- It pertains to my upcoming race because I’ve dropped two pounds in the last 24 hours which can only help me accomplish my goal in my upcoming 10K right? Less weight to carry = faster race. If I can stay sick right up until Sunday then I might lose 12-15 lbs. Score!
- It makes for a fantastic excuse if I don’t make my 50 minute goal. Pay attention all of you who are rookie runners, you can learn from this. I set my goal in yesterday’s post, and in today’s post I am already preparing my excuses in case I fail. I have upper management written all over me.
Well that’s all for today because I’ve got to go. I mean I really have to go, I feel a fart coming on and that’s far too dangerous an endeavor to attempt unless I’m seated on the throne.
Warning: This post contains some disturbing mental images and probably should not be read during lunchtime.
Note: The above warning should be read before reading the rest of the post.
Wow.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you had a two-fold wallet.
The other stuff I could give a shit about. Get it? Huh?
Tilt forward and let'er rip! Consider it Turbo Boost.
ReplyDeleteSomething stinks in Suburbia and now we know it's you.
ReplyDeleteThanks to Viper I now have a hilarious yet horrific mental picture of you during the Bolder Boulder. I think I could have lived without that, but thanks.
ReplyDeleteYour post was just read by a woman who calls "fartleks" "frolics" because I can't say the first half of that word out loud. I need a shower now.
ReplyDeleteDude I am so sorry. If all else fails, invest in some Depends. Might have a little chaffing/crunchy noise going on there, but it will save you from embarrassment LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are gross!
ReplyDeleteb.t.w. warnings go at the beginning- too late!
I have to go Clorox the house...
(almost spelled it wrong- shows how much I use it :))
Way to put a positive spin on things, V. Hope you're feeling better before race day.
ReplyDeleteAt least you found your silver lining in the toilet bowl.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely upper management - you planning on a run for president soon??
~K
Somehow I feel like I was just used as virtual toilet paper.
ReplyDeleteThat was a shitty post.
ReplyDelete...
Wow, did I actually just write that? I really need to improve my material.
That was more than I ever needed to know.
ReplyDeleteBut hey Marcy's idea is great if you're still sick come race day.
Two fold, like my wallet is my favorite part. You are a loon fo sho.
ReplyDeleteAt least you haven't stooped to posting your goals in the same post as your excuses. Not that I've done that or anything...
ReplyDeletethe flash. because it hits you and then is gonnneee
ReplyDeleteOh, homie, there's no one more sympathetic than I to the problem of the chocolate shotgun. You've read my post where I pooped myself, right? Yeah...
ReplyDeleteMan, I just found your blog and this is my introduction!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteAhem! Sorry, a little unsympathetic laugh. I know how you feel, more often than the world needs to know.
Does it help with "personal bests?"
I'll be back! :)
dude. dude. funniest poop story ever.
ReplyDelete