In Training

Training for my November half marathon is going about as well as can be expected. I’m up to 10 miles now on my long runs now and I seem to be completing them a little faster than I had expected. The key here is to have really low expectations. Aim low and you’ll never be disappointed, that’s what I always say. There’s still 7 weeks to go which is plenty of time for me to build up my long run to 12 miles. I find that I race best at this distance if I can get in a few 12 mile training runs prior to the race. I smell a new PR in the works and you know what that means? It means at least one more post this year so that I can beat my chest and brag about being just a little bit more towards the front of the middle of the pack than I was before. (That sentence made sense in my head.) I’ve already had one new PR this year if I had 2 I’d be just about impossible to live with.

Since I’m not posting all that frequently here, I’ll leave you with a new running blog suggestion: Vomit Colored Shoes. He writes with the same sense of humor that I try for here and he pulls it off better than I do. No, no you’re right, nobody does it better than I do but he definitely does it more frequently. He’s still in that cute, post-every-day stage that new bloggers go through so head on over there and leave him some comments. It sounds like he’s a fairly new runner too so you should feel free to give him lots and lots of unsolicited advice, just be sure to mix in some really bad advice every once and a while to keep him on his toes.

Failing to Plan

I feel like I’ve been running long enough that I can go out and run several times a week without needing a specific training plan. In the past I’ve used any number of online training plans to lead me right up to my target race date and some of them have worked great and some of them have failed miserably. (It’s always the race plan that fails, never the runner). My point being that I don’t feel like I need some printout to tell me the type or distance of my run today. I can figure out on my own whether I should be doing intervals or a tempo run or cross training or how quickly I can increase my mileage etc.

I feel like I know myself well enough to determine the best training plan for my upcoming races. I feel like I know myself better than Hal Higdon or Yasso or any of these other running gods that put together training plans but I also feel like this is the kind of pride that goes before a fall so we shall see what becomes of me in November. All this to say that I’m winging it for my fall half marathon, it’s the Half-Fast way.

I’m Not Back
Viper asked on my last post if I was ‘back’ and then before I could respond (hint: I was never going to respond) Randy congratulated me on being ‘back.’ Let me just clarify that I’m not ‘back’ per se, I’m just enjoying writing again. I quit writing here because it became a chore. I felt that in order for this to be a successful blog I needed to post x number of times a week and that drained the joy from it like a freshly unclogged toilet. By saying that I’m not ‘back’ I can feel free to write when I want to and fill the blog up with crap at my leisure, always a more pleasurable activity.

Mmmmm Pancakes

As promised in my last post my training has started! Yes, I’ve been running a lot more lately but I’m not sure if I can actually count it as training because I haven’t been posting my runs on Facebook. Does it even count as running if you don’t tell Facebook about it? Right now I’m leaning towards the Heart Center of the Rockies Half Marathon in Loveland in early November. Pros: It’s only $50, cool heart shaped medal, free pancake breakfast, tech shirt included, it’s 11 weeks away, and FREE PANCAKE BREAKFAST! Nothing is more satisfying after a run than trying to consume all the calories that you just burned. Cons: apparently you have to run 13.1 miles or something.

Last night while I was out training for my pancake half marathon (my new preferred name for the event) a lot of geese were flying overhead. I couldn’t decide if I should look up at the geese so that when they pooped I’d see it coming and be able to dodge it, or if I should look down so as not to take a goose deuce to the face. I tried it both ways but none of them ever opened the bomb bay doors so maybe I’m over-thinking this. I’ll continue experimenting and keep you posted. I also had a close encounter with a coyote on my run but I was less concerned about that, especially when I saw the ACME brand rockets he was using. Meep, meep!

The Bolder Boulder Approacheth

It’s that time of year again. Time for the Bolder Boulder 10k (well, in 5 weeks anyway). It’s my favorite race because it was the race that got me into running 6 years ago and has always been a good measuring stick of my progress as a runner, or my lack of progress if you’re only looking at the last couple of years. I know that there are a few folks out there who do not like the Bolder Boulder because of the crowded field or the fact that so many of the participants are out there for fun or are walking the whole way and while I admire their elitist attitude and often like to think of myself as better than others I just can’t dislike this race.

Of course, if Candis beats me this year then I’ll officially change my position and join the ranks of the elitist runners who sneer at the BB10k. I’ve been looking for something to sneer at for a while now so it will be the perfect excuse. You may remember that after the race last year I charted out my results and compared them to Candis’s results, but you probably don’t so here’s that chart again.

After I put this up last year I vowed to train so very, very hard for the BB10k this year so as not to allow those lines to cross. You know that it’s bad if you cross the streams, right? How bad? “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.” However, it turns out that vowing to train hard and actually training hard are two different things and lately my training can be summed up with one simple word: meh. It’s not even a real word which is appropriate as my training as of late is not even real training.

What I need now more than ever is a Runners World magazine that unlocks the secrets of training and shows me ‘How to Run My Best 10k in Just 5 Weeks.’ I’m going to assume that they’ve already covered that topic multiple times and search through all my issues until I find it.

