Contrary to what you might think, I’m really not the boisterous, chest thumping, braggart in real life that I portray so well on this blog, at least not entirely. This means that very few people in my office actually know that I’m a runner and fewer still know that I’m running a marathon in a couple of weeks but that will all change when I wear my medal (assuming I earn one) around the office for the remainder of 2009. However, as meetings are planned and schedules are being made for January it has given rise to the question of why I’m taking a couple of days off surrounding the weekend of January 18th. Here’s what I notice when I tell people that I’m running a marathon; their eyes get a little bigger and then they look me up and down as if to say “Really? You are running a marathon?”
I guess it’s because they can’t see the rippling abs beneath my dress shirt and believe me, my abs do ripple. Just the other day I stood shirtless in front of the mirror and watched the ripples radiate from a hearty gut smack all the way up to my neck and back in concentric circles, so maybe they don’t ripple in the traditional sense but they do ripple. OK so I’m being a little facetious. While I haven’t yet been able to put the finishing touches on my granite six pack, I’m also not afflicted with the ol’ Dunlop belly, which is to say that my belly hasn’t “done lopped over” my pants.
So what is it? Why does everyone feel the need to look me up and down like some piece of meat when they discover I’m running a marathon? Is it just because people have this preconceived notion that all marathon runners look like skinny Kenyans? Is it because I don’t have the sunken-eyed, gaunt look of some other fellow runners? Is it because of my muscular build? Is it because I’m too handsome to be a marathoner? Yes. I like to think it is.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I Guess I Don’t Look Like a Runner
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"Really"
ReplyDeleteI hear that comment 95% of the time I tell someone that I run marathons.
Really...
In their heads, your coworkers are thinking, "Well, if HE can do it, surly I can ..."
ReplyDeleteSee? You're inspirational.
"Here’s what I notice when I tell people that I’m running a marathon; their eyes get a little bigger and then they look me up and down as if to say “Really? You are running a marathon?”"
ReplyDeleteI think it's that devilish wit, that smarmy grin, and those shifty eyes that they think..."I will not fall for it this time. No I will not because he's yanking my chain, again."
That or it's because they think only famous, and soon to be famous people run...and of course, those peoplpe are seen on TV which only proves the point.
I think you should start having pics of your running on your desk, along with the collection of victories, and near victories.
Sounds like you need more stretchy banding. Soon those ripples will stay in place when those countless people slug you in the gut. I assume that happens to you a lot.
ReplyDeleteLess than 2 weeks!
You had it right in the first instance: we're all just pieces of meat! Some can simply run 26.2 miles, others can't, but it is the meatiness that unites us all. Good luck on your prep for the race! I suggest you respond to your co-worker's looks with a dismissive, "What? You DON'T run marathons???" The "loser" is implied by the appropriate use of sarcasm, which based on your blog you are most capable of employing at will.
ReplyDeleteI think non-runners just don't believe that "normal" people (like them!) CAN run marathons. You know?
ReplyDeleteOuch. Harsh link, dude. :o)
ReplyDeleteI think wearing the medal the rest of the year should clear things up about your running ability. I'd also get really cheap dress shirts so you can wear your race t under and make double sure people know.
i like the ab rippling part. i'm gonna steal that one! and i also agree with vava, you could totally pull off the sarcastic comment and make all of them feel like losers.
ReplyDeleteYea people just don't think normal people run marathons...that's for those super fast Olympic types or something
ReplyDeletei recommend constructing a new suit for the office - one comprised entirely of used race bibs and safety pins...then they'll know they're in the presence of a runner. If that doesn't do the trick, then just proceed to beat them silly with your medal.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you want to look like a long-distance runner? There's a reason they're famed for their running, not their looks. If you really just want to look like one, start mainlining heroin and just give it a few months.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. I wouldn't mind being capable of swimming like, say, Michael Phelps; but if you ever hear me say, "I'm so impressed by how well he swims that I wish I looked like him," do me a favor and just shoot me through the brainpan.
(But no shooting me through the brainpan until then. I'm not stupid enough to leave that loophole open.)
Honestly? It's because you look like a soccer player. You really, seriously look 100% like a soccer player.
ReplyDeleteDo they say "well, good for you" in a kind of Mrs. Cunningham kind of way. I hate that.
ReplyDeleteI love when people as "WHY?"
ReplyDeleteThat's annoying.
At least when you say you run, you don't get, No? Really?!
ReplyDeleteBut glad you are still running it! And I'm sure your legs would give you away as a runner.
You just leave them speechless -- they don't have a clue what to say. Funny post.
ReplyDeleteAnother name for that affliction that you say you don't have is furniture disease where your chest has fallen into your drawers.
I usually get: "But you're so short! Your little legs must have to work twice as hard!"
ReplyDeleteI always get WHY?! When I say I run.
ReplyDeleteAnd liek your last statement,I know Im too handsome, but what the hell, Ill run, hah
You'll show 'em. You'll show 'em all...
ReplyDeleteSomeone in my office said "I didn't know a marathoner could have anything bigger than a B Cup."
ReplyDeleteSeriously. I've seen some MEN on the course with bigger jugs than some of these chicks.
THERE IS NO MOLD ;-).
Good luck!
HAHAHA gaunt look, poor Nit.
ReplyDeleteHow exciting to be getting close to that starting line.
Yeah, I get that too (she says rolling her eyes). Or, you'll hear "I only run when I'm being chased." People can be so weird..
ReplyDeleteLEss than 2 weeks! I can't wait! Beware of the taper madness...
ReplyDeleteYea, I get that comment all the time. Whatevs... I say we're hot runners, dang it, and I don't care who knows it!
ReplyDeleteThe big race is on the 18th? Does that mean you're running the Rock N Roll Arizona marathon in Phoenix? I'm doing that one as well. I'm looking forward to the fast flat course and all the bands, should be a lot of fun.
ReplyDelete