How Bad Do You Want It?

I can’t really explain why I like this video so much, but I thought it was worth sharing. It makes me want to go run hard, and that’s never a bad thing. I’m even considering downloading the mp3 to play on my iPod when I run.
 

 Hat tip: theCHIVE

Running Infographic: Men vs. Women

You know what the problem is with all these infographics? It’s that they’re too easy to consume. They’re put together with lots of pretty pictures to distract you and then lazy bloggers post them because it makes for a fun, easy post with minimal writing involved. We just accept everything we see on these charts as FACT and that’s a dangerous thing to do, which is why I did a lot of research before posting the infographic below. OK, that’s a blatant lie. I just ooooohhed and aaaaahhed at the pretty colors and posted it without a second thought. That’s how I roll here at Half-Fast.

Enjoy.


Brought to you by Running Music 
So, why did they title it Sports Bras vs. Speedos? Who runs in Speedos? I might have to try it, they’ve got to be more comfortable than running in these cargo shorts.

Running: Yeah, I do that

I should probably talk a little bit about how my running is going lately since I’ve talked about everything but that since my return to blogging.  I took an extended break from running due to laziness and life getting in the way. In December I was busy with year end stuff at work and after work parties and family holiday commitments and shopping and a short family vacation and on and on it went. When January finally got here it seemed like a good time to reset my priorities and get back to running regularly except I got sick and felt like crap for 3 weeks.  (Doesn’t that always happen at exactly the wrong time?)  Anyway, all this is to tell you that I’ve been running very little.  This past week I managed 12 total miles and felt good about it because it was more mileage than I had run in any of the previous 7 to 8 weeks.  But I’m finally feeling good enough to run and I’m planning on doing a lot more of it.

The good news in this whole situation is that the running I have been doing I’ve been doing in a weighted vest. Actually it’s not so much a weighted vest as it is an extra layer of fat that I’ve attained from not running.  Nitmos has his “cheeto layer” and I have my “weighted vest.”  Of course I can’t just take off my weighted vest when I’m done running so I end up doing everything in my “weighted vest” during the cold winter months and I mean everything.  Candis is so lucky to have me.  To make up for not running I have been regularly participating in a rigorous core workout, if you’ll accept coughing until my eyeballs pop out and my abs lock up as a rigorous core workout.

I’ve also started logging my runs again.  I quit doing that sometime last year which was probably a bad sign.  I got myself the Runkeeper App which is pretty cool and I’ve been using it to track and analyze all my runs this year.  It seems to be pretty accurate although I swear I’ve heard it snicker when telling me my average pace on at least a couple of occasions.

Run!

Do you ever keep watching a video over and over and you’re not sure why? Yeah, this video is kind of like that. I’m not sure why I like it so much, perhaps it’s the awesome title or the music. Or perhaps it’s the fact that it caters to my short attention span and my need to be entertained without having to invest too much of my valuable time.



On a running note, I plan to complete Razz’s GW,MA!6.66MR tonight so I should have a “race report” (air quotes!) ready to go for tomorrow morning... or tomorrow afternoon... or the next day, or whenever I feel like getting around to it. What are you, my boss? Get off my back already!

Half-Fast Friday

Today I’m introducing a new regularly recurring feature here at Half-Fast called updating your blog Half-Fast Friday. Here’s how it’s going to work: Friday’s post will be Half-Fast, phonetically speaking. This will make Friday’s post much easier for me to write and I deserve to take it easy on Friday. You know what? So do you. Some Fridays I’ll probably take it so easy that it will look like there’s no post at all, but don’t be fooled, you’re probably just tired from a long week at work. Take a nap and come back later.

For those of you wondering whether or not my neighbors responded to my open letter on Tuesday, they did. Well, most of them did but there’s always one. Just take a look at the minefield of snow and ice that I had to navigate through in front of this one Jerkwad’s house. It’s a wonder I survived!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Hey, I Know Her

As many of you have probably heard by now the renowned Kristina Pinto who blogs over at Marathon Mama had an article featured in Runner’s World magazine. It’s available at newsstands everywhere so go and check it out. It’s on page 48 and it’s a great read, not that you would expect anything less if you follow Kristina’s blog.