In past years Candis and I have ended up starting in different waves which means it’s never really been a head to head race, but this year will be different. I’m not about to run this thing without knowing how fast she’s running it. You see, no matter how ill-prepared you are for a race I imagine you get an incredible surge of adrenaline when your wife passes you, at least that’s what I’m counting on. That and a superior race strategy. Actually, it will be interesting to race it head to head because of the different race strategies we’ll both undoubtedly use. Will one of us throw in a few surges to try and discourage the other person? Perhaps. Will Candis try to be fast during the first mile knowing that I like to take it slower on that first mile? Maybe. Will one of us try to rely on a strong finishing kick? It’s possible. Will I resort to childish name calling and psychological warfare if I get passed? Most definitely.

Downhill Running

As the Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon approaches I find myself starting to fret over some of the important details, things like:

• Where will I park?
• What will they be serving for the post race spread?
• How should I handle the downhill course?
• What if it’s really hot that morning?
• Should the timing chip go on my right or left shoe? - (This is a trick question. Everyone knows that the timing chip always, ALWAYS goes on the right shoe.)
• What shirt should I wear?
• Should I wear a hat?
• Compression shirt or band-aids to protect the nipples? Or both?

Of course all of those questions are important but the one that has been weighing on my mind the most is the issue of post race food. Is it going to be the same dry bagel and bananas that they had last year or will they upgrade to something better? Since there’s not much I can do to affect the post race spread (you can only e-mail pictures of bacon to the race director so many times before you get added to the junk mail senders list), I’m going to focus on something I can affect; learning how to run a race that is mostly downhill. As with any major life decision the best people to ask for advice on such topics are anonymous internet commenters, which is why I seek y’all’s counsel on this.

Last year I failed miserably at downhill running and had to slow way down at the end of the race. You can read the race report and see the splits here if you’re into reading about other people’s pain. Basically I think there are two strategies when it comes to running downhill. 1) Apply the brakes and control your pace and 2) give in to gravity and let yourself go. Last year I opted for number two because it felt so good (for 10 miles) and if Sheryl Crow has taught me anything it’s that if it makes me happy it can’t be that bad, right? Wrong! If it makes you happy, it’s probably only temporary and then the pain and leg cramps start, but that’s a little too wordy for song lyrics so I can see why Ms. Crow went with what she had there.

Anyway due to last years catastrophe, I’m obviously giving serious consideration to reigning in my pace a little more during the early miles of this race and trying to remain controlled on the hills, but in the interest of analyzing my running ad nauseam how should I do that? Run with a vertical posture? Slightly forwards or backwards lean? Gangsta’ lean? Chin up or down? Longer stride or shorter stride? Land on my heels or my midfoot? Hat on forwards or backwards? I just don’t know, which is why you’re here. Let me hear in the comments what you’ve heard or what you know about downhill running so that I can ignore you and do it my own way anyway. It will make it that much sweeter for you when you can tell me “I told you so,” after I fail again this year. Positive thinking, schmositive thinking!

Could’ve done without that

It’s been a long week. My reader and my inbox consist of a lot more bolded entries than un-bolded ones, something that will be remedied soon by the ‘mark all items as read’ button. What a fantastic invention that was. My work days have been consumed by meetings and presentations to people who lack the capacity to think logically and my nights have been filling up with obligations too. What I’ve been needing is a long, hard run followed by a good night’s sleep. What I’ve had to settle for is short, quick one milers followed by equally short nights, so when the opportunity arose to get in a four mile run I was pretty excited. For the record I don’t consider a four mile run to be a ‘long, hard run’ but it was something other than the worthless one milers that I’d been squeezing in to my hectic schedule (which I pronounce shed-yool because it makes me sound better than you).

Just as I was about to head out the door, a light rain started to fall. I love running in the rain. More specifically, I love being seen running in the rain by my neighbors and motorists because it probably makes them think I’m hardcore... or an idiot, I’m not sure which. Actually, there’s a pretty good chance that they were thinking the latter because I was listening to The Moth Podcast, recommended to me by Amy Lawson, which unlike our podcast is laugh out loud funny. So there I was barreling down the street, in the rain, unable to suppress my laughter. I’m sure I made some motorist’s day. Things were looking up until I came across this:

Walk closed? This cannot be! This is my favorite trail to run on and now it’s closed, just like that. I’m pretty sure I didn’t authorize this! [Edit: Candis tells me I did authorize it because we got to vote on the new public swimming facility/rec center that is being built in the field to the right of the path, which is why the path is closed. Whatever. That vote is more suspect that the Iranian election.] How come no one consulted me before closing the path? That was my happy place! You can’t just go around closing people’s happy places without consulting them!

I was in shock. Judging by the construction going on to the right of the path, my running trail (yes, MY running trail) is going to be closed for quite some time. I just stood there in front of the walk closed sign, completely gob-smacked. I contemplated climbing the fence and going on about my business but decided that the last thing I needed was to rack myself on the top of the fence.

I eventually managed to pick up the broken pieces of my run and move on. I found a way around the construction and picked up the trail further down but this is going to be a major inconvenience and a source of much future whining. I just hope you guys are strong enough to put up with it.

