47¾ Laps

Well, I resisted the urge to try my hand at the steeplechase jump pictured in the post below. It was tempting but I didn’t want to run the majority of my long run with a wet foot, or worse a wet torso and a busted up chin. I considered trying it on my last lap and having Candis film it just in case I took a digger, but since I didn’t start running until almost 8 o’clock it was dark when I finished and you wouldn’t have been able to see much anyway. Plus, by the time I finished my legs were pretty shot and I wasn’t liking my chances of completing the jump without injury. Maybe next year.

The goal was to run 12 miles on the track which is roughly 48¼ laps, but only if you do all 48¼ laps in lane one. Throughout the night I found myself weaving back and forth across the track to get around large groups of walkers and in some cases groups of large walkers. At the start of my 48th lap my trusty Garmin (p.b.t.n) informed me that I had completed 11.82 miles and when I was ¾ of the way around the track it beeped out a distance alert for 12 miles. Actually, it didn’t so much sound like a beep but rather like a heavenly chorus of angelic beings serenading me with the most beautiful sonnet known to man that simply translated to ‘you can stop now.’ It was exquisite. So, after 47¾ laps I stopped running because you don’t question the infallibility of The Garmin (p.b.t.n.) you just do as it says and then hope that it is appeased and gives you good splits. It did not.

I can tell you unequivocally that this was the second most grueling run of my life, with the first being the marathon. I went into it knowing that it would be boring but figuring that I would just keep plodding along at my usual pace until it was all over. I underestimated the effects that boredom and monotony can have on your pace and your desire. You would think that running your entire run on a perfectly flat, rubberized surface would be ideal, but by the end of mile 4 I was begging for some downhill sections and some uneven concrete to run on. By mile 8 I was longing for an uphill section to break the tedium and force a change in my stride. I came really close on multiple occasions to running out through the gates into the parking lot and down the street for a few miles, but I managed to stick it out and I completed all 12 miles on the track at a dismal pace. I do not recommend it.

Adding insult to injury (by which I mean my slow pace) was the fact that the official event photographer did not manage to capture a single photograph of me running. I think he was probably intimidated by my regal stride and overbearing magnificence. He did however take several pictures of Candis and the boys which is why there’s a picture of them at the top of this post. That picture was taken during the Candy Lap, and yes, I participated in the candy lap while I was running although you’ll have to take my word for it as there are no pictures to prove it. Stupid photographer, I think he had the hots for Candis. If I see him again I’m gonna’ have to whoop his butt.

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