It’s kind of cool opening up Runner’s World and seeing an article written by someone you know, and I use the word ‘know’ in the internet/social media/talked once on the phone for a podcast sense of the word not in the biblical sense. Probably not quite as cool as opening up RW and seeing an article written by someone that is yourself, but until RW starts focusing on juvenile humor, sarcasm and lazy writing it will have to do. (Incidentally, I think RW could use a little juvenile humor and sarcasm; it would be a nice change of pace from all the ‘10 weeks to your fastest 10k’ articles that they love.)

That’s all I got for today. Have a great weekend everyone!

Blegh!

Last week my 6 year old brought home something special from school, I believe the technical term for it is H1N1. Not officially confirmed (though there have been confirmed H1N1 cases at his school) but at the very least we all have some flu-ey type of virus thing. It sucks.

Combine that with the week (OK, fine two weeks) that I took off from running after the Denver Half Marathon and it’s been almost three weeks since I’ve run. On the bright side I can’t wait to get back to it. That’s about all I feel like typing today so enjoy this video of NYC Marathon winner Meb Keflezighi reading the Top 10 on Letterman. I stole it from Mike at Running Is Funny. (Shhhhh. Don’t tell.)

I think my favorites are #4 and #5.

Party’s Over

You’ll be pleased to know that the pity party here at Half-Fast has come to a close. After two days of wallowing in my failure and moping around the house I finally went and ran again last night. We dragged our children (drug? - or is that a different parenting technique) to the local middle school track and forced them to sit on the hot metal bleachers and yell encouraging things as Candis and I did some 800s because we like to make it hurt so good.

In the past I’ve written some disparaging things about intervals but last night it was just what the doctor ordered, assuming the doctor is a sadistic prick who wants to hurt you. If runners were emo, intervals would be how we cut ourselves.

Surprisingly, it felt good to be out there struggling for breath. It felt good to push my legs to the point of exhaustion. It felt good to hurt myself and I couldn’t help but wonder if this is the same feeling or high that emo people get when they carve stuff into their arms. It was like I was connecting to them on their level, but without the skinny jeans.

Reaching your limits in training is what helps you to push them back, and that’s just what I needed last night. That and a good psychological evaluation but one out of two ain’t bad, right?

You know what your long run needs?

You know what would make the miles just melt away on your long run this weekend? A hilarious running podcast to listen to, but in the event that you can’t find one you could always listen to the latest episode of Banned on the Run. It’s full of awkward silences that will make you think that your iPod battery has died and will also totally throw off your pace. You don’t have to thank us, we do it for the joy we get out of it.

From your comments on yesterday’s post I gather that no one wants to listen to me whine and complain about running in the heat, and if that’s the case then you’re not going to like what’s coming. I went out yesterday for a 6 miler in the devastating heat (read: 82 degrees with very little humidity) and I was sweating like a pig in a synagogue. It was almost hot enough to make me long for the snow and wind that I complained bitterly about during the winter months. Almost. I managed to stick to a route that is mostly in the shade but it was easily 70 degrees in the shade and that slight breeze in my face wasn’t helping my pace. I tell you guys, it’s hard running here in Colorado in the summer months; I could barely even see the mountains with the glare from the sun in my face! But I struggled through it because I know that some of you look to me for inspiration. So next time you think that you’ve got it rough or that the conditions won’t permit you to run I want you to think back to me running 6 (six!) miles on a shady path, with mountain views and little to no humidity. Perhaps you’ll be able to turn those feelings of envy and hatred into determination and go run in any conditions.

500th Post!

Guess what? This is my 500th post and I’m not going to do anything special for it. Whenever I come up on a milestone post, all I can think of is what Jess said on her 1000th post: “Wow, what a colossal waste of time.” (Or maybe it was her husband that said it?)

Five hundred posts with nary an ounce of insight or wisdom. I thought about putting together a list of my favorite posts but hey, newsflash: I’m lazy. Besides if you wanted to read my favorite posts then you’d just click on the Best of Half-Fast tab above, or that link I just provided. Anyway, you’re welcome to congratulate me on my 500 posts in the comments and remind me how awesome and cool and boss and hip I am because my tender ego could use a boost.