The Hills

I’ve started to focus my runs lately on preparing myself for the torturous Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon in early August which has an elevation profile that resembles your 401K as of late (see here). The scenic route, made all that much more scenic when I am running on it, winds gently down the Clear Creek Valley and drops nearly 1000 feet between the start and finish. According to the race website it is “one of the most pleasurable races in the western US and one of the fastest,” what they don’t tell you is that it will completely shred your quads.

I’ve been getting myself ready for Georgetown by running a lot of the hills in and around our neighborhood. One evening last week whilst running the hills I had an epiphany, or maybe I just sharted, it’s so hard to tell the difference, but all of a sudden I realized why they named that MTV show The Hills: It is just as insufferable and uppity as actually running the hills. Both are equally painful, although I do feel good about myself after running the hills and that definitely cannot be said after watching The Hills.

In the hopes of staving off the quad shredding as long as possible I’m focusing on running down the hills during my training runs, but the crappy thing about running down a hill is that it usually means that at some point you’re going to have to run ‘uppity’ one. I suppose you could say that my training has been up and down, but not figuratively, literally. The other aspect of this race is that it is run at a high altitude which you might think that I would be used to since I’m in Denver but I just like to remind you all every now and then that I run at high altitude and you don’t. Although, even in Denver we’re only at an altitude of 5280 feet, and this race starts at 8500 feet and doesn’t get below 8000 feet until past the half way mark.

In order to better acclimate myself to the higher altitude I’ve been doing all my runs using only one lung. When I told Candis this she looked at me incredulously and said “what do you mean that you’re only using one of your lungs?” so I had to explain to her that there was less oxygen at higher altitudes and she was like “I know that, but how are you only using one of your lungs?” which completely surprised me that she didn’t know how to use only one of her lungs. I mean everyone knows that your right nostril goes to your right lung and your left nostril goes to your left lung. So I told her that I just breath in through one nostril instead of both and she rolled her eyes and called me an idiot, but she was the one that didn’t know how to breath into just one lung. Then, as if that wasn’t enough she tells me that using one nostril sends the air to both lungs and I cracked up laughing because clearly she thinks that people only have two lungs and I was like “well if we only have two lungs, one for each nostril, then where does the air go when I breathe in through my mouth?” She just shook her head and walked off, obviously realizing that she was wrong and couldn’t argue with my superior logic. So yeah, I’ve been practicing breathing with just one lung, that way when I run the race using all three lungs it will feel the same because there’s less oxygen at higher altitudes (because oxygen is afraid of heights).

We’re Going Streaking!

You remember that stupid post a couple of weeks ago where I said something about running every day for the month of June? Of course you do, because you all enjoy holding me to my stupid ideas. Well, I’ve decided that I’m doing it. I need a change of pace from the FIRST plan that has worked so well for me (until recently) and what could be more different than switching from only running 3 days a week to running every day of every week. (If this doesn’t work I’m going to try not running at all.) Starting on Monday I’m going streaking, streaking through June and you’re all invited to join me, after all, misery loves company.

I’ll be using the same rules that the US Running Streak Association uses per the recommendation of Ace, whose blog you should NOT check out because it will reveal that he has run every day for over 500 days now and that will totally dwarf your opinion of my pathetic attempt at 30 days. Basically the rules state that you have to run one continuous mile every calendar day under your own power. Treadmill miles are acceptable but undesirable.

So that’s it. I’m doing it. No excuses, no breaks, no exceptions*. I’m going to run every day period. In fact that will be the name of the challenge, Run Every Day Period or RED Period for short... uhhh... no... wait... that doesn’t sound like an every-day-of-the-month thing. (Please don’t ever let that be an every-day-of-the-month-thing!) Since I’ll be running for thirty straight days, we could call it the Straight Thirty Days Test or the STD Tes... huh, maybe not. How about Streakfest? Or 30 days of Suck? Or Streakapalooza ‘09? Or Vanilla Is A Guy Running Around? Or Injury Watch ’09? Or not-as-big-a-deal-as-I’m-making-it-attention-grabbing-stunt? Your votes and suggestions in the comments.

*Exceptions:
Runner (me) will not be required to run a mile in calendar days when he gets less than 4 hours of sleep during the previous night or when the average number of sleep hours for the past 3 days is less than 6 hours of sleep per night (but not to exceed 10 hours) after adjusting the data to remove the outlying high and low numbers. Additionally, the runner will not be required to run a mile when the number of hours worked in a day exceeds the number of hours slept during the previous night or when the runner simply does not feel like running. Finally, any miles run in excess of the minimum 1 mile/day may be carried over and applied to the following days. OK FINE. I’m just joking about the exceptions, there are no exceptions.

I’m going to call out Turi and Audrey here because they mentioned that they might do it too and this will help pressure them into it.

Have a good weekend and be sure to come back Monday for Candis’ race report which is sure to include plenty of gloating.

