Random Friday Musings

On Wednesday I was going to go running after I got home from work because I’d been up late the previous night and elected ‘the pillow’ over ‘the morning run.’ Balloting was done by snooze button. Final vote: Pillow 9 – Morning Run 0. When I got home from work it was below freezing outside and I had already made up my mind that I was going to run on the treadmill. I was only scheduled for an easy 4 miler and I was in no mood to be cold. Then something happened.

It began snowing. All of a sudden I knew I needed to be out running in it. I don’t know why I needed to, I just did. Maybe because I knew it would make me look hardcore, maybe just to show the weather that I wasn’t scared of it. Does anyone else ever get motivated to go running because of worse weather? Maybe this is one of the addictions that I should have warned new runners about.

For those of you who are less observant, I’ve added a Shave Your 5K tab at the top of the page. Right now it just links to the Shave Your 5K post but pretty soon it will link to a table of everyone’s stubble times so that you can see how they’re doing. I’ll have some more announcements about this in the next week or two.

I went running this morning and almost forgot to put on something reflective. It would have been tragically ironic if I’d have been hit by a car after my post on Wednesday, not to mention the hassle it would have caused some poor motorist. Alanis Morissette could have written a song about it.

Don’t Inconvenience Me

I found this letter to the editor posted at Tracy Press. It is from a concerned citizen encouraging runners to wear reflective clothing when out at dark, and describes an incident where the concerned citizen almost ran over a runner they didn’t see. According to the letter, the runner was wearing “a dark hooded sweatshirt and dark pants” and it was 6:50am which presumably means that it was dark out.

First of all let me address the main point of the letter. I agree wholeheartedly that if you’re going to be out running in the dark or even at dawn or dusk you should be wearing reflective gear. Most runners I know (myself included) go overboard with this. Before I run in the dark I try and make myself more reflective than a disco ball and just as cool. The thought of getting hit by a car is more than a little unpleasant, which is why I wear reflective shoes, reflective pants, a reflective shirt, reflective gloves and of course the ensemble wouldn’t be complete without my über-cool reflective slap bands. Am I making my point that I agree with the main thrust of the letter; that you should be reflective when you run in the dark? Good. Now onto the part of the letter that rubbed me the wrong way, not at all like a genie in a bottle. The letter ends with the following sentence:

“I would like to be able to get to work without having to call the police because I hit or killed a neighbor.”

Yes, that would be very inconvenient for you to have to be late for work just because of the minor little detail that you killed someone. I thought that being safe was reason enough to run in my reflective underpants, but you’re absolutely right, it hadn’t even occurred to me how inconvenient my death would be for the person that hit me. Why, they might be a good half hour late for work, not to mention the ongoing nuisance of having to beat back those vehicular manslaughter charges.

Oh and in case you’re wondering, the reflective underpants are precautionary so that I can still be seen if my pants fall off somewhere along the way and I don’t notice it. They’re not so much reflective as they are glow-in-the-dark. Can we all please stop picturing me in my underwear now and focus on the issue at hand?

REFLECTIVE UPDATE: Cyclist tasered by cop for not having proper lighting on his bike at night.

Holla at a Runner When You See Him in the Street

Whenever I’m in my car driving to and from work, or driving to and from the donut shop and I see a runner, I always get this tremendous urge to yell something encouraging to them. “Keep going!” “You can do it!” “Great job!” Fortunately for all you Denver based runners out there I usually manage to smother that urge. I realize that the runner won’t know that I’m also a runner, will think I’m mocking them, or won’t hear me over their iPod anyway.

I’ve had people shout things at me occasionally from their cars while I’ve been running, usually things like “go faster,” or “good job,” or “hey, that track’s not open to the public!” More often than not it happens when I run past the high school and it almost always annoys me more than it motivates me. Why then do I feel so compelled to yell at fellow runners when I see them? Perhaps it’s because when I see someone running, I wish that I could be out there running instead of whatever is taking up my time at that moment. Perhaps it’s because I feel a sense of kinship with the runner and want to encourage them to give it their best today, or perhaps I’m just an emotionally stunted jerk who enjoys making others miserable.