Enough about me, Candis is doing another sprint triathlon tonight because she evidently lacks the focus and drive to concentrate on one sport at a time. I’ll be there to take pictures and remind her constantly about how she forgot to put on her bib last time. I probably won’t be at all obnoxious.

Marcy, Marcy, Marcy!
Normally I wouldn’t clutter my epic 500th post with news about someone other than me, but I’ll make an exception for Marcy, she deserves it. Marcy is going into blog retirement, and not only that she’s wiping out her blog completely so you won’t even be able to go back and enjoy the archives. Here’s what I remember most about Marcy: When I was writing the Weekend Splits on a regular basis I would often try to link small running blogs that were new and unique and worth reading so that all my readers could have one more timesuck during their workday. Every time I found one that I thought was brand new, that no one else knew about I’d inevitably go into the comments to say hello and there would be a comment from Marcy asking them how their race went or how their sick turtle was doing. She was ubiquitous and it seemed like she genuinely took an interest in everyone. So fare thee well Marcy! You sure do get around! :p lol.

Phone it in Friday

Hey, who wants to see a video of some guy named Danny MacAskill doing some tricks on his bike? I hope you answered yes, because that’s what you’re getting today. Speaking of bikes I rode mine the other night, but Candis says it doesn’t count. I got home from a 7 mile tempo run and was invited to a friend’s house for some drinks to celebrate his wife passing her nursing exam (whatever that thing is called). Congrats Ruth! Anyway, since they live literally 2 blocks away we usually walk but I didn’t feel like walking on account of the 7 tempo miles I had just run and driving 2 blocks seemed too lazy, even for me (not that I haven’t driven to his house in the past) so I rode my bike there. And back! Isn’t that what you triathletes call a brick workout? Candis laughed when I suggested this and said no, but what does she know?

Update on yesterday’s BBQ post:  Last night I did a 3 mile easy run and when I got home Candis was grilling chicken on the BBQ, so despite her refusal to acknowledge my brick workout she’s still OK in my book. I think I’ll keep her. Naturally, I still found some things about the meal to complain about i.e. I didn’t smell anyone grilling on my run last night so I wasn’t particularly in the mood for BBQ.

The video below, like many of the videos that I post, was found at With Leather and features Danny MacAskill doing all kinds of sick stunts on his bike. Incidentally, for a guy that has obviously spent a lot of time on a bike seat, MacAskill ranks right up there with Bolt on the name-to-sport appropriateness scale.




Have a good weekend everyone!

I Crack Me Up

So hopefully you’ve all figured out by now that yesterday’s post was an April Fools’ Day joke. I realize that there are some people out there who hate April Fools’ Day and the jocularity that comes with it, but I don’t suppose that those people read Half-Fast in the first place. If you were one of the people who were initially duped then you weren’t alone as I received several comments and e-mails yesterday indicating that people had fallen for it. I guess it must be entirely believable that I would sell out and pull a stunt like that for a buck or two. Maybe it’s because I’m such a sell out when it comes to product reviews and free stuff? Nah, that can’t be it.

What really should have given it away (other than the tags at the bottom of the post) was the idea that I’d even consider allowing Nitmos to post here. Half-Fast would be overrun by calf cramps and llama references quicker than you can say “fruit from your anus,” and if you understood all of those references then you have my sincerest condolences.

Anyway, I don’t have much to say today but the good news is I did make another video over at xtra normal. It’s like I’ve found a new crutch to lean on when I don’t feel like writing a real post! If you didn’t watch the first video you’ll want to watch it before you watch this one otherwise this one won’t make any sense. Or maybe you won’t want to watch either of them and that’s totally fine but you’re missing out on some wonderful, puerile humor which is why you come here in the first place, isn’t it?



If you’re having trouble viewing the embedded video you can click here to watch it at xtra normal.

The Track Coach

I don’t really have a post this morning because I spent several hours playing around on this cool new site instead of composing a post for you. You may have already seen the site if you follow The Bloggess or Cranky Fitness or any number of other blogs that were quicker on the uptake than I was. Basically, the site allows you to create movies using characters like the ones you see below and it’s just plain fun to see what kinds of inappropriate things you can make them say.

