Taper Gladness

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read about runners suffering from Taper Madness, a case of the crazies resulting from running less during the 2 weeks leading up to a marathon. I guess that’s what makes me different from a lot of other runners because I’m suffering from Taper Gladness. I’m loving all of this running less. I just checked my schedule and discovered that tomorrow’s run is a 3 mile tempo run with a couple of easy miles thrown in for good measure and it warmed the cockles of my oversized heart. Sayonara 8 - 10 mile tempo runs, arrivederci track repeats, hasta la vista 30+ mile weeks, adios laddering intervals, and au revoir long runs. You see, running sucks, ergo running less puts me in a cheery mood, so much so that I am inspired to break out in song as though this post was some kind of musical:

“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu”

Ahhh yes. I am in a delightful mood this morning. I’m in such a good place right now that I might even flush the toilet in the office bathroom after I use it. I’ll even make some more coffee if I finish the pot in the break room. Yes, life is grand today.

I suppose that this Taper Gladness is a testament to how burned out I’ve been on my long runs of late. It seems as though every long run over the last couple of months has been done in windy conditions. It’s the one thing I didn’t take into consideration when deciding to train for a marathon in the winter months, which was stupid of me because I hate running in the wind with a passion, I hate it the way that Oprah hates the way she looks again. It also occurs to me that this is normally my off-season. Usually as December rolls around I stop running for specific paces and training goals and start going on leisurely jogs, nothing more than a quick calorie purge before the next holiday party binge. I thought that my off-season could wait until mid January this year, but it turns out that I miss it more than I thought I would. You could even say that I miss it like Oprah misses her skinny jeans. What I don’t miss is all that running, I’m glad that it’s taper time and I’m actually looking forward to this marathon again. After all, the end of the marathon marks the beginning of my off-season.

And before anyone asks, no, I’m not bilingual, that was just a phase I went through in college. Wait, no! I’m talking about the French class I took in college, I swear it only happened once and I didn’t even like it, I’ve been strictly heterolingual ever since.

SY5K Update
The Shave Your 5K results are still being tabulated, (read: I haven’t gotten around to it yet) but I am planning on announcing the winners and posting the full results on Monday, January 12th.

Tapering Suuuuucks!

[by Candis, because Ian was just going to leave that disgusting post at the top of the page.]

Last week my training schedule called for a decrease in mileage, this week a decrease in mileage again and a decrease in intensity. I have heard other runners complain that they hate tapering because they miss running or because they have this running itch that they just need to scratch. Screw that.

You want to know why tapering sucks? Let me enlighten you...

• Long John Silvers
• Cappuccino Heath Blizzard
• Multiple Cosmopolitan Nights

Now you should know, I don’t normally eat like this (ok other than the cosmos) but now that I’m tapering my eating as well as my running for the upcoming Bolder Boulder 10k, it’s ALL I can think about!

I average 25 miles a week, at an estimated 120 calories per mile this means I get 3,000 calories. I don’t consume them all, but I don’t obsessively watch what I eat- especially after a 10 mile run. I’ve been a runner for 2 years. For those of you who don’t know, I’m also an asthmatic, which is part of the lure to be a kick ass running machine. Needless to say crispy, greasy Long John Silvers is not a normal part of my diet- but I love it (don’t gag, you probably have your own ‘this-will-cost-me-10-seconds’ fat food). Guess what, if I want it, I EAT IT! But this week I will run 8 miles total and that devil scale called me slow this morning!

Non runners often ask why I would want to run so much. My brother’s skinny girlfriend even had the nerve to tell me she’d never even walked 10 miles (bite me). I have come up with lots of reasons, much like the Miss America answers...

• To kick Asthma’s butt
• To fight heart disease
• Because I have 2 boys (running is hours of an abandoned husband)

But my #1 reason that took me 2 years to realize (I’m not a fast learner- don’t mock): refined sugar, white flour, high fat, sodium overload splurges. Our family is on an increasingly healthy wheat, whole grain, high fruit and vegetable diet and this is going to open the gates for widespread temptation. Running for food is as good a reason as any. I think it was Amy Lawson who once said that she ran 40 miles a week because that was easier than saying no to baked goods and I’m totally with her. 40 miles a week huh? Just imagine all the food I could eat at that mileage.

Tempo Run

Despite having made my feelings about treadmills clear, last night I ran on ours because I was scheduled to do a tempo run and it’s much easier to control my speed on the treadmill. You don’t even have to think about how fast you’re running and ‘not thinking’ is something that I’m good at. I began with a mile warm up at a 10:30 minute mile pace. Then I did six tempo miles at a 9 minute mile pace (which is my goal pace for the upcoming Bolder Boulder) and finished with a cool down mile at 10:30 pace again.

While it was encouraging to run 6 miles at close to my goal pace it was a little discouraging how tired it made me feel and I couldn’t escape the thought that if I’d have been running outside I would have slowed down. As I mentioned, the good thing about the treadmill (if there is one) is that when you set it to a 9 minute mile pace you have to keep running at that speed or you fall off the back and hurt yourself. Especially, if you live dangerously like I do and don’t clip the safety key/kill switch to your shirt. I find that living on the edge like that keeps me sharp. I’ll leave my seatback slightly reclined during takeoff and landing without batting an eyelid, and I even signed the waiver on the back of my race bib without reading it! You know what I waived? Me either! Seriously, I didn’t read it and I think I’m the better for it.

With this tempo run over my tapering has officially started (see previous post) and that really sucks because it means that I’m running less which in turn means that I’m burning less calories than I’m used to. I have more free time because I’m not running as often or as far in the evenings, but the one thing that I do to fill my free time is eat, and that’s going to hurt me.

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