It’s Bolder Boulder Week

That’s right running fans the Bolder Boulder 10K is held every Memorial Day and I’m proclaiming this week Bolder Boulder Week here at Half-Fast. The Bolder Boulder was the first race I ever ran and has become the annual yardstick against which I measure my running progress. Things you can expect to see here at Half-Fast during Bolder Boulder Week include: an in depth discussion of my race goals, some preliminary excuses that I can circle back to if I fail, posts that yo-yo back and forth between boastful arrogance and hopeless defeatism, Candis’ race goals and an advanced handicapping system that will allow her to compete against me, a complex pacing strategy that I will abandon within the first mile of the race, my post race meet-up location so that you can ask me to sign your race bib, delusions of grandeur. It’s going to be a busy week.

In past years I have never doubted my ability to PR in this race because every year my training runs preceding the race have been significantly faster than they were the prior year. This year my training paces have been pretty inconsistent and at best could only be considered marginally faster than they were last year. At worst they could even be considered slower.

In this post in February I stated that one of my goals this year was to run a sub 50 minute 10K which would require an 8 minute mile pace. Two weeks ago I ran 4 straight tempo miles at a 7:56 pace which was very encouraging but then last week I ran some 1 mile intervals where the goal pace was 7:40/mile and they went like this: 8:08, 8:12, 8:22. Very discouraging, not to mention disastrously inconsistent.

As I was pouring over my training log and contemplating what these inconsistent results meant Candis sent me a link to an article on Runner’s World. Not being much of a reader, I skimmed through it until I saw a nice looking chart that just happened to contain the secret to my success for achieving a sub 50 minute 10K. It basically says that if you lose 10lbs you will unequivocally shave 2 minutes and 4 seconds from your 10K time. My 10K time? 52:07. So really after I drop 10lbs this week all I need to do is be 4 seconds faster than I was last year, and even I can do that, right? Right? Plus, think how healthy I’ll be after losing 10lbs in one week. Win-win my friends, win-win.

Run Every Day?

I had this crazy idea on the way in to work today that maybe I should run every day for a month. Then in the spirit of crazy ideas I decided to write up a quick post about it and put it out there for everyone to read before I really thought it through. So here it is; I’m thinking about committing to running every day for the month of June. What do you think? Good idea? Stupid idea? Stupid idea but go ahead and do it anyway?

I know that several of you fellow bloggers out there have done this in the past and I thought it would be a good opportunity mix things up a little. Now June isn’t really the best month for me to be trying this (that would’ve been February- only 28 days!) because in the month of June there seem to be a lot of things that could get in the way of me running; our anniversary, a huge family reunion, Father’s day, apathy, and hotter weather just to name a few. But, that’s part of what makes it a challenge. If it were easy, then everyone would do it.

So what say ye? Should I attempt to run every day in June? And before you answer in the affirmative you should ask yourself if you’re prepared to read a whole slew of posts next month that feature me pissing and moaning about how hard it was to find the time to run and how stupid an idea this was, as I suspect it probably is. This isn’t just a commitment on my part, you’ll be committing to putting up with me as I go through with this or you’ll have to deal with me sulking around like Jay Cutler in the event that I fail. Are you ready for that? If so, what should the rules be? How long does a run need to be to qualify? How should I reward myself if I’m successful? I eagerly await your noble suggestions.

In the meantime I’m going to be perfecting some of the Parkour or Free Running moves in the video below. People who know what they’re talking about make a distinction between Parkour and Free Running, which is why I use them interchangeably.


[h/t With Leather]

12 Miles

If you’re training for a half-marathon 12 miles is a long run. If you’re running Boston in 2 weeks 12 miles means you’re in taper mode. If you’re training for a marathon that’s more than 2 weeks away then 12 miles is probably a midweek run but if you’re me, 12 miles is the combined total mileage that you’ve run in the last 2 weeks. That’s right, in the last 2 weeks I’ve run exactly 12 miles. I probably deserve an award or something. During the past 2 weeks I’ve wondered why I’m not getting any faster and why my fitness is not improving like it should. I’ve complained about gaining a few pounds and acted like I couldn’t figure out what might have caused it.

The funny thing is that my lack of mileage these past 2 weeks hasn’t been due to a lack of motivation. Life just keeps getting in the way and I’ve been genuinely frustrated at being unable to find the time to run. These past two weeks I’ve been invited to family dinners, I’ve had to work late, I’ve been invited to bachelor parties, I’ve committed to dinner plans with friends and on my free nights I’ve watched mother nature step in with harsh wind and snow storms. I know, I know, cry me a river. I’m so popular that I don’t have the time to run in all those pairs of free shoes that I’ve been given. Woe is me. I’m sure you’re all feeling desperately sorry for me, but that’s not my intent. No, the intent of this post is to put everyone on notice.

If you want to spend time with me in the evening then you’d better schedule it after my run. You want me to help you with something on Saturday? Not until after my run. You want me to make an appearance at your party? Don’t schedule it during one of my runs. From now on, running takes priority over all extracurricular events and I’m not working late on nights that I have a run planned either. I’m a banker for crying out loud, since when did bankers EVER work late? Not since they needed to get their runs in, that’s when.

This goes for my family too. You need Daddy to fix that toy that you broke? Not until after my run. You need a ride to the hospital because you broke your arm falling off something you shouldn’t have been standing on in the first place? Call an ambulance, Daddy has to run. You need your husband to fix the toilet that won’t stop running? Not until after he stops running. You can’t control your raw, animalistic desires and want to rip off your husband’s clothes the second he gets home from work? . . . I guess my run can wait an extra 3 minutes. I wouldn’t want to seem obsessive about this whole ‘running takes priority’ thing.

