Taper Gladness

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read about runners suffering from Taper Madness, a case of the crazies resulting from running less during the 2 weeks leading up to a marathon. I guess that’s what makes me different from a lot of other runners because I’m suffering from Taper Gladness. I’m loving all of this running less. I just checked my schedule and discovered that tomorrow’s run is a 3 mile tempo run with a couple of easy miles thrown in for good measure and it warmed the cockles of my oversized heart. Sayonara 8 - 10 mile tempo runs, arrivederci track repeats, hasta la vista 30+ mile weeks, adios laddering intervals, and au revoir long runs. You see, running sucks, ergo running less puts me in a cheery mood, so much so that I am inspired to break out in song as though this post was some kind of musical:

“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu”

Ahhh yes. I am in a delightful mood this morning. I’m in such a good place right now that I might even flush the toilet in the office bathroom after I use it. I’ll even make some more coffee if I finish the pot in the break room. Yes, life is grand today.

I suppose that this Taper Gladness is a testament to how burned out I’ve been on my long runs of late. It seems as though every long run over the last couple of months has been done in windy conditions. It’s the one thing I didn’t take into consideration when deciding to train for a marathon in the winter months, which was stupid of me because I hate running in the wind with a passion, I hate it the way that Oprah hates the way she looks again. It also occurs to me that this is normally my off-season. Usually as December rolls around I stop running for specific paces and training goals and start going on leisurely jogs, nothing more than a quick calorie purge before the next holiday party binge. I thought that my off-season could wait until mid January this year, but it turns out that I miss it more than I thought I would. You could even say that I miss it like Oprah misses her skinny jeans. What I don’t miss is all that running, I’m glad that it’s taper time and I’m actually looking forward to this marathon again. After all, the end of the marathon marks the beginning of my off-season.

And before anyone asks, no, I’m not bilingual, that was just a phase I went through in college. Wait, no! I’m talking about the French class I took in college, I swear it only happened once and I didn’t even like it, I’ve been strictly heterolingual ever since.

SY5K Update
The Shave Your 5K results are still being tabulated, (read: I haven’t gotten around to it yet) but I am planning on announcing the winners and posting the full results on Monday, January 12th.