As if Oscar Pistorius didn’t have enough troubles already, it was announced today by the Governing Board that he would also be banned from the Shave Your 5K Challenge being hosted by Half-Fast. Organizers had long been considering barring Oscar Pistorius from competing in the SY5K Challenge based on the IAAF’s findings that his prosthetic carbon-fiber blades provide “clear mechanical advantages.”SY5K event organizers were not certain if Oscar Pistorius was planning to enter the contest but wanted to eliminate any doubt about his eligibility with the deadline to post a stubble time looming. They further asserted in a written statement that it would be “impossible to determine whether Oscar’s improvement during the year was due to training or technology.”
Oscar Pistorius has called the announcement “nothing more than a publicity stunt” on the part of Half-Fast, an insignificant player on the world running stage. Pistorius went on to claim that Half-Fast was merely looking to cash in on Google searches for the name “Oscar Pistorius.”
When reached for comment, hunky Half-Fast spokesperson Vanilla said “If Oscar Pistorius thinks that this is just about publicity and Google searches then Oscar Pistorius is wrong. Oscar Pistorius was banned from this event because Oscar Pistorius has an advantage over able bodied athletes not named Oscar Pistorius. If Oscar Pistorius would like to discuss the barring of Oscar Pistorius in a civil manner or file an appeal then Oscar Pistorius is welcome to contact me via the e-mail address listed at Half-Fast. Oscar Pistorius can easily find the site by Googling Oscar Pistorius.”
Perhaps Oscar Pistorius will take solace in the fact that he was not the only person who was banned from participating in the Shave Your 5K Challenge. Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco and Eliot Spitzer were also banned from the SY5K challenge although it wasn’t made clear why.
With apologies to those of you who just found Half-Fast via a search for Oscar Pistorius, I highly recommend The Science of Sport for their coverage of this saga.
What about Katie Holmes? Did she even qualify?
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Though, if he uses the same set of prosthetics in his stubble and shaved 5K, would that prove the improvement was due to training over technology?
ReplyDeleteLOL - As always.
ReplyDeleteA HA HA HA HA HA, I'm dying. I'm drunk so that is probably contributing but I'm ROFLMAO. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteIt is always makes me laugh how you can write about yourself in
ReplyDelete3rd person.
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ReplyDeleteWhat about A-Rod, I know you want to ban him. Just do it, you'll feel better.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Damn those people with disabilities -- clearly their disability gives them an advantage over all those able-bodied athletes!
ReplyDeleteNo current or previous Yankees are eligble. It's a household rule. I'd return my own son for pretending he was A-rod in a baseball game.
ReplyDeleteCan we also ban Marion Jones? I am still heartbroken about her doping.
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, this probably means Heather Mills won't be eligible either?
ReplyDeleteHeh, that's pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I found your blog.....very entertaining!
ReplyDeleteHA!!
ReplyDeleteHey, how about banning some Canadians! Ben Johnson?
ReplyDeleteHats off, by the way, for being able to spell Oscar Pistorius. It would be beyond me without your hilarious blog entry as a reference.