Bowel shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse...

[The video on the right is provided as a soundtrack for this post. You don’t need to watch it, just push play and listen while you read, that is, if you’re capable of two things at once.]

I’ve stated previously that my training right now is aimed towards a sub 50 minute time in the upcoming Bolder Boulder 10K. I’m just now starting to get into the heart of my training and I find myself struggling to keep up with the suggested paces and this is causing me to doubt my ability to run an 8 minute pace for 6.2 miles. I know, it must be hard for you to believe that someone as awesome as me would doubt his abilities but I’ll bet that even Superman had doubts and misgivings some of the time. Like about wearing those knee high red boots, come on Clark, only Supergirl can make that look work.

Fortunately, my choice of footwear is as awesome as it is well documented so I don’t have to worry about looking like a tool in the wrong shoes or wearing white after Labor Day. No, all I have to worry about is running faster than a speeding bullet and that is proving to be a challenge. I’ve gone back and looked at my training runs leading up to last year’s Bolder Boulder to see if I’m any faster than I was back then, but if anything I think I might be slower. This is really quite frustrating and I might have to stop running all together if I don’t at least PR in the Bolder Boulder. It’s not all bad, I’ve been thinking that maybe I’d like to quit running anyway and devote more time to couch potatoing. Crashing and burning at the Bolder Boulder may give me just the excuse I need to stop running.

I blame my newly found slowness on running a marathon. I spent the bulk of the winter months focusing on increasing my mileage and I’m beginning to wonder if that was to the detriment of my speed. Is it possible that training for and running a marathon could make you slower at the 5K and 10K distances? And if so, why do you people keep on running them? I still have 2 months before the Bolder Boulder so there’s plenty of time to work on my speed deficiency (is there a vitamin I can take for that?) but I have to admit I’m not nearly as confident this year about a PR as I have been in past years.

Running for Lunch

As we continue to have wonderful weather here in Denver (and I continue to rub everyone’s face in it) I see more and more runners out at lunchtime pounding the Denver asphalt. I’m glad that they’re out there running while I’m filling up on Jimmy John’s and dollar cookies from the hole-in-the-wall bakery because they motivate me to get out and run when I get home. I envy them being out there running while I’m walking back to my office, trying to figure out how I got mayonnaise on my breast pocket and if it’s worth the condescending glances to untuck my shirt and lick it (it is). I do however wonder how it’s possible to run at lunch, so if some of you run during your lunch break then please let me know how you do it because I have some questions.

It seems like there would be a number of obstacles to overcome. First of all, do you change into your running gear at the office or do you wear your running clothes to the office? If so, do you keep wearing them all day even after they are sweaty from your run?

Speaking of sweaty, do you shower after your run? Is your work so nice that they provide you with a shower? Or are you the stinky person in your office that everyone avoids like the plague. Every office has one.

How far do you run? Unless you’re taking a long lunch or are a lot faster than me (in which case shut up) then it doesn’t seem like you’d have the time to run very far. After you add up the time you spend to change into and out of your running gear and the time you spend showering and the time you spend waiting for your Garmin to find a satellite how can you possibly have more than 30 minutes to run?

Why do you judge the guy with the mayonnaise on his breast pocket? He’s a runner too!

I don’t think there’s anyway I could become a lunchtime runner. I’m either wearing a suit and tie or business casual depending on the day so I’d have to find a place to change clothes. (I do have an office with a door, but it has a glass wall so that wouldn’t work, and I hate trying to change in the men’s room.) I’d also need a place to shower after my run and the only logical choice seems like a nearby gym, but a gym membership is way too expensive for the privilege of running outside at lunchtime. Besides, when would I make questionable food choices if I spent my lunch hour running?

Gearing Up

Starting in March I’ll be back on an official training plan and I’m actually excited about it. I don’t know what it is about printing out a training schedule that makes me go run but I just don’t do well without one. Maybe it’s the fact that there’s a race at the end of the training schedule, maybe there’s something about having an official training plan or maybe I’m just lazy during the off-season. I suspect it’s the latter.

On Monday I’ll start training for the Bolder Boulder 10K using the 12 week plan put together by FIRST. Right now the plan is sitting beside me on my desk, calling out to me, ready to kick my butt into gear and then just kick my butt. Right now the training plan (which was printed on our color printer at work. . . shhhh) is unblemished. There are no notations of runs shortened or intervals changed, there are no arrows indicating I moved workouts around to accommodate my occasional bouts of laziness or apathy, but there are also no checkmarks on the plan either. I hope to add a checkmark on Monday (or maybe Tuesday if Monday’s no good for me) but make no mistake, racing season is here again and my enthusiasm and hopefulness have yet to be squashed by an oppressive tempo run.

