Friday Inspiration

I received an e-mail a few days ago from Kate who is trying to raise awareness for some volcano race (Mt. Cameroon Race for Hope), and she asked if I’d consider posting about it. Well let me tell you that I was flattered to be considered worthy of such a request, and then I noticed that 21st Century Mom had already posted about it. That means that Kate had e-mailed her about it too, and if she e-mailed 21st Century Mom then she probably e-mailed a lot of running bloggers (show of hands in the comments). I’m not going to lie to you. I was a little hurt. But me being the nice guy that I am, I decided to post about it anyway.

I watched the YouTube, read the article, visited the website and then realized that it was extremely inspirational stuff, the kind of stuff that really doesn’t belong at Half-Fast at all. Normally I like to whine about things, complain about shoes, or generally make fun of people and circumstances, but there will be none of that today. OK, I’m sure there will be some of that, but there will also be a little inspiration mixed in. First, check out the video.



Crazy stuff huh? 50 degree temperature swings, 10,000 foot vertical ascent and descent, loose volcanic rock, and the winners take home the equivalent of 4 years salary. Granted the average salary in Cameroon is probably like $37 but still, it makes your complaining about the conditions that you run in seem a little inconsequential, no? Anyway, you should go and check out the website at http://www.volcanicsprint.com/ and if you want to see the full movie, which is no doubt ten times more motivational than the trailer, then you can buy a copy of the DVD on the site. In fact you should buy a copy of the DVD, if you’re into that kind of motivational, inspirational stuff, which I’m not. I much prefer to sit down and watch a movie that doesn’t make me want to go achieve something great, that doesn’t make me want to get out and run 20 miles. But I imagine some of you might be into something like that.

Me, I prefer to watch your standard Hollywood movie that begins with our hero being the victim of some unnecessary gratuitous violence – it’s what made him the hero that he is today. Then he finds love in the arms of a beautiful woman only to have some romantic misunderstanding that neither of them bothers to even bring up with the other, until disaster strikes! Why, the same villain/evil circumstance that started the movie is now threatening to take away our hero’s true love. Will he be able to overcome the painful childhood memories and save his true love? Or will he run with his tail between his legs? You’ll never guess what happens, so I’ll just tell you. He overcomes! He overcomes! He conquers! And just when he turns to walk away his true love confesses her true love for him! The romantic misunderstanding is solved, and just when you think it couldn’t be any more perfect they cut to the wedding scene or the scene of our hero reading a book to the pregnant belly of his true love.

Or I could watch something original, something true... hmm... tough decision.

A Request for Garmin

Whenever a gift giving occasion comes along, multitudes of husbands go and ask their wives what they should buy for them, but not me. Oh no. I used to do that until I learned my lesson. Now when one of those times comes around where I’m supposed to buy my wife a gift, like Valentine’s Day, or her birthday, or Tuesday, I already know what I’m going to get her. How? I pay attention. This earth-shattering departure from societal norms is one of the things that makes me a freakin’ awesome husband, but before you go heaping praise on me, let me explain how this radical new way came to be. (Ladies, take notes.)

Every time I asked my wife what gift she wanted, she’d come up with something that would be perfect for her. “Oooooh,” she’d say, “I really want a large capacity washing machine that becomes a dryer when the wash cycle is over and then dries the clothes in a wrinkle free manor.”
“That sounds really cool,” I’d answer, “where did you see it?”
That’s when the other shoe would drop. “Oh, I’ve never actually seen one anywhere. I just conjured it up in my head so that you’d be miserable as you wandered from store to store asking pimple-faced clerks where the washer-dryers were located only to find that they had misunderstood the question...” OK that’s not what she said, but that’s what I heard.

Naturally, I don’t ask my wife for ideas anymore. It’s much easier to painstakingly pay attention to her when she talks and then go buy her the things she desires that I know actually exist. Unfortunately this strategy doesn’t stop her from occasionally telling me about made up stuff that she really, really wants.

Such was the case this past week, when she told me that she wanted a Garmin of her own. Oh, but not just any Garmin. No, no. She wanted a Garmin that was a pair of sunglasses instead of a watch, and not cheap, crappy sunglasses either. Stylish ones. Then instead of going through the agony of having to look down to see your pace, the sunglasses would just flash that information up on the inside of the lenses, kind of like a Heads-Up-Display (HUD). And hey! Let’s not stop there, the sunglasses should also play MP3s and you should have the option to hear your pace, distance, time etc. through the earpieces.

