Last summer I had an incident with a family of cyclists wherein I found myself stuck running amongst them. This led to a chain of events including one of the cyclists falling and me getting buzzed by doucheboy (using buzzed in the non-drinking meaning of the word). It resulted in a very humorous post if I do say so myself and you really ought to check it out if you didn’t catch it the first time. It’s not like you’re doing anything better today, it’s Friday and you’re reading a running blog so I’m guessing that you don’t have ‘meeting in the Oval Office’ or ‘product development call with Steve Jobs’ on your schedule today. I on the other hand do have important stuff on my schedule, things like ‘take long lunch’ and ‘watch last night’s episode of The Office online,’ don’t ruin it for me in the comments or I’ll hunt you down.
Anyway, last night on my tempo run (way better than intervals) I found myself in a similar situation. I was running down the path when I spotted a young family on their bikes up ahead. The father and youngest boy were trailing behind and the mother and older son were waiting for them further up the path. As I passed the slower pair they sped up a little and stayed right on my heels and as the three of us caught up with the faster pair they started pedaling down the path too. So there I was, once again bracketed in by a family of cyclists and they didn’t seem to care. They conversed with each other as though I wasn’t even there and I could feel the young boy behind me (that’s what she said) trying to pass. Since they seemed perfectly content with the situation it was up to me to rectify it.
It was time to teach them a little lesson that I like to refer to as ‘The Vanilla always rises to the top.’ I summoned up a burst of speed, recounted Viper’s rules to passing in my head and then I made my move. It was quick and decisive, I was by them in 3 or 4 steps and I didn’t let up. I kept pushing them further behind me with each step. I didn’t slow down until I rounded the sharp turn roughly 100 yards up the path and I never saw them again after that. Victory was mine! Victory and over-dramatization, both mine!
If you haven’t ever passed a cyclist during a run then you really should because it’s a huge ego boost which is exactly what a modest, unassuming guy like me needs. I recommend that you all go out and pass a cyclist on your runs this weekend, even if it’s just a little girl with pig-tails and training wheels that you pass, it still makes you feel like a world beater.
Premium! Way to execute.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a solid sideways shove will usually take care of those pesky cyclists.
It resulted in a very humorous post
ReplyDeleteI'd like to read that post! Could you provide the link, because you accidentally linked up there to one of YOUR old posts, and you said the post would be humorous, so I know that can't be right.
You know, people accuse me (ahem! Marcy!) of being disturbing with my comments but when you, at Viper's blog today, brought up the image of you and Viper "doing" Intervals at the same time, I was truly tempted to bring up something of my own, viz., my lunch.
So congrats on stealing my crown as the most heebie-jeebie-inducing blogger in the running blogosphere.
I guess I'll just have to be classy from now on.
FYI - Marcy intends to give you a humomgous verbal blow job. She said so at Xenia's blog. I don't think you'll want to share this with Viper.
Talk about ego boosts!
I did that last week except it was a 6 y.o boy next to me. I passed him with authority only to be repassed by him 2 minutes later. Guess he slowed down for his pops. Total FAIL!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I misspoke (mistyped?) You are actually the 4th most popular way that peeps get to my site. The other 3 are referrals from (Reader and Blogger feeds and then direct link) so the first 3 don't really count if we're talking about "new" readers, KWIM? Hence the verbal BJ which I will have to give (sorry Xenia don't cringe) at some point next week :P
So, the kid was just learning to ride, is that what I heard (you said)? If there's a ladybug helmet involved, I'm not sure it 'counts.'
ReplyDeleteI passed a cyclist, of an approximate age of 30, once. Going up a hill, even.
ReplyDeleteI, however, neglected the rules of passing, and was passed half a mile later, with me never to catch up. Probably should have turned around and called it game-set-match.
I think the only biker I've ever passed was probably 70 years old, on a big hill. He was probably going as slow as it's possible to go on a bike without falling over.
ReplyDeleteDid you shoot them a dirty look too? That's what I would have done, but I'm kind of bitchy like that.
ReplyDeleteI've passed a family of cyclists while running - and learned: if the little pig-tailed girl you pass happens to be your very own, you should probably keep the victory & over-dramatization to a minimum. (Dad & teen-aged son are fair game for mocking, though.)
ReplyDeleteI've never been caught by cyclists running, but I have been swallowed by them in my car. That is difficult to extract yourself from.
ReplyDeleteAs a constantly hormonal twenty-something female with no kids of my own, I'm pretty sure I look at other people's children like I'm going to lure them to my house-made-of-candy. I've passed families of bicyclists, but the parents always seem to look at me nervously, then quickly urge their children to turn around or go another way. Works for me.
ReplyDeletePffft...in my world, there is generally no passing whatsoever. Only being passed. Although, I did actually pass my first runner last Sunday. He was tall, middle-aged, and appeared to have just jumped back on the running bandwagon. So, it didn't count. I would have rather passed a 4 year old with training wheels and a pink helmet.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm cringing. On so many levels...
ReplyDeletenice tempo run, and wtg on schooling an entire family on bikes!
ReplyDeleteDoes passing an old woman in a walker being assisted by a slightly younger, but still older woman than I, count?
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog - hilarious. I regularly run on bike paths and have definitely had visions of all of a sudden leaping sideways upon an unsuspecting obnoxious biker. I joyfully imagine the startled and appalled look on their face just before we both smash brokenly into the dust. Ok, so maybe only the first part of that vision is cool.
ReplyDeleteMan, I need to watch last nights Office. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteFirst, Glaven writes
ReplyDelete"FYI - Marcy intends to give you a humomgous verbal blow job. She said so at Xenia's blog. I don't think you'll want to share this with Viper.
Talk about ego boosts!"
THEN, Marcy, immediately following the Glaven/Viper/Marcy/B.J. comment shown above, writes
"I did that last week except it was a 6 y.o boy next to me."
Thank you SOOOOO much for clarifying in the rest of your post, Marcy!
So, this BookCliff wine is amazing. You won't be disapponted. If you are, I'll drink the rest of the bottle.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that Michael put five 10% off "golden tickets" int the shipment that went out to their biggest customer! And then, when things backfired, Dwight took the credit!
PS-This comment contains an Office SPOILER