It may seem weird to some of you that a 10K is my most important race of the year but that’s OK because some of you seem weird to me, I mean, what’s with those shoes? The Bolder Boulder 10K was the first race I ever ran back in May 2005, and every year I use it as a gage to see how I have progressed as a runner over the past year. The least amount of time that I’ve shaved from one year to the next is 2 minutes 53 seconds. If I could shave that much off last year’s PR of 52:07 then I would finally be under 50 minutes. If that happens I’ll be ecstatic! A finishing time of 49:xx would be a bigger accomplishment than finishing my first marathon earlier this year, that’s how bad I want this.

Serious training is about to begin. As for the rest of this week? Meh, maybe I’ll try and squeeze in a few miles between watching TV and eating.

My Knee is Painfree, Slower than I Remember

The good news with my running lately is that I’ve been able to run with almost no pain in my knee, probably resulting from the 600mg of Advil coursing through my veins. The bad news is that I seem to be slower. I’m blaming the slowness on the 2 weeks that I took off from running to nurse my injury, and I’m starting to rethink what my marathon goals should be, but that’s for another, more boring post.

Due to the icy paths and sub-freezing temperatures here in Colorado recently I’ve been forced to do some of my runs on the conveyor belt of boredom, which is probably better for my knee anyway. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself as I trundle along like an unclaimed suitcase, endlessly circling the baggage claim carousel.

Thus far in my training, the furthest that I’ve run is 16 miles and while it was a good run, it’s been more than 6 weeks since I went that far. I have two more long runs before the taper starts (18 miles and 20 miles) and the forecast for this weekend is not making things easy. There’s still ice on the paths and tomorrow is going to be 21 degrees with snow flurries. I simply refuse to run 18 miles on a treadmill, you’d have to be clinically insane to try that (looking at you Kristina). A friend suggested I go to a nearby Rec Center that has an indoor track, but the track is only a tenth of a mile which means that I’d have to run 180 laps and I’ll be honest with you, I can’t count that high. Seriously, I have trouble with any kind of math while I’m running. One time I accidentally ran 11 miles instead of 10 because of a miscalculation when adding ‘distance remaining’ to ‘distance already covered.’ I’ve never hated math more than I did that day.

Anyway, the success or failure of my scheduled 18 miler this weekend will be a defining moment in my marathon training, and ‘when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you.’ That’s a movie quote folks, 5 Half-Fast bonus points in the comments for the first person who can tell me what movie it’s from. 5 Half-Fast bonus points and $1.42 will get you a gallon of gas these days. Bonus points are non-refundable, non-negotiable, have no cash value and may cause a slight itching and burning.

Only 6 shopping days left, almost time for me to get started. Enjoy the weekend!

“Maybe you just can’t run that far”

That’s what the orthopedic surgeon told me yesterday just moments before he doubled over in pain from a kick to the groin. OK, so I didn’t kick him in the groin, but I wanted to.

Since I went straight from work to visit the doctor’s office I was still wearing a suit and apparently you can’t take x-rays through suit pants. Really? The machine can see through flesh and muscle but it can’t see through finely crafted, Italian, merino wool faux polyester from Indonesia? I was handed a pair of one-size-fits-all shorts to wear for the x-ray part of my visit and fortunately for you, Candis was with me to snap a picture of me looking sexy as hell in oversized shorts, dress socks and a shirt and tie.

Tucking the tie into the shorts really completes the ensemble. As I walked across the office to the x-ray room I could tell from the looks I was getting that all of the nurses wanted to get in my pants, and the good news is that I had room in there for every single one of them.

Shortly thereafter, the doctor came in and inspected the x-rays. The only conclusion that could be drawn from the x-rays was that beauty is NOT skin deep as the x-rays proved that my knees are sexy all the way through to the bone. Other than that, everything looked normal. Perfectly healthy knees. X-rays = useless. Hopefully that means that I won’t be charged for them, right? Right?

Next the doctor had me lie down on the table and he flexed my knee every which way possible. He poked and prodded, he twisted, he hyper-extended, he did every trick in the book to try to cause pain or discomfort but nothing came close to the discomfort I had felt earlier when he paraded me across the office in sexy shorts like a piece of meat. It was not even remotely unpleasant and I think I may have even nodded off for part of the exam.

Finally, we got to talking about the injury. I explained where the pain was (behind my knee) and told him how it only comes on after an hour or two of running. I explained how excruciatingly painful it is when it appears and how it disappears completely after ice, Advil and a few hours rest. The final diagnosis was that I probably have a tiny Baker Cyst (also known as a Gargamel Cyst) in the back of my knee that gets irritated after running for any length of time. Incidentally, no one guessed Gargamel in the comments so you all suck at diagnosing running injuries as much as I do. That’s when the doctor told me, in between coughing fits, that I could continue running and that maybe the pain was my body’s way of telling me that I just can’t run that far. He even jokingly told me that maybe I should stick to half marathons, but it wasn’t funny. He suggested I keep running, building my long runs slowly to the point where the pain starts. He also recommended taking 600mg of ibuprofen before my long runs.

The good news in all of this is that the marathon is still in the picture depending on how far I can run prior to the pain starting up. I’m going to take a couple more days off and jump back into running again this weekend, after all I’m running the Colder Bolder 5K on Sunday with Candis and Carl and it will be my final attempt at Shaving my 5K.