It’s a fantastic idea, but I don’t think they actually exist. So if someone at Garmin is reading this post, then I’d like to suggest the Garmin Sunrunner 505 Sunglasses (pictured above, artist’s impression). If someone over there could get on this idea pronto, I know my wife would appreciate it. Would it be asking too much to have a pair of the 505s over-nighted to my office so that I could give them to my wife for Valentine’s Day?

NOTE: If no one at Garmin has thought of this yet, then they are welcome pay me royalties for this idea.

There Once Was a Man from Nantucket...

Just a short post today as I have another article up over at CRN. For some reason I was inspired to try my hand at limericks. I don’t know why.

There once was a runner called Half-Fast,
Whose limericks were quite unsurpassed.
He gave it a try,
Without knowing why,
And discovered he was having a blast.

Now Half-Fast had a pair of Mizunos,
And he frequently lamented their woes.
When the snow came in dumps,
They turned into pumps,
And when you’re trying to run, that blows!

The Mizunos ad group must be full of deceit,
But I suppose it would be hard to compete,
If you played a fair game,
And your slogan became;
“It’s like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet!”

Now I sent them off to Reuse-A-Shoe,
Without even bidding them a formal adieu,
Then I told them a lie,
With a gleam in my eye,
“This hurts me much more than it hurts you.”

If you don’t know what the Reuse-A-Shoe program is then you should go and read my post over at CRN, Your Right to Shoes. Writing that article is partially what inspired this post. Do you think that Mizuno will be contacting me to offer me free shoes anytime soon?

The Difference Between Men and Women

On Sunday my wife and I decided to run together, but since we have two young kids she jumped on the treadmill and I went outside in the beautiful sunshine. I got to go outside on account of my awesome Rock-Paper-Scissors (Rochambeau) skills and I'll let you all in on the secret to always winning at RPS. You should always throw the secret 4th option: Fire. (Note: the Fire move is not officially recognized by the World RPS Society.)

When I returned home from my run in the beautiful outdoors I went down into the unfinished basement to check on my wife. She too was done with her run, had taken off her shoes and socks and was walking around the basement picking up toys. I immediately noticed that her foot was bleeding. “Do you realize that you’re bleeding all over the basement floor?” I asked, hoping that she didn’t catch that the concern in my voice was clearly for the basement floor. She stopped and looked at the floor around her. Sure enough there were bloody footprints all around, revealing exactly where she’d been since she took off her shoes and socks. It was almost cartoon-like.

It became even more cartoon-like when she shifted her weight to her bloody right foot and picked up her left foot to look at it. “Uhhhh, I’m pretty sure those are right footprints on the floor Babe,” I said as she stood balanced on her right foot in a puddle of blood. “How much blood did you lose?” I asked, my concern starting to switch away from the unfinished basement floor.

All of a sudden it occurred to us both at the same time that maybe she’d lost her first toenail. “Hey, check your toenails” I said excitedly. We both eagerly looked at her toenails to see if one had come off and even tugged at a few that were caked with blood but alas, no luck. All 5 toenails were securely in place. The only thing we could find was what looked like a very small blister that had rubbed off.

We went back and looked at her shoes and socks and not surprisingly the toe of the right shoe was stained a deep crimson red color. I’m not sure how she missed it when she took her shoes off but somehow she managed it. This is where I guess men and women are different. I saw the blood on the shoe and was overcome with jealousy. I looked down at my nice new white Asics and wished I could see some evidence there that would prove I could run through pain. My wife saw her nice new white Asics stained with blood and was disappointed that they were ruined.

After we had both showered and changed it occurred to me that I needed to post about this and I grabbed my camera to capture what would have surely been a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of the bloody shoe. I found the shoe clean and drying in the tub. Ruined! If this would have happened to me there would be multiple pictures accompanying this post. I would have told the story to everyone I met on the trail and it would have been bigger and better every time. “You see that. That’s not Gatorade that I spilled on my foot, that’s blood. My blood. It’s from this one time that I lost a toe, not a toenail, a toe. I guess I was going too fast or something.” Also, I would have definitely written “K ALCS” somewhere on the shoe.

Shave Your 5K Suggestions

I’ve already written way too much about the Shave Your 5K Challenge so it’s probably the last thing you want to hear me drone on about in today’s post. But look, here I go, typing away, not caring. I’m forging ahead with some dos and don’ts for those of you participating in the SY5K Challenge.