My first creation is just barely over a minute long. I hope that you enjoy it because it’s all you’re getting from me today.

And that, kids, is why you don’t do steroids.
If you have trouble with the embedded video player click here to view it at xtra normal.

Video Friday

I don’t feel like writing a post today so I’m just going to post videos that I’ve seen on some of your blogs over the past week. It’s a little bit like plagiarism or stealing but I don’t like those terms so let’s just say that I’m giving some shout outs today. The first video comes from Flatmans Blog and features Lance Armstrong in a SNL skit about the Ironman. Unlike many SNL skits, this one is actually kind of funny.


Say what you will about Lance, but he’s a pretty funny guy.

The next video is from With Leather, a site that I’ve stolen many videos from over the years. This video was shot at the NFL Scouting Combine and features host Rich Eisen running the 40 yard dash. The best part of the clip is after the half way point when they simulcast Rich’s 40 with some of the other prospects that ran it. I don’t know what my 40 time would be, but I’m pretty sure I’m faster than Rich.



Finally, I’ll leave you with a video from Topher at I’ll Run for Donuts. The irony level in this video is off the charts. Comparing a McDonalds quarter pound cheeseburger to running a marathon is almost as ironic as a running blog with an obsession for donuts, although to be fair, I think the blog is now named I’ll Run From Donuts.



You know, now that I think of it, the way that a quarter pounder would run a marathon is pretty much exactly how I ran a marathon, aside from the short shorts. That’s all I’ve got today. Have a great weekend everyone!

Stretching

I’m just going to come right out and say it: I don’t stretch. Ever. I don’t stretch before my runs, I don’t stretch after my runs, and I most certainly don’t stretch during my runs. OK, occasionally I’ll do this after a long run, but not for a significant amount of time and I’m not sure that it counts as stretching.

I used to stretch all the time before I went running but then I read somewhere that it could be harmful to stretch cold muscles and that was pretty much all the excuse I needed to stop. (Stretching not reading.) I know that I should stretch and sometimes I even tell myself that I’m going to stretch after my run but it never happens. When I run in the morning I find myself with no time to stretch because I have to go to work. When I run in the evening I have no time to stretch because dinner is often ready when I get home (not complaining about that by the way). When I run on the weekend I have no time to stretch because there’s always something more appealing that I need to do when I get home, like poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick.

I guess I find it hard to make the time to stretch because I’ve never experienced any downside to not stretching. Am I the only runner who is like this? Surely there are some of you out there who never stretch, right? Those of you who do stretch with the regularity of a food critic working his way through the Mexican genre are invited to let me know in the comments why I should stretch. Who knows, maybe something you say will cause me to start stretching, and I’m talking about real stretching not the typical stretch and yawn reaction that your comments so often produce.

Don’t forget this is the last day to get a comment in for the Pearl Izumi giveaway. I’ll announce the winner tomorrow!

The Best Thing About Pain?

Earlier this year I did a post for CRN (Complete Running Network) about adding inspirational movie quotes to your running playlist. It’s a fun distraction to hear quotes from your favorite movies interspersed with the songs that get you pumped up. The other night I was watching the movie G.I. Jane (don’t judge) starring Demi Moore as a woman trying to make it as a member of the Navy SEALS, when I came across the following quote that is being immediately added into the running playlist rotation:

“Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain? It lets you know you’re not dead yet!”

You can find a link to the mp3 file and the wav sound file at the bottom of this page.

Speaking of CRN, I don’t think I linked to either of my 2 most recent posts over there. (This is October’s and this is November’s.) So, if you haven’t already read them then you should go do that now, and in the future don’t wait for me to link to them you lazy sack of slow twitch muscle fibers. Seriously, do I have to do everything for you? You might be thinking that reading both of them is too much effort in which case you and I are a lot alike, and you should totally just read November’s because I kind of phoned in October’s. (Hey, just like I’m phoning in today’s post!)

