Back to FIRST

As I prepare for the Bolder Boulder 10k on Memorial Day I am finally getting back on an official training plan. I’m going to be using the FIRST plan and will be doing some of the P90X workouts on my cross training days. You may remember that I had been doing P90X as part of my off season regimen. Or maybe you don’t remember since I notice that none of you have even bothered to ask how it went. Maybe that’s because you can tell how ripped I am just by reading the words that I type onto this blog, you can tell how quick and strong my fingers were when they typed these sentences and realized that obviously P90X had worked and obviously there was no need to ask how it was going because I’m so obviously ripped. Obviously. Or maybe it doesn’t seem like it’s been 90 days yet, but that’s only because the post where I originally mentioned P90X is still on the front page of this blog. Go ahead and look, I’ll wait while you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page (no, I won’t actually wait, that would be silly not to mention a logistical nightmare). Or maybe you haven’t asked because you just don’t care about me like I care about you - by the way I care about you based on your worth to me, which Google AdSense tells me is roughly $0.06 per page view, which is why I haven’t asked YOU how YOUR training has been going.

Regardless of the fact that you haven’t asked I’m going to give you my thoughts on P90X (although you kind of tacitly asked by coming here unsolicited). P90X is a tough and challenging workout and you definitely see results with this program, but I prefer to focus on the negatives (it’s what makes me who I am) so here are some of the problems with the P90X program:

I am a free man.
It doesn’t make you do the workouts. I still have to choose to work out, which is kind of a problem for me because it turns out that I’m not very good at choosing to spend an hour sweating to a home workout DVD. What I really need is for someone to take me captive and actually force me to work out on a daily basis.

I figured out what the 90 means.
I started out doing pretty well. You may remember that I had intended to mix running in with the P90X workouts and initially I was successful with this. If you don’t remember that then you can scroll all the way back down and read the post again while I pretend that I’m waiting for you. So I was adding two runs a week to the six P90X workouts which was a shock to the system for someone who was used to running three or four times a week and doing little else. Eight workouts a week means no rest days even if you subscribe to Paul McCartney math. Anyway, there was no way I was going to survive eight workouts a week for 90 days. 90 days? This program is three full months? What kind of sick masochist came up with this?

I outsmart P90X.
I pretty quickly figured out which workouts were considered ‘strength training’ and which ones were ‘cardio.’ (Note to anyone considering the P90X program: the CardioX DVD is cardio.) This created a situation where I was able to rationalize (because I’m so smart) which workouts could be replaced by running which also happens to be a form of cardio. Pretty soon I had the P90X schedule down to three or four workouts a week because I was also running, only I wasn’t running. You see, I kind of stopped running on account of all the time I was putting in on the six P90X workouts, but I had (cleverly) pared down the P90X schedule to make room for the running which then turned out to be superfluous. I don’t expect you all to understand this because it takes a special kind of circular logic that only I possess, but just trust me when I tell you that it’s brilliant, bordering on genius.

I disagree with the nutrition plan.
A nutrition plan? Are you kidding me? I have to be careful about what I eat too? I thought that this workout was X-treme? If it’s so extreme why do I have to watch what I eat? Why can’t someone come up with a workout so extreme that I don’t have to watch what I eat? If the fire is hot enough anything will burn, even Big Macs.*

For the most part I liked the P90X program, which is why I’m incorporating some of the workouts into my training. Time (i.e. race results) will tell whether it has helped me or not. For a better review of P90X you can visit The Great Fitness Experiment because Charlotte is not smart enough to realize that you don’t have to do all of the workouts every week and so she did them all and in a completely unrelated turn of fortune managed to achieve better results than I did. Plus Charlotte always manages to get fantastic images for her posts and her P90X review is no different, I don’t want to ruin it for you but it does feature MacGyver.

*Quote stolen from that one famous book about a runner.

Off Season Regimen

It’s the offseason. Not just for running but apparently for posting too. This is the time of year when my running usually takes a backseat to indulging my offseason hobbies of cookie eating and eggnog spiking. Last year I was unable to fully enjoy those hobbies because I was in the middle of training for a marathon but this year my plan to get back on the cookie wagon is in full swing.

In order to impede my poor eating habits I’ve also been doing a lot of cross training this winter in the form of P90X. You’ve probably seen the ads for it all over the place and now that I’ve mentioned it in a post it will probably show up in the ads here too. I’ve never been good at cross training because I’ve never really enjoyed it all that much, and therefore I’ve never stuck to it for more than a few weeks. To be honest I’d rather just go run than spend my time lifting weights or doing yoga or whatever else it is that you do for cross training, but P90X has been different. I actually enjoy doing it.

