I was poking around the Georgetown Half website trying to find race pictures and then I began to wonder why I was doing that. Why would I even want to look at my race pictures from what is potentially one of the worst races of my life? What would make me think that the race pictures from a race I crapped out on would be worth looking for? Even my pretty face can’t save some things. I’ve stated previously my firm belief that no one looks good in their race pictures and yet I still go looking for them after each and every race. It’s like driving by an accident and thinking ‘boy, I hope no one was hurt’ as you slow down and try to see if you can see any blood on the wreckage. You can’t not look.On the front page of the website I noticed that it said in big bold letters “Mark your calendar next year’s race will be held on August 14,” and so I did. I grabbed my calendar, turned to August 14th, 2010 and I wrote down “Find something else to do this weekend.” I hate that stupid race. Some people might be overcome by competitive spirit and want to go back for a third attempt in order to finally conquer the course, but not me. I live by the words that W.C. Fields once said: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There’s no sense being a damn fool about it.”
This race is my nemesis. The kryptonite to my Superman, the David to my Goliath, the internet to my newspaper business, the Pat Garrett to my Billy the Kid, the Google to my Yellow Pages, the Gigli to J-Lo’s acting career, the overly long analogy to my otherwise quality blog post. In other words it is my curse and the cause of my defeat. Of course, this could be said of several of my recent races but it I think it applies more to this one than any other. I’m not planning on attempting it again, or being so melodramatic about it in the future.
Anyway, that’s the only race picture that I’m posting. If you want to see the rest of the train wreck of pictures you’re going to have to put your stalking skills to work, which shouldn’t be too hard given the information in this post.
Cargo shorts?
ReplyDeleteRazz is correct. These seriously look like cargo shorts. This explains EVERYTHING.
ReplyDeleteThose are adidas running shorts, you jerks!
ReplyDeleteWhat the heck is in your pocket?
ReplyDeleteAnd I am definitely going out to the race site to see if the chick behind you finished in front you.
They do look like cargo shorts. I think it is because of whatever you have in them too.
ReplyDeleteMy husband carries his wallet, keys, cell phone sunglasses, and half my crap in his cargo pockets too. You need some of those slit up the side shorty shorts. Those 5 pounds less of clothes is at least 30 seconds/mile saved.
ReplyDeleteIs your bib on your shorts because you wanted to reserve the right to rip off your shirt, Hulk-style?
ReplyDeleteI am such a fool when it comes to race photos. I totally cheese for them. It helps the pain. I am sure it's a total energy waster too but you should try it next time.
ReplyDeleteAnd sadly, those do look like cargo shorts. Don't wear those next time, they look heavy.
The only person looking good in your race picture is the young lady behind you. That may be worth stalking.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes - you are wearing cargo shorts. I am surprised to learn that Adidas makes safari apparel.
Cargo shorts, cargo shorts...blah blah blah. I'm more curious about the shoulder pads. You realize running is supposed to be non-contact?
ReplyDeleteAnd the W.C. Fields reference? Not reallly helping your "I'm an American" cause. Didn't Steve Martin ever say anything funny? Cheerio!
I kind of hate racing pics. And what a tough crowd on your sartorial choices!
ReplyDeleteyou should probably continue the analogy with, gravity and wind resistance to my nine pocket, L.L. Bean adventure shorts..... :)
ReplyDeleteFrom all the comments I bet you wish you hadn't posted the picture at all! LOL....
ReplyDeleteBTW, your posts sound a bit grouchy. ;)
LOL. Hilarious. It is true you know - there are never "good" race pictures. How good can anyone look after miles and miles of running, sweat, and pain (even if you enjoy it!)?
ReplyDeleteHey cargo boy - Just because everyone else is being an ass about your shorts, I'll refrain and cut you some slack. BTW, how did you get your pic from brightroom.com?
ReplyDeleteShutUpandRun, I snagged the images by using the 'print screen' button on my computer and cropping it. If you're fast you can even get it before the watermark fades in over it. Shhhhhh, don't tell anyone at Brightroom.
ReplyDeleteWhen WC Fields said "try, try again" - I think he meant you should try two more times - not just once (even if you did try really hard). If you do try again, maybe you should wear a race singlet and running shorts and save yourself a few pounds of weight.
ReplyDeleteI try after each race to find a picture I find not too horrific to post. If you notice, I have maybe 2 race pics on my entire blog. Its like some sort of curse was placed on runners so that they are destined to look like total crap anytime a camera is around :(
ReplyDeleteI am always holding a peace sign in my race pics...seriously...I have no idea why my brain says "oh cool! look alive and throw out the proverbial peace sign!" I do it every time and every time I look like a dork. But I still post them, because outside of those 2 fingers I'm actually pretty hot.
ReplyDeleteOh, and those are totally cargo shorts. I have a pair very similar (just in a smaller size) that I wear for adventure racing.