, but I’m on vacation so screw that) when I was rudely interrupted. First by my wife laughing at the back of my cereal box which had a list of 18 things to do before you turn 18, eight of which I still have not accomplished. Secondly by what was probably close to 200 runners running up the street outside that separates the house from the ocean. Here I am eating my high-calorie, low-energy, breakfast sitting on my butt and that was my wake up call, my figurative two by four to the cranium. So I managed to get in a 4 mile easy run on Sunday morning.

I also discovered from my June ’06 Runners World magazine that the San Diego Track Club meets on Thursdays at the runners bathroom in Mission Bay. I may head over there and see if I can run with them, so if you’re a member of the SDTC and you are reading this blog (long shot I know), leave me a comment and let me know when and where you run.

Personal Note to our house and dog sitter: I'm sorry I left the alarm clock set to go off at 6 in the morning at a DEFCON 5 alert level. I swear I do this to her every time we go somewhere. If you’re looking for a big screen TV or a nice treadmill she’ll probably give you the pair for $14 just out of spite.

Personal Running Log

A little different schedule this week since I'm on vacation.

Week of 4/22 through 4/28
Wed 4/25 - Speedwork 7 miles total inc 6x800 meters @ 8:00 min/mile pace w/ 400 meter jogs
Fri 4/27 - Long Run 10 miles @ 10 min/mile pace
Sun 4/29 - Easy Run 4 miles @ 11 min/mile pace
Total Miles: 21 miles

My training plan is from the Runners World Smart Coach.

Site News

Just a couple of housekeeping items. First, I've added some additional links on the right side of this blog, it's not comprehensive by any means and I'm sure that I'll be adding more to it in the future as I discover more blogs.

If you'd like me to consider posting a link to your blog then write a more interesting blog.

Second, I will be leaving on vacation tomorrow and posting may be sporadic at best over the next week. Hopefully I'll be able to log in and update you all about what it's like to run in San Diego (which is where I'm headed), but posting to your blog whilst on vacation might just put me into the super-geek category and I'm not sure that I'm ready to go there just yet. Besides, I really can't guarantee the quality of my writing when I'm sitting by a pool sipping an umbrella clad banana daiquiri pounding Guinness and Jager Bombs.