Most days when I’m on my way home from work I drive past a lady running up this really steep, long hill. It seems like she’s always out there running, and she always inspires me to get out and run if I haven’t already. A few weeks ago, I arrived home from work early (unless my boss reads this blog in which case it was definitely a Saturday) and I decided to go for a run. I was running down the aforementioned hill (because Momma didn’t raise no dummy) and I passed her coming up. I didn’t realize that it was her until we were already passing each other. We both smiled and nodded politely and I almost wished that I’d stopped her to tell her that she was an inspiration to me, that I always saw her out running this hill. Upon further reflection, I was glad that I didn’t have a chance to say anything. I probably would have fumbled for the right words and then ended up getting a face full of pepper spray when I said “I watch you run everyday and wanted you to know that you arouse me... wait, no... inspire, I meant inspire…”

I guess I’ll just stick to smiling and waving at fellow runners, but if the blond chick with the ponytail who always runs the big hill east of the golf course happens to be reading this, then just know that you arouse me.

Despite the title of this post, Half-Fast does not endorse shouting at runners from your car no matter what your intentions are. Also, please remember that when you see someone running from your car, you’re probably driving on the sidewalk.

Weekend Splits

Weekend Splits is my recap of things that I found interesting or humorous over the past week. If you have a submission for the weekend splits e-mail me.

Image found stolen at SJ Tony’s blog.

I didn’t get the splits post up last weekend because I was nestled away at my in-law’s mountain log cabin. It’s a quaint little place up near Grand Lake, CO and if it weren’t for two snow-crazed children and me going into withdrawals from the lack of internet access I’m sure it would have been quite romantic. Anyway this week’s Splits post will contain some links from this past week, and one or two from the previous week.

Kelly over at Fitness Fixation posted about the differences between men and women and how we need vastly different workouts and diets. Except not. Head on over there and check it out and maybe ask her why her blog isn’t pink, you know, since she’s a woman. I dare ya’.

Christine admitted that she has an addiction, and that’s the first step, admitting that you have a problem. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in this post earlier in the week it’s too late for Christine since she already has a running blog. Oh, and when you go over there try not to get too excited about the more recent post titled “I Got Double D’s” it was a good post and all, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t immensely disappointed.

lifestudent had a post that featured a quote from The Onion. I’m a sucker for the Onion, the satirical paper not the nasty vegetable, those things are disgusting. The only way to acceptably prepare an onion for consumption is to make it into a Funyun. Mmmmm delicious, they’re probably not even made with real onions, which is a major plus point for them in my book.

Doug is helping smokers quit one dropped cigarette at a time and I don’t even think the guy thanked him.

Pat posted a link on his blog to Scott Dunlap’s compilation of great race finish videos.

Random Non-Running Related Video of the Week
I’m going to warn you right now that you should mute your speakers before you watch this video. The guys are speaking some foreign language that sounds Eastern European, but right around the 14 second mark the camera operator tries his hand at English and shouts “Mother-f***er!” Probably something he learned watching a movie, that and his actions in the video just confirm my suspicions that we’re exporting stupidity to Eastern Europe now.

I'm having some difficulties getting the video to embed the way I want it to, so until I get it fixed here’s a link.

Have a great weekend everyone!

I Think I Can...

I’ve never claimed that Half-Fast is motivational or inspirational or any other kind of -ational. This has been a tough week to get runs in for some reason which is why my mileage for the week is 0, and probably why my other two posts this week have been focused on drinking and quitting. Drinking and quitting sounds really good right about now.

I found this poem in one of my kid’s books that adequately sums up my mood. It’s from Shel Silverstein’s book Where The Sidewalk Ends and is titled The Little Blue Engine.

The little blue engine looked up at the hill.
His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.
He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,
And his face blushed red as he softly said,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

So he started up with a chug and a strain,
And he puffed and pulled with might and main.
And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time,
And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh,
With an extra hope and an extra try,
He would not stop - now he neared the top -
And strong and proud he cried out loud,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!”

He was almost there, when - CRASH! SMASH! BASH!
He slid down and mashed into engine hash
On the rocks below... which goes to show
If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just ain’t enough!