• Do get faster this year.
• Don’t get slower this year.
• Do use the CRN Race Calendar. It’s a really useful calendar that will allow everyone to see when you’re going to be racing and I strongly urge you to use it. If you include “SY5K” somewhere in the title of your race entry I will even be able to create a special feed or widget for the contest. I’m not sure yet if I will do that, but I could do it and that’s comforting to know.
• Do pick a flat 5K to race for your smooth time.
• Don’t accidentally pick a 5 mile race.
• Don’t forgo entering the contest because you are training for a longer distance. I’ve seen several people mention that their goal this year is specifically to run longer distances not to get faster. I was guilty of the inverse of this at the beginning of the year but getting faster and getting longer are not mutually exclusive. Last year I trained to run a half marathon which was a longer distance than I had ever run before, the end result of my training was not only that I could run more miles than before but also that I was faster than before. Your marathon or half marathon training will also benefit your 5K time, in fact in my most recent copy of Runner’s World magazine they stated that “runners training for a longer event, like a half or full marathon, can use 5-Ks in place of speedwork... It's a good way to race into shape.”
• Don’t forget to e-mail me your results.
• Do include all pertinent information in your e-mail.
• Do feel free to talk trash to other participants.
• Do pick a 5K with a good post race spread.
• Don’t get “chicked,” unless you are a girl in which case…
• Do “chick” some poor guy when you kick to the finish.
• Don’t be faster than me. That’s just rude.

When Blogging Pays Off

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about CLIF Bar’s new recovery drink, a 2003 vintage Cabern-ade Sauvignon. In that post I linked to the CLIF Bar Family Winery and somehow the folks over at CLIF Bar Family Wines found Half-Fast and my post about their wine. I received an e-mail from their Brand Manager telling me that they enjoyed my blog, and asking for an address so that they could send me some free wine and CLIF Bars. How freakin’ cool is that? It’s cooler than finding out your official race time is several minutes faster than what your watch said at the finish.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more eager to respond to an e-mail in my life, I hastily sent them my name and address. I crossed my fingers that they weren’t just looking for an address to send the Cease & Desist Letter to and waited for my wine. The package came on Friday morning, which is handy because that’s when I like to start my weekend drinking. Inside the box I found: 4 CLIF Bars, 2 packages of CLIF SHOT BLOKS (Piña Colada flavor and Margarita w/Salt flavor - do these people know me or what?), 1 bottle of The Climber 2006 White Wine Blend, 1 bottle of The Climber 2004 North Coast Red Wine, 1 hand written thank you note, and 0 Cease & Desist Letters!

Needless to say, I love the CLIF Bar organization! I may even go buy a case of CLIF Bars to send to the winners of the Shave Your 5K Challenge. I would send the winner a bottle of their wine, but the odds of me buying liquor and not drinking it myself are slim and nil.

Many, many thanks to the owners and staff at the CLIF Bar Family Winery, who I’ve heard are all elite runners, members of Mensa, as beautiful as models, and spend their free time ending world hunger, curing cancer, stamping out oppression wherever they find it, and ridding the world of road rage by always practicing safe driving habits. They have won themselves a loyal customer, despite the fact that they did not like my suggestion for adding a sport nozzle in place of a cork.



Above are a few pictures of the goodies they sent me just to prove I’m not making this up. All that, just because I mentioned how much I enjoyed their wine... Have I mentioned how much I love my new Asics? Have I told you how great my Under Armor cold gear shirts are? Hello? *knocks on monitor* Hello? Is anyone from Asics or Under Armor reading this?

For more about how awesome the CLIF Bar organization is, check out what they’re doing here.

Personal Running Log - January 2008

Date	Route	Type	Distance	Time	Pace
1/30/2008	4 Miles Out & Back	Easy	4 Mi	36:35	9:09
1/28/2008	5 Miles Out & Back	Easy	5 Mi	45:47	9:10
1/26/2008	Misc Route	Long	9 Mi	1:28:02	9:47
1/20/2008	Misc Route	Easy	3.57 Mi	37:41	10:34
1/19/2008	Misc Route	Easy	4 Mi	42:14	10:34
1/16/2008	Home Treadmill	Easy	5 Mi	48:50	9:46
1/14/2008	5 Miles Out & Back	Easy	5 Mi	47:50	9:34
1/12/2008	Misc Route	Long	9.23 Mi	1:28:55	9:39
1/10/2008	Misc Route	Easy	3.77 Mi	37:41	10:00
1/8/2008	4 Miles Out & Back	Tempo	4 Mi	34:23	8:36
1/7/2008	5 Miles Out & Back	Easy	5 Mi	48:14	9:39
1/5/2008	Misc Route	Long	9 Mi	1:29:03	9:54
Totals: Distance: 66.6 miles Total Time: 10:45:15

Early Morning Angry Run

You can always run. That’s what I love about it. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a bad mood, if you’re stressed out from work, or if you’re feeling fantastic, you can always lace ‘em up and get out there. If you haven’t figured it out yet I’m a Patriots fan, which means that my weekend ended on a sour note last night.