One of the reasons for doing P90X is so that I can start to look more like the cover models on Runner’s World magazine. I’ve often made mention on this blog of my chiseled Pecs and my rippling abs and it would be kind of cool if one of those things were actually true. Maybe then I could get on the cover of RW, I’d even be willing to wax my chest to help make it happen. Ironically, my quest to look more like a RW runner has led to me running less frequently (as little as twice a week) and doing more cross training, but it’s the offseason so I’m OK with that.

Site Note
Sorry about the lack of posting lately. I’ve been struggling to find the motivation to write something on a regular basis, but I’d like to get back to it because it’s a cathartic exercise for me. I’ll have a year in review post coming up next week that you don’t want to miss. If you’ve been following my race results this year then you know that there are going to be a lot of excuses. A. LOT.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukah or whatever it is that you celebrate in the winter season that allows you to eat stupid amounts of fatty foods. The winter solstice has passed and that means that Spring (and racing season) is practically here!

Cross Training, It’s Not For Everyone

For some time now I’ve been using the FIRST plan to prepare for upcoming races and one of the essential elements of the FIRST plan is cross training. Since you only run 3 days a week, you have to do cross training 2 - 3 times a week in order to maintain fitness. After I realized that cross training didn’t mean training while you were angry I quickly learned that I hate cross training the way that A-Rod hates hitting in the postseason. I’ve tried everything to get myself to be more committed to cross training but nothing ever sticks. I tried jumping rope, but I sucked at it. I tried biking, but it made my butt sore. I tried various strength training programs, I tried Wii Fit, I tried spinning, I tried the 100 pushup challenge, I tried lifting weights, I even once tried doing some chores around the house, but just like everything else it didn’t take. I tried just about everything with the exception of Yoga (that post was written by my wife, hosers). I tried sitting there with my thumbs up my butt (maybe that’s why my butt was sore?). I tried Wii Mario Kart, I even tried lounging on the couch watching sports. That one actually took, but it turns out it doesn’t count as cross training. For a second I thought we had a winner.

I’ve finally found something that is going to work and I’m happy to be able to tell you that from now on when I have a cross training day in between running days the thing that I’m going to do is. . . *drumroll please* . . . more running. The FIRST plan actually allows for this, stating that you can “either cross-train or complete easy runs on other days of the week.” I’m not sure why it has never occurred to me in the past to do an easy run on my off days, it’s probably due to all those head injuries. This new form of “cross training” also has the added benefit of increasing my weekly mileage. You may remember (unless you too have a long history of severe concussions) that I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago confessing that I had run 12 miles over a 2 week span. Last week with my new “cross training” I logged 26 miles.

The truth is I enjoy running more than any of those other things that I mentioned above (well, except for lounging and watching sports) so why am I looking for something else to do for exercise? It makes about as much sense as the pronunciation of Coach Mike Krzyzewski’s last name (pronounced shah - shef - skee). From now on when my training schedule calls for a cross training day I’m lacing ‘em up and going out for an easy 3 or 4 mile run. Of course there’s always the possibility that this added mileage will lead to a post in the not too distant future talking about my new &%$#ing overuse injury, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take because good heavens man, I’ve got to try something. Besides, as my wife likes to remind me, “failing is funnier.”

P.S. Sorry I didn’t post yesterday and made you look at those Kournikova pictures for two days.

Ohmmmmm

[by Candis, who is sick of looking at the picture in the post below]

Yoga on a beach? Does life get any better?
It’s everywhere. It’s great for you and you spend half your time curled up like a child. No, I’m not talking about Thanksgiving with your in-laws I’m talking about yoga. We don’t take yoga classes as runners because we are above that. We are better. We pound the pavement faster by the month. People gawk at us as they drive by with their Baconator in hand. “Wow, look at her go.” [Ed Note: or him!]

But the press is everywhere. Yoga, like Wal-Mart is taking over and once you try both you’ll be more flexible, stronger, and have more money in your pocket- not to mention a lifetime supply of Smiley-O cereal for your carb loading needs.

It takes different lengths for us to give in and take a yoga class. For me it took a large word that I still cannot pronounce. Plantar Fasciitis, which looks way too much like fascist- coincidence? My left arch and calf are attacking my heel. It’s like little rubber bands snapping through my heel. The solution... stretches. Crap! I was hoping it was surgery or expensive orthotics- anything but stretching!

