Running for Lunch

As we continue to have wonderful weather here in Denver (and I continue to rub everyone’s face in it) I see more and more runners out at lunchtime pounding the Denver asphalt. I’m glad that they’re out there running while I’m filling up on Jimmy John’s and dollar cookies from the hole-in-the-wall bakery because they motivate me to get out and run when I get home. I envy them being out there running while I’m walking back to my office, trying to figure out how I got mayonnaise on my breast pocket and if it’s worth the condescending glances to untuck my shirt and lick it (it is). I do however wonder how it’s possible to run at lunch, so if some of you run during your lunch break then please let me know how you do it because I have some questions.

It seems like there would be a number of obstacles to overcome. First of all, do you change into your running gear at the office or do you wear your running clothes to the office? If so, do you keep wearing them all day even after they are sweaty from your run?

Speaking of sweaty, do you shower after your run? Is your work so nice that they provide you with a shower? Or are you the stinky person in your office that everyone avoids like the plague. Every office has one.

How far do you run? Unless you’re taking a long lunch or are a lot faster than me (in which case shut up) then it doesn’t seem like you’d have the time to run very far. After you add up the time you spend to change into and out of your running gear and the time you spend showering and the time you spend waiting for your Garmin to find a satellite how can you possibly have more than 30 minutes to run?

Why do you judge the guy with the mayonnaise on his breast pocket? He’s a runner too!

I don’t think there’s anyway I could become a lunchtime runner. I’m either wearing a suit and tie or business casual depending on the day so I’d have to find a place to change clothes. (I do have an office with a door, but it has a glass wall so that wouldn’t work, and I hate trying to change in the men’s room.) I’d also need a place to shower after my run and the only logical choice seems like a nearby gym, but a gym membership is way too expensive for the privilege of running outside at lunchtime. Besides, when would I make questionable food choices if I spent my lunch hour running?

I Guess I Don’t Look Like a Runner

Contrary to what you might think, I’m really not the boisterous, chest thumping, braggart in real life that I portray so well on this blog, at least not entirely. This means that very few people in my office actually know that I’m a runner and fewer still know that I’m running a marathon in a couple of weeks but that will all change when I wear my medal (assuming I earn one) around the office for the remainder of 2009. However, as meetings are planned and schedules are being made for January it has given rise to the question of why I’m taking a couple of days off surrounding the weekend of January 18th. Here’s what I notice when I tell people that I’m running a marathon; their eyes get a little bigger and then they look me up and down as if to say “Really? You are running a marathon?”

I guess it’s because they can’t see the rippling abs beneath my dress shirt and believe me, my abs do ripple. Just the other day I stood shirtless in front of the mirror and watched the ripples radiate from a hearty gut smack all the way up to my neck and back in concentric circles, so maybe they don’t ripple in the traditional sense but they do ripple. OK so I’m being a little facetious. While I haven’t yet been able to put the finishing touches on my granite six pack, I’m also not afflicted with the ol’ Dunlop belly, which is to say that my belly hasn’t “done lopped over” my pants.

So what is it? Why does everyone feel the need to look me up and down like some piece of meat when they discover I’m running a marathon? Is it just because people have this preconceived notion that all marathon runners look like skinny Kenyans? Is it because I don’t have the sunken-eyed, gaunt look of some other fellow runners? Is it because of my muscular build? Is it because I’m too handsome to be a marathoner? Yes. I like to think it is.