This morning I woke up early (still not sure how I managed that) and pounded out 5 angry miles. I took out my frustrations on the sidewalks, on the hills and on my legs. It felt good. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good angry run, and the lingering memories of last night’s game combined with the fact that it was Monday morning and I had to go to work all helped me push myself a little harder.

It was a good run. It was good to be out there running in the dark, alone with my thoughts, and I felt much better when I returned home. Of course now I’m here at work and everyone’s a comedian. Everyone has a funny comment about the game that they’ve just been dying to tell me since the final second ticked off the clock, was put back on the clock and then ticked off the clock again. You can only have so many pretend conversations with the dial tone when people come by your office, and they’re usually undeterred anyway. By the time this day is over I might be in for another angry run tonight. Ahhhh, coworkers: You can’t live with ‘em, you can’t strangle ‘em with a phone cord. Right? I’m not allowed to do that am I? Because that might make me feel better than another angry run would.

Weekend Splits - Super Bowl Weekend!

Weekend Splits is my recap of things that I found interesting or humorous over the past week. If you have a submission for the weekend splits e-mail me.

Enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday tomorrow, but whatever you do please don’t be this stupid - keep your beer on ice or in a refrigerator! Yeesh! Think before you act people!

Top billing in the Weekend Splits this week goes to... drum-roll please... ME! I love me some me! In case you missed it, I had another post go up at Complete Running on Tuesday in which I talked about Running at Altitude. Head on over and read it because you’re hurting my feelings if you don’t.

RazZDoodle who

• never met
• a bullet point
• he didn’t like
• had a great post titled Morning Insanity. In it he describes the insanity of his morning run (I’ll bet you didn’t see that coming) and also imagines what others are thinking when they see him out running in the cold early morning. Even his 4 year old told him he was crazy.

Laura has a post up over at Absolut(ly) Fit called You Know You’re a Crazy Running Blogger When... #1 and I’m convinced that it’s the start of a good series. However, isn’t it a bit redundant to put “Crazy” in front of “Running Blogger?”

Sister Skinny gives us Twenty Ways Getting out of Debt is Like Losing Weight. The easiest way to get out of debt is to win the lottery or to marry into a rich family. Too bad marrying into a skinny family doesn’t have the same effect. Anyone know where I can purchase tickets for the weight lottery?

Random Non-Running Related Video of the Week
This week’s video features Damien Walters who is a member of the British Olympic Trampoline Gymnastics Team. He’s got some ridiculous moves.

Presumably there are clips of him karate kicking a punching bag and twirling a sword around to prevent me from saying things like “gymnastics is for sissies,” or “what a pansy,” but I’m not scared of him. My fists are considered deadly weapons in all of the 48 contiguous states, I’m not even allowed to take them on airplanes anymore.

Video from FanIQ via With Leather.

Have a great weekend everyone! Happy Running. Go Patriots!

Random Friday Musings

On Wednesday I was going to go running after I got home from work because I’d been up late the previous night and elected ‘the pillow’ over ‘the morning run.’ Balloting was done by snooze button. Final vote: Pillow 9 – Morning Run 0. When I got home from work it was below freezing outside and I had already made up my mind that I was going to run on the treadmill. I was only scheduled for an easy 4 miler and I was in no mood to be cold. Then something happened.

It began snowing. All of a sudden I knew I needed to be out running in it. I don’t know why I needed to, I just did. Maybe because I knew it would make me look hardcore, maybe just to show the weather that I wasn’t scared of it. Does anyone else ever get motivated to go running because of worse weather? Maybe this is one of the addictions that I should have warned new runners about.

For those of you who are less observant, I’ve added a Shave Your 5K tab at the top of the page. Right now it just links to the Shave Your 5K post but pretty soon it will link to a table of everyone’s stubble times so that you can see how they’re doing. I’ll have some more announcements about this in the next week or two.

I went running this morning and almost forgot to put on something reflective. It would have been tragically ironic if I’d have been hit by a car after my post on Wednesday, not to mention the hassle it would have caused some poor motorist. Alanis Morissette could have written a song about it.