I also want to mention the Treadmill Vehicle, as seen on With Leather (video below). I couldn’t think of a clever segue to allow me to just radically change topics like that in the middle of a post, so it’s a good thing that I don’t allow trivial things like flow and style to influence my writing. At any rate, the Treadmill Vehicle is claiming to be the first man powered treadmobile, but if you’ve been a reader of Half-Fast since the beginning (you’re still here?) then you will remember a couple of posts that I wrote about the Treadmill Bike. I think the Treadmill Bike people have grounds to sue the Treadmill Vehicle people and more importantly I think they’re both morons. A bicycle is much more convenient than either of these two options for getting around and if you wanted to run... then why wouldn’t you just run?




Have a great weekend everyone!

Weekend Splits

Weekend Splits is my recap of things that I found interesting or humorous over the past week. If you have a submission for the weekend splits, e-mail me.


The above image is from Jokes and Clips, but I first saw it at Pat’s blog, Note to Self. Thanks Pat, that’s a much more creative use of hand signals than I’m used to seeing. Onto the links:

• I had an open letter to race directors go up at CRN. I already linked to it once this week, but it doesn’t hurt to do it again.
• And here’s the dissenting opinion to my letter to race directors.
• Steve in a Speedo competed in the Square Lake Half Ironman and did the run (13.1 miles) dressed as the Grim Reaper, complete with sickle. If you don’t read the post at least go look at the pictures and watch the video at the end, especially if you’ve never seen Death dancing to Kanye’s Stronger.
• Lance tries to spread cheer and introduce the Runner’s Wave.
• Last, but certainly not least the disgustingly talented J-Money posted a race report. You need to go read this post, because it’s not everyday that you get to laugh at the phrase Bifida the Clown.

That’s all for this weekend. I’m feeling kinda’ lazy so I don’t have a comment of the week or a video of the week. I will tell you all that I did something really stupid this weekend, and hopefully I’ll have more about that on Monday... or Tuesday... or whenever I get to it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Video Friday

Today I’m breaking out Video Friday, lots of videos, not much typing. You get all the laughs and enjoyment that you’ve come to expect here at Half-Fast, and I get to write less. It’s a win - win situation. The good news is that I think most of these videos are actually related to running in some shape or form.

The first video was posted a couple of days ago by Frayed Laces.



I think I first saw this next video on Orange Trails.



LOL!!!!! OMG was that Lance? OMG I totally <3 Lance!!!!!!!11!! He’s teh GOAT!!!11!!!!!

Personally, I’m with the customer in that last video. I thought a little light cardio sounded pretty good. Have you ever tried to run on a treadmill after “feeding the warrior 20lbs?” No thank you.



I’ve never ridden for 23 days on a bike nor would I care too, but even I know how nice it is when something is flat. Oh yeah, and by the way if you don’t care for Lance Armstrong that much then you can probably just skip the rest of the videos. I’m not his biggest fan, but he sure is a funny guy.


And finally I leave you with one that is less funny and more motivational. Enjoy.

Christmas Suggestions

Just a few quick suggestions for all my loyal readers that have stuck around and are still reading over the holidays.

1. Enjoy your Christmas! Eat, Drink and be Merry, but remember to be safe, I’d hate to lose a reader as the result of a stupid holiday accident. I prefer to lose readers in the normal manner; boredom, disinterest or just plain offended by what I’ve written.
2. Take some time to yourself and try to get a run in. I might even try to take a break from all the family stuff and squeeze in a short run on Christmas day. If you do, I highly recommend loading some Christmas music onto your MP3 player and running to that. I’ve been running to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra the last few days and I’ve really enjoyed it.
3. Spike the Eggnog.
4. Remember, as of midnight on December 25th you’ve got a whole year to get back on the “nice” list.

Video Friday, Again

I don't mean to always be phoning it in on Friday and posting videos, in fact I wasn't even going to post at all today until I saw the following video. Watch very closely after the logo splash screen at the end. I cracked up at that guy as he sits down at his computer. I totally feel his pain.

That's it for today. The Weekend Splits will be posted tomorrow (hopefully) and then Monday will be Post #100 for Half-Fast. Be sure to tune in for that because it's going to be big. I'm not sure what it will be, but I'm pretty sure there will be dancing and free alcoholic beverages. Hey, I guess it will be kind of like my Sister's upcoming wedding, only bigger and better because I won't be wearing a tux. Heck, I might not be wearing anything at all! Wooo Hoooo!

Video from A Marathoner's Blog via The Toronto Runner.