Earlier this month when we were enjoying 60+ degree temperatures here in Denver I happily gloated and waived our fine weather in the faces of those of you residing in states that were gripped by snow and ice. It will probably bring you a great deal of pleasure to know that these past few days (the first days of Spring) we’ve been feeling the sting of colder temperatures and my cross training has taken the form of digging out my driveway, building a snowman, and whitewashing 4 and 5 year olds. By the way, whitewashing 4 and 5 year olds is way more rewarding All of this snow and cold can only mean one thing: Old Man Winter reads Half-Fast and I have taunted him into kicking me in the pants. Fantastic. Well you know what, Old Man Winter? You can get bent! You’re not fooling anyone with this late season snow, your days are numbered and I will dance on your grave when the time comes. (Parenthetical side note: Totally nailed the correct usage of ‘you’re’ and ‘your’ in that sentence. You really have to understand their meanings to see that they’re used correctly there. (Second parenthetical side note: ‘Their,’ ‘they’re’ and ‘there’ also used correctly! High Five!) Totally makes up for the redundancy of pointing out that something inside parentheses was parenthetical.) Where was I? Oh yes, Old Man Winter. Suck it!
If you think that a little snow and wind is going to keep me from running then you’re not paying attention. Did you not see the post about YakTrax? Do you not know that I have a treadmill? I laugh in the face of cold weather and I scoff at your measly 4 - 5 inches. I’ll start forwarding you some e-mails that promise to help you grow to 10 - 12 inches, but even then I’ll keep running, and do you know why? Because I’m unstoppable. I’m like a bad run on sentence or the Enegizer bunny.
Anniversary
Wednesday will be the 2 year anniversary of Half-Fast, so be sure to stop by on Wednesday and if you haven’t already started shopping for a gift then you had better get on it. This is not the kind of blog that is going to let you off easy if you forget its anniversary. And don’t even think about showing up here on Wednesday with a card and a gift certificate. Put some thought into it, if you haven’t been able to figure out what gift this blog wants from its subtle hints then I don’t think you really love it at all. What? Is there someone else? Who is she? WHO IS SHE?
Snow on my car this morning. That bastard Old Man Winter better get the hell out of Ohio soon.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what whitewashing is, but I know I'm kind of creeped out.
congratulations on mastering 3rd grade grammar.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you need you need yet another sponsor for 2 years of your (correct usage)"awesomeness".
Love the grammar lesson!
ReplyDeleteNice usage of your and you're. Pet peeve of mine when people get those wrong; not to mention 'to' and 'too', and of course clangers like 'I would of went' instead of 'I would have gone...'
ReplyDeleteOld Man Winter is still pissed about your free shoes too.
ReplyDeleteThe traditional 2nd anniversary gift is cotton. Your heavy-weight cotton running shirt will be in the mail shortly...
ReplyDeleteYou also correctly used "its," way to go!
ReplyDeleteI bet you wish you were back in England enjoying the incessant rain and gray skies right about now.
ReplyDeleteSee, I always think that if I'm nice to Old Man Winter, he'll go bother someone else.
ReplyDeleteI see from your post they're that your not taking that route, though.
Since I just started reading your blog you probably won't get a gift this year but probably just a high five and nice blog.
ReplyDeleteWe have to at least have a drink or smoke a cigarette together first before I start giving gifts. LOL....
I think Old Man Winter is having a full out war with us North Dakotan's.... we received almost 16 inches in the past 24 hours here...
ReplyDeleteYay for Yak Trax! Just used mine a few days ago as the blizzard remnants still clung to roads, sidewalks, and trails. Can't wait for Wednesday. Thanks for the subtle reminder!
ReplyDeleteClearly, you have learned grammar wisdom from Cranky Fitness:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.crankyfitness.com/2009/03/workout-dvds-for-kids-also-grammar.html
K Dude, if you want to piss of Ole Man Winter and bring down the wrath on your part of the world, but don't screw it up for the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteGood job distinguishing between contractions and posessive pronouns. Next stop? Distinguishing between "than" and "that." Don't worry they're hard ones ;)
ReplyDeleteGlad Jess pointed out the "than" and "that" mistake. It would be tragic if someone failed to notice a mistake by an author who so boldly grandstands about his grammatical skillz.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your 2 year anniversary. I'll send you some old cotton socks.
Happy Anniversary Vanilla, and good job on getting that GED that helped you with your grammar :)
ReplyDeleteYou know that correct use of "your" and "you're" makes my heart go pitter pat. And "their," "there," and "they're?" Ohhhhh, yes.
ReplyDelete"I scoff at your measly 4 - 5 inches."
ReplyDeleteThat's what SHE said.
High five!