There you have it folks. I went to the doctor yesterday and he couldn’t tell me what was wrong with my knee. He listed a whole lot of common runner’s injuries and then proceeded to tell me why it didn’t sound like any of them. After that, just for fun he stretched, pulled, pushed and twisted my knee to see if he could duplicate the pain but he couldn’t, probably because I’m a tough guy. In fact, while he was trying to hyperextend my knee I looked at him squarely in the eyes and said “Doctor, do you expect me to talk?”
To which he replied with a sinister laugh, “No Mr. Vanilla, I expect you to die!” Then he tied me down, set the laser to “obliterate” and left me for dead. If it wasn’t for my laser-deflecting watch I’d have been dispatched for certain, instead I managed to escape through the heating ducts but only after making out with the hot nurse practitioner.
Yeah, so, Candis and I went to see Quantum of Solace this past weekend and somewhere after the phrase ‘hyperextend my knee’ in that last paragraph I transitioned into fiction. Hey, I’m not running much right now, what else do you want me to write about?
The Doctor (Evil?) was somewhat baffled by the way the injury happened and the way it went away in the following days. He thinks it might be some kind of inflammation and he was convinced that a MRI wouldn’t help much. The Doctor (No?) did refer me to an Orthopedic Specialist, which is great news because under my current health care insurance I think anything with that has the word ‘specialist’ in the title is totally and completely free... or maybe I’m reading that backwards. Anyway, the Orthopedic Specialist (cringe) can’t see me until Monday so I’m going to take this week off from running and then see what the specialist tells me to do. If anyone would like to buy a child I have two wonderfully behaved boys (entering the realm of fiction again) that I will gladly sell to get my knee back to its original form.
Check back tomorrow for the Podcast, and in the meantime enjoy another funny video courtesy of Marci’s blog, Ramblings of a Running Addict via Mike’s Carnival of Running at Running is Funny. If you don’t follow the Carnival of Running then you really should, it’s a lot like my Weekend Splits, except it’s actually posted on a regular basis. He even takes pot shots at Viper, just like I do.
No ellipses were harmed during the writing of this post.
Sorry the Quack was not much help. During my visits to the Medical professionals I get a lot of "Does this Hurt?" or "I am going to enhance interogate you for the next hour."
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can help me. I had my Physical Therapist tell me "not to run throught the pain." Do you have any idea what that means?
Good luck, ice up, run smart but don't listen to your brain. (Think about it. Head will explode in 5, 4, 2, what happened to 3. Just kidding, 3, 2,....)
So...just a thought...is a betting pool opening up with what the probable diagnoses is?
ReplyDeleteWell, technically he's not really an EVIL Doctor unless he's stroking a fluffy white pussy ... but, then again, he was handling your leg, so...
ReplyDeleteTough call.
Sorry the doctor wasn't helpful. Let's hope your next visit is a little more enlightening.
ReplyDeleteI've never had an internal medicine doc be able to help me with running injuries -- they are just not trained for that. Things finally turned around when I got a referral to a Sports Medicine doctor and physical therapy. Those people see running injuries all the time and really know what they are talking about. If I were you I would specifically ask for a Sports Medicine doctor -- there's nothing like waiting around when you are itching to run again!!
ReplyDelete@Steve J
ReplyDeleteIf we do have a pool I'll put my money on:
Patellar tendinitis
Hmm, okay, mine is on strained posterior cruciate ligament, with a probable mcl tear.
ReplyDeleteI seriously have had that same EXACT experience with a doctor before.
ReplyDeleteThe doctor was also like 200 years old and I thought he was going to die while examining my knee but that's another story.
Does it hurt to cross your legs "like a woman"? Seriously. I have an IT band stupid injury and it KILLS if I cross my legs. Like the woman that I am. I keep forgetting because I sit at a desk for one of my jobs and leg crossing kinda goes with desk sitting. I can run 4 miles before the knee decides we just ain't runnin' no more. Which is good that I can make 4 miles, as I am running the Turkey Trot 5K Thursday no matter what. As an Indian. Hope I win the costume prize!!
ReplyDeleteHope your knee feels better soon. Aleve, ice and heat did help after my trial runs.
Good luck Vanilla.
*grumble*
ReplyDeleteUm, I went for two weeks on fracture before it broke all the way through, just because the first doctor I saw did pretty much what yours did and didn't feel the need to do an X-ray or MRI, and sent me on my way. Two weeks after that I was in the ER and the docs there were asking why I didn't get X-rays at that initial doctor's visit. I realize that your situation is probably different, and I hope to all things good that it is something that a little TLC and physical therapy will take care of. I'm glad you got a ref to an orthopedic person.
*sending healing thoughts your way!*
Are you telling us that the Garmin can deflect lasers? Do I press the Training button or the Settings button for that?
ReplyDeleteargh, frustrating about the doc.
ReplyDeleteBut the video was hilarious!
So, you went to a GP, not at Ortho? An internal medicine dr or GP is probably not gonna help you much, so the ortho should be better. Is the ortho you're going to a sports specialist? It's my opinion that if you're an athelete, you should see someone who understands atheletes.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with this continuing mystery.
Gosh that's the worst...they can never tell you what's wrong...I hate that!
ReplyDeleteWell, if it's not something obvious, I like to think it's the kind of thing that's not a big deal and will go away with a little rest and maybe some tips from the orthopedic surgeon. Hopefully the insurance policy doesn't (does?)demand your kids in exchange for his diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the knee injury. On a recent visit to my doc she wanted me to SPLINT my foot for 4 weeks. I have tendonitis in both my foot and my knee as a result of training for my last marathon. Recovery sucks. Acupuncture works.
ReplyDeleteGo back to your beer and nachos plan. The guy sounds like a quack. :o)
ReplyDeleteI'll take ITB for 500.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't believe you're such as wuss that you went to the quack doctor. Oh wait, yes I can.
Remember, booze reduces pain and improves confidence. Have a fine Thanksgiving. Cheers!
Sounds like bruising from pavement pounding.
ReplyDelete