I’ve been intrigued by yoga for a few years but feared it was too new age. Fortunately I’m not good enough for the class where you teach your body to harness high powers- Ya right. Other than a few mentions of “sending your breath to muscles that won’t stretch” and something about my light that I missed, it was just plain relaxing. Like a massage that makes you strong and flexible. (I should mention that I took a class recently from a woman who I think was used to teaching a fast step class- her tempo was not helpful or relaxing.)

I should also mention that yoga is not only for gumbi women or only for women for that matter. [Ed Note: Nice try, but I’m not falling for it that easily.] I have taken classes with generously portioned women and biker dudes (like Harley not like Lance) and with muscle guys whose muscles quiver as they beg them to bend. There is no ogling because you have to look cool to hit on someone. It’s really just about you. It’s not about chocolate milks, laundry, meetings or a declining economy.

I do have one requirement for you. It’s just my personal requirement as most people would allow you to go on your merry way now. Buy your own mat. Seriously. I forbid you to borrow a generously offered class mat off of the mountain of sweat and germs. My feet sweat like nobody’s business and after seeing some of the others in the class, I do not want their mat next time. Now that I’ve grossed you out, shell out the $20 and get over yourself. It’s soooo good.

OK Fine. I’ll Do It Too.

I have over 150 running blogs in my Google Reader because I like to pretend that I have my fingers on the maxed out pulse of the running blog community, and lately I have been noticing a lot of running blogs talking about the one hundred push ups challenge. It has been like one of those viral memes that occasionally spread through my reader like this wicked, burning rash that I have. Being the egomaniac that I am, I assume that you’re all posting about the one hundred push ups challenge just to give me the hint that I should get on board. I get it. I’m reading you loud and clear and I’ve decided that I’ll join in the fun.

Initially I was going to join the challenge without mentioning it here on Half-Fast because it just seems so unoriginal and copycat to do it now when so many of you are already on the second or third week of the program. Also, I figured if I didn’t mention it then no one would be able to laugh at me or call me a slacker when I wash out in 2 weeks. However, I wasn’t sure what to post today and this seemed like the easy way out.

When I first heard about the one hundred push ups challenge I was pretty excited, but that’s because I thought that it had something to do with the push up bra, or as I prefer to call it the big let down, which is what happens when it comes off, both physically and emotionally. Anyway, I’m still excited about the challenge just not as visibly so as I was before. The first step as you all know is to do the initial test and see how many push ups you can perform before exhaustion. I’m a little unsure about how this works though, because I started this test last night and I’m still going strong. It’s true, I’m actually doing one handed push ups right now and typing with my other hand. I hope it’s not considered cheating to do the push ups one handed.

Finally, if anyone has any good home remedies for an itching, burning rash please post them in the comments. If need be I am happy to provide pictures of the infected area.

UPDATE: My apologies to the ladies for the boobies up there, if you like you can go visit Frayed Laces for a little dose of Matthew McConaughey. SWOON!

Half-Fast - Now With 50% More Cross Training!

As you know if you've been reading this blog for any length of time I've been using the FIRST half marathon training plan. This plan calls for 3 runs a week and 2 or 3 cross training days. Until now, I've been using soccer as one of my cross training days and doing strength training for the other. I'll now by adding a third cross training day by riding my brand new bike! My lovely wife got it for me on my birthday, it was a total surprise. Almost. (More on that story here, if you're so inclined.)

No, unfortunately mine does not have cool spinners like this one.

I'm so excited. I haven't owned a bike since I was 15, because I figured once I could drive what was the point of a bike? Remember those days? When you were too cool to be seen riding a bike because you drove a car. I remember driving around during the summer months with Will Smith's Summertime blasting on the speakers, wearing my mirrored sunglasses and rockin' a hyper-color T-shirt. How cool was I? (That's rhetorical, please don't answer it.)

Anyway, here's a list of things that I know about bike's:

• They have 2 wheels.
• You have to pedal them to make them go.
• They have gears.
• The seat is not comfortable - I learned this from my first ride this past week.

And that pretty much sums up my knowledge on the subject. So if you know of any helpful websites or have any helpful advice for a newbie cyclist like "don't ride on the street against oncoming traffic like a runner," or "don't stretch cold muscles before you cycle" (where were you guys on that one?) then please feel free to leave it in the comments or shoot me an e-mail.

I don't plan on becoming a serious cyclist or even competing in triathlons, I'm just a runner who doesn't want to have to run every freakin' day, so this is something that will help me to maintain fitness on days that I'm not running.