The most disappointing thing about the whole trip to the doctor’s office was that I didn’t even get to pee in a cup. That’s always the best part about going to the doctor’s office. I know it probably wouldn’t have helped with a diagnosis, but shouldn’t we at least give it a try on the off chance that it would? Maybe my knee hurts because I’m pissing out pieces of my knee’s meniscus and it would have showed up in my urine sample along with traces of excellence. Hey, you never know.

Edit: I Googled Baker Cyst and it turns out the other term I was looking for is Ganglion not Gargamel, however I will continue to refer to the little bugger as Gargamel because it seems more appropriate.

Do you mind if I run with you?

Such was the question posed to me during a recent tempo run while I was paused at an intersection. As I waited for the walk signal to tell me it was time to run again, I was approached by a guy who was probably still excited that he could now legally buy porn and vote, although probably less so the latter. “Do you mind if I run with you?” he asked. I nodded and pointed out which trail I was intending to follow, and then we both obstructed our hearing with our earbuds, bringing our clumsy attempt at socializing to a screeching halt. As we waited for the walk signal he jogged in place and I tried to distance myself from him so that people wouldn’t think that we were together. I used to be one of those people that jogged in place at intersections, but I haven’t done that since this post.

After a few seconds the traffic light turned red, the little white man started flashing (the crosswalk signal, not me) and I took off across the street. I made it safely to the other side and headed on down the trail, moving to the far right so that Junior could run alongside me, but Junior never did. At first I was worried that he hadn’t made it through the busy intersection, but I didn’t want to look back because if he had been hit by a car I’d feel obligated to stop and assist him. If I just kept on running I could pretend I didn’t know that he’d been run over and avoid unnecessarily interrupting my run. Curiosity got the better of me and I glanced back over my shoulder. Fortunately for me, Junior had made it across the street and was 7 or 8 paces behind me. I stayed to the right, expecting him to pull up next to me at any second but he never did.

I glanced back a couple more times and Junior was always 7 or 8 paces behind me. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I told him he could run with me. I glanced down at my watch and was shocked to find that I was running a 7:20 pace, a full minute faster than I was attempting to complete the tempo section of this run. I tried backing off the pace a little but there was something about having company on a run that wouldn’t let me slow down. After a quarter of a mile at this blistering pace (for me anyway) I managed to back the pace down a little and shortly thereafter Junior pulled up next to me. He was flush in the face and visibly winded and it took everything I had not to crack a smile at this realization. I backed off the pace a little more and pulled out an earbud when it looked like he was about to speak, “I’m going to turn around and head a different direction,” he said between gasps for air.
“Okay,” I nodded, “I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah, thanks for letting me run with you,” he said while offering up a fist bump. I tried to return the fist bump, but missed awkwardly as he had already turned to run back the other way and my arms weren’t long enough. I quickly turned the fist into a wave so as not to seem like so much of an idiot - whew, really sidestepped that landmine! I finished the rest of my run grinning from ear to ear. I had run with a younger guy and I had beaten him soundly.

While I’m on the subject of great runs, I had another one on Saturday. It was my first attempt at 16 miles and I chose to run two 6 mile loops and then a 4 mile loop, again attempting to run negative splits. Here’s how it worked out:

1st Loop (6 Miles) - 58:30 (9:45 pace)
2nd Loop (6 Miles) - 56:04 (9:21 pace)
3rd Loop (4 Miles) - 35:56 (8:59 pace)
Total: 16 miles – 2:30:30 (9:25 pace)

My training schedule was calling for me to run this at my intended marathon pace (9:09) + 45 to 60 seconds per mile, but that seems way too slow to be doing my long runs, so again I started at a 9:45 pace and tried to pick it up as I went along. I still felt strong at the end of this run, so it’s possible that I might need to increase the pace a little more on my long runs, but there’s still time for that between now and January.

Splitting it Negative Style

If you are one of those unfortunate souls who reads Nitmos’ blog, Feet Meet Street, then you probably remember a post on Friday in which he discussed the challenge of running negative splits. His rhetoric, *checks dictionary* yes rhetoric, while causing my eyes to bleed a little, also caused me to pause for a moment of introspection (curse you for this, Nitmos!). It caused me to think back to a time when my long runs felt faster and I began to remember that earlier in the year I almost always ran negative splits on my long runs. I even mentioned in this post that I had been setting my Garmin’s digital training partner to the goal pace, letting him get out ahead of me, and then reeling him in over the last half of the run.

After this time of enlightenment and meditation ended on Friday I checked my training plan and saw that it was calling for a 15 mile run at a 9:45 pace on Saturday. Up until Saturday the longest I had ever run was 13.1 miles and my average paces on my last 4 long runs were 10:34, 9:44, 9:34, and 10:15. This has been somewhat frustrating because before the Georgetown Half I was completing long runs at a pace somewhere around 9:15 to 9:20. Nevertheless, I decided that I would attempt this longest run of my life on Saturday using negative splits. The plan was to run two 6 mile loops and a 3 mile loop so that I could consume water and Clif Shot Gels at the end of each loop, freeing me to run without the fuel belt and making me look much cooler. I wanted to run the first loop at the 9:45 pace and then have each loop get progressively faster, here’s how it worked out:

Loop 1 (6mi): 58:28 - 9:45 pace. BAM! Right on target.
Loop 2 (6mi): 55:37 - 9:17 pace. Stay on target. Stay on target.
Loop 3 (3mi): 27:48 - 9:16 pace. Whew! That was close!
Total Time: 2:21:56 - 9:28 pace.

