As I was putting on my free Pearl Izumi running shoes the other day, I noticed that there were signs of wear and tear around the ankle of my left shoe. I was more than a little perplexed by this which is not an emotion that I’m used to dealing with, unless I’m getting something out of the fridge but who among us hasn’t been perplexed by the little light in there that just somehow knows when to turn off and on? How does it know? I checked the other shoe, I guess that would be the right one, to see if it was encountering the same pattern of wear. It was not.
I sat in my closet with one shoe on and one shoe off trying to figure this out before giving up after a couple of hours and embarking on my run. I mulled it over as I ran and began to notice that I was kicking my left ankle with my right foot 5 or 6 times every mile. I’ve never noticed this before, but it’s obviously been happening for a while given the tattered state of my left shoe. Perhaps this is what’s been making me slower all these years, because I’ve always felt like I’m really an elite athlete trapped in this slow (albeit devastatingly handsome) body.
The more I thought about it, the more I kicked myself in the ankle. I tried to run with a wider stance but I’m pretty sure that just made it look like I was ready to have my diaper changed, and while that may be good practice for my golden years it’s not an image I want to conjure up right now. Perhaps I could take up horseback riding, I hear that really widens your stance although I’m not sure I can pull off the requisite cowboy boots and Skoal rings.
When I got back to the house I went into my closet and checked the other pair of shoes that are currently in the rotation (yes, I am two-timing my shoes because one pair is not enough for me). There were absolutely no signs of wear on my Asics GT-2130s. (By the way, thanks for discontinuing those, Asics. Jerks!) I went and checked several pairs of retired shoes; my Mizunos, my Asics 2110s, even an old pair of Pumas and NONE of them had the same wear pattern that the Pearl Izumis have. I guess I only kick myself in the ankle when I’m wearing my Pearl Izumis. When they say that “run easy is an oxymoron” they’re not kidding, because it’s not easy to run while you’re kicking yourself in the ankle. In fact it’s downright amazing that I don’t trip myself up more than your average runner. Once or twice a mile is average right? Right?
I sat in my closet with one shoe on and one shoe off trying to figure this out before giving up after a couple of hours and embarking on my run. I mulled it over as I ran and began to notice that I was kicking my left ankle with my right foot 5 or 6 times every mile. I’ve never noticed this before, but it’s obviously been happening for a while given the tattered state of my left shoe. Perhaps this is what’s been making me slower all these years, because I’ve always felt like I’m really an elite athlete trapped in this slow (albeit devastatingly handsome) body.
The more I thought about it, the more I kicked myself in the ankle. I tried to run with a wider stance but I’m pretty sure that just made it look like I was ready to have my diaper changed, and while that may be good practice for my golden years it’s not an image I want to conjure up right now. Perhaps I could take up horseback riding, I hear that really widens your stance although I’m not sure I can pull off the requisite cowboy boots and Skoal rings.
When I got back to the house I went into my closet and checked the other pair of shoes that are currently in the rotation (yes, I am two-timing my shoes because one pair is not enough for me). There were absolutely no signs of wear on my Asics GT-2130s. (By the way, thanks for discontinuing those, Asics. Jerks!) I went and checked several pairs of retired shoes; my Mizunos, my Asics 2110s, even an old pair of Pumas and NONE of them had the same wear pattern that the Pearl Izumis have. I guess I only kick myself in the ankle when I’m wearing my Pearl Izumis. When they say that “run easy is an oxymoron” they’re not kidding, because it’s not easy to run while you’re kicking yourself in the ankle. In fact it’s downright amazing that I don’t trip myself up more than your average runner. Once or twice a mile is average right? Right?
Believe it or not, I do that too. Especially on my longer runs when I start to fatigue. My right leg kinda brushes the left ankle. I don't do it THAT bad where it's worn down but that one spot is always kinda dirty where the rest of my kicks are pretty much clean LOL
ReplyDeleteI had that on my last pair of shoes, Adidas Supernovas. Never had it before, and I haven't noticed it since. Liked the shoes other than that...
ReplyDeleteTo quote Mars Blackman: "It's gotta be the shoes."
ReplyDeleteSee why I broke up with PI's?
"devastatingly handsome"
ReplyDeleteI needed that. I think it was the first time I've laughed out loud all week.