Advice for a New Runner

So you’re a beginning runner looking for some sage advice, you’re searching for some tips or guidelines. It’s hardly surprising that your pursuit has led you to Half-Fast as it is widely considered the definitive runner’s how-to. Bookmark the site now as your source for advice, motivation, and training techniques all spilled forth in an honest forthright manner.

Perhaps taking up running was one of your resolutions and you have some questions about races, or training, or running shoes, or how many miles to run, or how many days to run. But stop right there. You're already getting ahead of yourself, let me first give you one universal piece of advice that should be heeded by all new runners: Quit.

That’s right, just quit. Seriously. Just stop before you get addicted. Leave now while you still can. It’s too late for me, heck it’s too late for most of the regulars who read and comment here at Half-Fast, but it’s not too late for you rookie runner with the brand spankin’ new shoes. Save yourself while you still can. You’ll save yourself hundreds of dollars in race fees, technical running gear, cold weather gear, hot weather gear, reflective gear, rain gear not to mention the amount of money you’ll end up spending replacing your running shoes every 400 - 500 miles.

You’ll feel guilty when you skip a run. Your toenails will turn black and fall off, and what’s even worse is that you’ll be happy about it as though it was some sick rite of passage. Your grocery budget will be consumed by gels and Gatorade. You’ll get so obsessive about your mileage, your pace, and your heart rate that you’ll spend hours pouring over your training log. You’ll need to purchase a Garmin (another couple hundred dollars at least) to keep better track of your training runs and to analyze your running in greater depth. People will look at you like you’re crazy because you ARE crazy for thinking about taking up running.

You’ll start reading running blogs, then you’ll start commenting on running blogs, and before you know it you’ll start your own running blog. Your chief worry will be what you’re going to blog about if you don’t run, and you’re going to have to be consistent with your blogging in order to make “blogging running friends.” These folks will be important to you when you keep blowing off your other friends’ invitations to go out for drinks because you have a run scheduled and you’re abstaining from alcohol until after your next race. Oh yeah, and then there’s that whole abstaining from alcohol prior to a race idiocy. Don’t even get me started on that.

You’re thinking “no, it won’t happen to me. I can quit whenever I want to, I won’t fall that deeply into it.” You fool. It already has happened to you. You’re already past the point of no return. Need further proof? You’re still here reading this post aren’t you? Wouldn’t a sensible person have left long ago, somewhere around the missing toenails and the abstaining from alcohol?

Welcome to the club... sucker. Now go start a blog already.

I’m sure that the regulars here can also provide some additional “advice” for you in the comments.

CLIF Bar® Releases A New Recovery Drink

I was at the liquor store earlier this morning, as I often am on weekdays, preparing to honor Martin Luther King Jr. Day when I came across the following:

I took the picture on my camera phone so you’ll have to forgive the image quality (as always you can click to enlarge).

That is a bottle of 2003 vintage kit’s killer cab from the CLIF Bar Family Winery. You can read more about the CLIF Bar family wines at their website http://www.cliffamilywinery.com/. Kit’s killer cab is described on the website as “deep red in color with floral aromas of vanilla, dense ripe fruit and spicy nuances of black raspberry. The palate is vibrant and concentrated with flavors of chocolate, mocha and dried cherries that lead to a soft, velvety and lingering finish.”

I don’t know about all that, but then again I’m no sommelier. What I can tell you is that it makes for a fantastic recovery drink. After a quick run this afternoon I was feeling a little soreness in my legs and decided to try out my newly found sports drink, my Cabern-ade Sauvignon. This stuff works great! I was barely done with the bottle when I realized that I had completely forgotten about the pain in my legs. In fact I had completely forgotten about the run, I had even forgotten why I was drinking this delightful recovery elixir in the first place, and why the room was spinning.

At $36.99 a bottle it’s a little bit more pricey than the Gatorades, Powerades, and Accelerades of the world, but I’m still going to give it my full endorsement. The CLIF Bar kit’s killer cab receives the official Half-Fast seal of approval. The only upgrade that I would recommend would be to add some kind of a sport nozzle to the bottle.