My fastest 2 miles were the 13th and the 14th but then I really crapped out on the final mile which is why the 3rd loop was almost a positive split. All in all I was pleased with this run, but I still have a lot of work to do.

For those of you who don’t remember Nitmos’ post (easily forgiven as it wasn’t very memorable) or who don’t read his blog, this is what he said on Friday:

“I am suggesting that a negative split is the sign of a seasoned, well trained, and developed runner. Either that or someone who started out woefully slower than their ability so had an abundance of energy late.”

I think he just called me a seasoned, well trained, and developed runner. If that doesn’t convince you that Nitmos’ has no idea what he’s talking about then I don’t know what will. I mean, I’m definitely ‘developed’, and you might even say handsome, witty, charming and urbane, *checks dictionary* yes urbane, but seasoned and well trained? Hardly.

Update: Congrats to Viper who finished the Towpath Marathon (his second marathon in as many weeks) with a new PR. As of right now he hasn’t posted about it, but his sidebar has been updated with his new time. Congrats!

Family Night at the Track

Yesterday was one of those days when my training schedule clashed with Candis’ training schedule in that we were both scheduled to run. Since we can’t leave our young children alone I naturally assumed that Candis would run on the treadmill so that I could go run outside when I got home from work, but was disappointed to discover that this wasn’t the case at all. Apparently I’m supposed to be willing to make compromises or something but I don’t remember that being part of our agreement. If I hadn’t taped over our wedding ceremony I’d go back and see what we each vowed to do because I’m pretty sure that Candis’ vows had something in there about bowing to my every whim, but Candis doesn’t remember it that way. Selective memory, I guess.

Since we were both planning on doing some intervals we decided to go to the local track and take the kids with us where they could annoy and get in the way of other runners. We packed some snacks for the boys, gave them a stern lecture about staying out of other people’s way and headed to the track. For the most part the boys were content to sit and watch from the bleachers while Dad ran circles around Mom. They ran a few laps with us when we were running cool down laps and David (my 5 year old) even ran a complete lap with me at a 9:45 pace. The rest of their time was spent shouting “go Mom!” or “go Dad!” or “Mom, can I have this Krispie Treat?” They also practiced their long jump, which is good because they totally suck at it.

Good form, poor distance.
All in all it was a fun evening. The boys ran several laps and got a ton of exercise and Candis didn’t have to run on the treadmill. I really wish we’d thought of this earlier in the summer because it would have been a great way for us to spend time together as a family while Candis and I both got some training in, of course now it’s starting to get dark early and it will be harder and harder to squeeze it in. Perhaps next time we’ll bring a happy meal and our portable DVD player with us so the boys don’t get too much exercise and can fit in better with society. I wouldn’t want them to be outcasts.

When we got home for the evening the major downfall of this plan became immediately evident, which is to say, where the hell is my dinner? You see, usually when I run in the evening my dinner is ready and waiting when I get home, but this was not the case on Tuesday. Moreover, Candis had to put the kids to bed and iron my clothes for work the following day and didn’t even get started on making me dinner until after that. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as famished as I did last night, sitting there on the couch playing Mario Kart Wii.

A Mid Week Long Run? Say It Ain’t So!

This weekend is going to be busy, and I’m not sure that I’ll have time for my regularly scheduled suck-fest otherwise known as my long run. Because I’m so dedicated, I am going to run 12 miles this evening after work and call that my long run for the week. I’ve been working to increase my mileage the past couple of weeks in anticipation of the beginning of the end, otherwise known as my official marathon training plan.

As mentioned previously, I am using the FIRST plan and have decided to blend their two marathon plans together to formulate my very own personalized marathon training plan because I wanted a happy medium between one 20 miler versus five of them. The first timer’s training plan was 18 weeks long and the old timer’s plan was 16 weeks, naturally when I blended them together I opted for a 16 week plan. What this means is that training for the PF Chang’s RNR Arizona Marathon officially begins next Monday, but since I am planning my runs on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I guess it actually begins next Tuesday... unless of course something else comes up and/or I sleep in Tuesday morning and then the training plan begins next Wednesday, but Wednesday’s are no good for me so at that point I’ll just push it back to the following week. This whole rigid training plan is a pretty fluid concept, but I tentatively anticipate that I’ll probably start training sometime next week. Maybe.

What I am sure of is that I’m running 12 miles tonight after work and that it will be a horrifically unpleasant event. I’m so excited I can hardly wait. I hate mid week long runs like Amy Winehouse hates being sober, I hate them like Nitmos hates children. Long runs are much better suited to the weekend. When you do your long run on a weeknight it takes up your whole night, at least it does if you’re as slow as I am. Even more depressing is that I’m totally going to miss the premiere of Lipstick Jungle wait, no, not Lipstick Jungle, I meant to say Knight Rider. Fast cars and violent, action-packed chase scenes, GRRRRRR!