I love getting my Runner’s World magazine in the mail (unlike some poor schmucks who have to walk to Walgreens for it). I love knowing that I have whole slew of running articles just waiting for me to read next time I’m on the can. Hey, don’t judge me, I have 2 kids and the only quality reading time I get is when I’m in the throne room.
So there I was, pants around my ankles reading my latest issue of Runner’s World when I came across an article titled Strike a Pose. Hmmmm, where have I heard of that before? Oh yes, I remember, it was RIGHT HERE! It was the title of my article posted over at CRN! Now forget for a moment that the two articles are dealing with completely different subject matter or that the phrase “strike a pose” is the totally obvious title choice for both articles (albeit a little cliché), they totally stole my idea. Obviously they read my article and loved my title so much that they decided to use it for their Yoga article.
No big deal I thought, as I sat there furrowing my brow from the straining of my bowels. I moved on to the rest of the articles, but it only got worse (the magazine not the straining). Up next for my reading pleasure was a whole series of articles called Love on the Run – “A look at the fun and playful ways that running and relationships intersect, including dating do’s [sic] and don’ts...” (Ha! A grammatical error right there on page 7! Even my dog knows that that apostrophe doesn’t belong there.) Hmmmm didn’t someone already do a fun look at running and dating? Maybe in the form of Pick Up Lines for Runners? Yeah, I thought so.
As if this wasn’t bad enough a few more pages back I found a review of the Pearl Izumi SyncroInfinity running shoes. Sure it was couched in amongst reviews of lots of different running shoes under the premise of the Summer Shoe Guide but I’m pretty sure I know of someone who just reviewed the Pearl Izumi SyncroInfinity. I did, right here. I suppose Runner’s World expects us to believe that they were always intending to include their Summer Shoe Guide in their June issue. What kind of fools do they take us for?
Oh, and don’t even get me started on how I felt about them talking about running skirts on page 75? Come on! Running skirts is totally MY THING! At this point I was so mad that I just had to get up and wipe.
So if anyone from Runner’s World is reading this, then you guys need to quit stealing my stuff. I’m sick of it.
...not to mention that they have a segment called Running Off at the Mind. Can you say, "class action lawsuit"?
ReplyDelete"So there I was, pants around my ankles reading my latest issue of Runner’s World when I..."
You should start all of your posts like this.
The people at work are looking at me funny because I am laughing for no apparent reason.
ReplyDeleteI get the throne thing. When a new runners world come in my wife put it right next to the can.
Your indignant, self-congratulatory tone comes through loud and clear. You show great ability to multi-task through reading RW, noting grammatical errors, and BM'ing all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI will share your disgust if the next issue of RW contains an article titled "Ten Tips to Reading RW While On the Can".
Stop stealing my idea to write about Runner's World!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link.
I need a lobotomy now. I can't get the image of you reading your RW on the john out of my head. God help me...
ReplyDeleteI saw that & I have to admit, I was a weeee bit disappointed in their stealing of some of your best stuff. . . . . .
ReplyDeleteyou should get the mag for FREE now. I mean it’s the least they could do. Lifetime subscription for free OH & you get a column, once a month or as a "guest" writer.
I SHOULD get something for suggesting this to you & them, once they read your BLOG & comments, just throwin’ that out there
311: You should get something, maybe something like a bike?
ReplyDeleteXenia: I've added my 'disturbing mental images' tag to this post just for you.
You know, I actually really did think of you while reading the running and dating part (and totally not in a perverse fashion. Head out of the gutter, please). They totally need to cut you a check. Or better yet, give you a job.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I couldn't hear you over all the sarcasm. What were you saying?
ReplyDeleteOK if your next post is that Zach from Saved By The Bell is a runner too. I would get yourself a laywer.
ReplyDeletehey, stop giving my bike away to 311.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that RW would be so blatenly obvious. That's it, I'm cancelling my subscription. After all, I can read all the good stuff right here for free.
Vanilla--Much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of skirts and RW - is it me, or is Goucher wearing a skirt on the cover?
ReplyDeleteI was actually thinking of subscribing a few days ago, glad I am lazy and didn't. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Plus, your witty sarcasm can't be found there.
ReplyDeleteSimilar thing happened to me as well about a year ago. I didn't know whether to be offended or flattered, but eventually settled on the latter. I'm keeping an eye on them now, though.
ReplyDeleteBastards.
"At this point I was so mad that I just had to get up and wipe." Not an image I want in my head when you were just talking about holding a MAGAZINE! Ouch.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt they read you, Vanilla. You are a trendsetter.
"At this point I was so mad that I just had to get up and wipe." Not an image I want in my head when you were just talking about holding a MAGAZINE! Ouch.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt they read you, Vanilla. You are a trendsetter.
when my 2 year running log at RW gets suspended tommorow, I'm totally blaming you.
ReplyDeleteBut then again, it wouldn't be like you to worry about what people think :)
I did think of you when I read about the Izumis.
ReplyDeleteAnd the apostrophe in "Do's" is acceptable in that usage -- in which it is being used to form a plural (like in the phrase "Mind your p's and q's"); in this case, it distinguishes the word from the Spanish "dos." Sometimes, punctuation rules are violated in order to accomodate purposeful clarification.
Jess, if that's the case then shouldn't they also have written don't's with two apostrophes to be consistent? And why do we break a punctuation rule in order to differentiate it from a word that’s not even in the language that we’re using? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that you are right and I certainly don’t wish to argue semantics with an English Professor but it just doesn’t feel right to me.
ReplyDeleteYou make a strong argument, and technically, you'd be correct with the analogy, but you must think of the statement's visual symmetry. How weird would this look: "Dos and Don'ts"?
ReplyDeleteAnd, the fact of grammar (which I never tell students) is this: There is grammatically "correct" and grammatically "acceptable." Magazines and newspapers often use the latter, more lax, standard.
It is quite obvious by your scorn that you are a relatively new subscriber to Runner's World. What you will soon find out is that Runner's World subscribes to the "everything that is old will eventually be new again" philosophy. Odds are that 90% of what you read in Runner's World is not new, but just updated from when it appeared three or four years ago.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see I don't have to buy this months magazine because I already read all that stuff right here lol.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm calling my lawyers! You can't COMPLAIN or WHINE about your stuff being stolen, or about anything else for that matter, as I own the copyright on both these activities.
ReplyDeleteIt may, however, be permissible for you to snivel; I'll consult with counsel on that.
But posting on the can--have at it, that's all yours.
I was thinking the EXACT SAME THING. Jerks.
ReplyDeleteTrying to get that image out of my head! You and Amy and your potty humor. Sheesh. :-)
ReplyDelete