In case you’re thinking that I’m an idiot for calling a 2003 vintage a ‘new release’ in my headline, well, you may be right but I couldn’t really care less what you think. I guess that’s one of the other benefits of the CLIF Bar cab.

Video Friday

Today I’m breaking out Video Friday, lots of videos, not much typing. You get all the laughs and enjoyment that you’ve come to expect here at Half-Fast, and I get to write less. It’s a win - win situation. The good news is that I think most of these videos are actually related to running in some shape or form.

The first video was posted a couple of days ago by Frayed Laces.



I think I first saw this next video on Orange Trails.



LOL!!!!! OMG was that Lance? OMG I totally <3 Lance!!!!!!!11!! He’s teh GOAT!!!11!!!!!

Personally, I’m with the customer in that last video. I thought a little light cardio sounded pretty good. Have you ever tried to run on a treadmill after “feeding the warrior 20lbs?” No thank you.



I’ve never ridden for 23 days on a bike nor would I care too, but even I know how nice it is when something is flat. Oh yeah, and by the way if you don’t care for Lance Armstrong that much then you can probably just skip the rest of the videos. I’m not his biggest fan, but he sure is a funny guy.


And finally I leave you with one that is less funny and more motivational. Enjoy.

Back to Asics

Despite the fact that my Mizunos only have 325 miles on them, they are just killing the balls of my feet on longer runs and they have been for quite some time. When I told the guy at the running store this he agreed with me that Mizunos do in fact “suck more than the suckiest suck that ever sucked!” I think that was the technical term that he used. We also agreed that anyone who likes Mizunos is a good for nothing, low-life, under-achieving simpleton. I know from your comments and blogs that many of you just love your Mizunos so I’m sorry that you had to hear that from me. It must be tough to find out the sad truth about yourselves from a blog.

OK, maybe Mr. Running Shoe Guru said something more along the lines of the Mizunos being designed for a heel-striker, and that I would break them down a lot faster as I have become more of a forefoot runner since I bought them. Maybe he said that they were good shoes for some folks but just not for me. I was reading between the lines, I know what he meant.

One thing that I think we can all agree on is that buying new shoes is like runner’s crack. I get high off it and I don’t want to stop at just one pair. I tried on so many different shoes last night that I simply couldn’t make up my mind which ones to buy. I was like the over-sympathetic dog lover picking out a puppy at the pound. “Can’t I just take them all home?”

I finally bonded with a pair of the new Asics 2130 GTs and thought that I was done, but the store carried them in several different colors. Running is not just about being fast it’s also about looking good, so choosing the right color shoe is just as important as choosing the right type of shoe (motion control, stability, cushioning, trail etc.). I settled on the blue and white ones that you see in the picture.

I’m excited to run in my new shoes, I’m excited to be going back to Asics as I have had good success with them in the past, but most of all I’m excited for my balls not to ache after long runs... balls of my feet... the balls of my feet ache after long runs!

Shave Your 5K Amendment

If you haven’t read the initial Shave Your 5K post then you should start there, this is merely an amendment that seems destined to turn into a full blown Bill of Rights.

Several people have mentioned that they are having difficulty finding a 5K during these brutal winter months. If you are one of those people who cannot find a 5K to run before March 31st and you didn’t run one in December ’07 (remember the stubble time window extends back to December ’07) then I will make an exception for you and for Katie Holmes. (Seriously, Katie call me.)

Keep in mind that the longer you wait to run your 5K, the less time you will have to get faster by the end of the year. In that vein, I will give you as long as you need to run your stubble time 5K. I’m going to stick to my original decision that your smooth time 5K must be run in November or December because there tends to be a lot of races during that time of the year.

I like to think that Half-Fast is an EOB (equal opportunity blog) so if any of you SOBs have any other issues with this challenge you can shove them up... e-mail me and I will do what I can to make things easier for you. That’s what I’m here for you know, to make your life easier.

All joking aside, I’d hate for someone to not enter the challenge based on a technicality, so I’m more open to making concessions than a Vegas club owner when Lohan hits the Strip.

That’s all for today, I’m off to buy a new pair of running shoes. Yipee!