Thanks....
I also new you were a "special" runner. This just confirms it.
ReplyDeleteBecause I'm secretly 12, the part that made me laugh was when you said that you adopted a wider stance. I bet Candis will be upset to hear about that.
ReplyDeleteI think we need to write a letter to Asics due the fact that I am in love with my 2130's also.
ReplyDeleteMan, that is weird. Are the Puma's somehow more padded or something, and just barely get in the way?
ReplyDeleteI went through something similar with my Pearls earlier this year. They kind of gave up on me and my stride suffered along the way. To save your self the agony I would suggest cutting you losses and saying sorry nara (good bye) soon. It is a sade thing to see a good pair go down to soon.
ReplyDeleteSorry Dude.
http://rachaelsdaddy.wordpress.com/2008/03/16/a-life-too-short-remembering-a-good-pair-of-shoe-tragically-struck-down-in-its-prime/
I also am a two shoe timing kind of guy, but I stick with Asics. and now you went and ruined my day by informing me that the 2130s are discontinued.
ReplyDeleteI've always had those days when I finish a run, start to stretch, and notice big dirty scuff marks on my calves. Apparently, when I kick myself, I do so with oblivious vigor. Unfortunately, I don't think I can pin this one on my shoes.
ReplyDeleteSilly Vanilla. The little light in the fridge knows when to turn on because the hampster powering it has a surveillance camera right next to his wheel.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's your SHOES that are kicking you, because they are horrified that you actually keep ALL your old running shoes. That's like staying friends with all your old girlfriends. Bound to cause a little passive aggressive behaviour, no matter how devilishly handsome you claim to be...
OMG! Me too. I only do it when I get into the later miles of the run and have heavy feet.
ReplyDeleteI got a lighter pair of shoes and stopped kicking myself as much.
Question though: why is it only the right foot that kicks the left foot?
By chance, hear me out, is your left ankle more of a cankle? Or mankle, as the case may be? Maybe you have an unusually large deposit of body fat in that area causing only your left ankle to be grossly deformed and protruding inward.
ReplyDeleteI think you are more of a Diaper guy than a Cowboy if you are looking to solve this crisis. That's my opinion anyway.
Its hard to imagine its a shoe thing - but the shoes might have changed your stride??? I admit, I am an occasional ankle kicker. I have never tripped, but I have made myself bleed on occasion. I figure its just one of those things that makes me so adorable.
ReplyDeleteDISCONTINUED? But I just got styling PINK GIRLY GT-2130s. Guess that explains why I just saw the Asics GT-2130 on the clearance rack at Shoe Carnival for $29.99. Of course they didn't have my size. :( Saddened am I.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is karma's revenge on you for gloating about the FREENESS of the PI.
Much worse, I have kicked myself in the ankle so badly it bleeds (worse if I'm not wearing socks that cover the ankle bone). I seem to go in phases, where the injury just scabs over then I kick it again and reopen the wound... same with tripping and falling. My left knee has been ripped open and healed so many times that I have a permanent scar! (It's always the left side that gets hurt.)
ReplyDeleteGood to know I'm not the only one hating on Asics right now.
ReplyDeleteYou truly are special, Vanilla. Your PIs prove it.
Maybe you need some kind of training wheel system.
ReplyDeleteSo what your saying is that it's the shoes, huh? weird!
ReplyDeleteI have the same issue. My right foot wears on my left shoe. But, my shoes are Asics Kayano 13's. I think it has something to do with the motion control or the stability of the shoe. I, also, get a weird smell in my shoes too. Like someone with smelly feet have been using my shoes. Not sure about that.
ReplyDeletewhy were they free?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was run easy you moron!?!
ReplyDeleteNote to self: remove vanilla from "elite" list...
ReplyDeleteIrongambit, they were given to me in exchange for a review. If you click the word "free" in the post you can read the full story.
ReplyDeleteMan... I had noticed a similar thing on my shoes only the right one has wear and not the left. now you have me wondering if this is with all my running shoes or just my most current pair. Hmm...
ReplyDeleteI do this so much that I have bruised ankles after my marathon last weekend. I've never really thought much of it, and I've always worn the same type of shoe so obviously I always do it.
ReplyDeleteTime for new kicks, maybe.