Friday, September 4, 2009

Pearl Izumi is a Needy Lover

I got an e-mail from Pearl Izumi the other day, which is a pretty frequent occurrence, but I actually started to read this one before dismissing it to the archives and something caught my eye:


Sorry about the horrendous image quality, I only had MS Paint at my disposal.


First of all, Peal Izumi? Nice work PI marketing department and editing team.

Secondly, ‘my relationship with Peal [sic] Izumi?’ My ‘relationship?’ They give away a pair of shoes on my blog and buy me a couple pairs of shoes and all of a sudden we’re in a relationship? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why don’t we back up the relationship train and turn down the heat on this pressure cooker. I mean seriously, we’re not even Facebook friends.

I bet Pearl Izumi is out there telling all her other girlfriends that we’re getting pretty serious and that we’re in an exclusive relationship, but it’s just not true. In fact, I’ve got some bad news for you, Pearl Izumi; I’ve got two other shoe brands that I’m still seeing on a regular basis. What? You thought the once or twice a week we get together was enough for a guy like me? I need it much more frequently than that, and by ‘it’ I am of course referring to running.

Crap. Pearl Izumi is totally going to key my car tonight isn’t she? I gotta’ get outta’ here pronto. I got a stage 5 clinger on my hands. Have a great weekend everyone.

Site Note: I’ll be travelling for part of next week so things might be a little slow around here, but I’ll try to keep the posts coming.

15 comments:

  1. You just strung PI along, didn't you?

    Man-whore.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um, I hate to ruin your weekend, but I don't think Pearl Izumi is a female. Hermaphrodite at best...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Does Pearl Izumi mean roughly the same thing as pearl jam? Because if it does, I have news for you: You're the girl in this relationship.

    Um ... you might want to wipe that pearl izumi off your feet because leaving it there is a surefire way for a girl like you to end up with uncomplimentary things being written about her on the men's room wall.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LMAO! I love lack of editing from national brands!!!

    P.S. You shoe whore.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Funny, I always thought of Pearl Izumis as a male shoe brand, if I had to assign a gender to it. Which would make you shoe gay.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now you've gone and spread your biz all over the web... so you know its true. Now you'll be forced into a life of barefoot running.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Glad I never gave Peal Azumis the eye. Have a fine weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well, you did get physical with Peal Izumi awfully fast, and odds are it is your kid (Jerry Springer and a DNA test await).

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's what happens when you take free shit. You have no one but yourself to blame.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's not official till it's on facebook. Does candis know about this?

    ReplyDelete
  11. "you may unsubscribe if you no longer wish to receive our emails"
    How passive aggressive can PI get?

    (Yes, I did skip the football post.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Really? I mean she's cute and all but obviously not that smart.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Make sure you change your email password. Before you know it, she'll be unsubscribing you from all the other shoe emails.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Um, if she gave up some free stuff and you accepted, Im gonna say you are in a relationship. It maybe a rather vague and undefined relationship, but a relationship nonetheless.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Geez... give it away for free and the guy walks all over you. Typical.

    ReplyDelete

Please note: If this post is more than a week old then Comment Moderation has been turned on and your comment may not show up immediately.