The Deer Whisperer

As you already know if you read my last post (and shame on you if you didn’t) I spent last weekend in Grand Lake, CO. Despite my humiliation and failure at the Granby Gut Buster 5K I was still calling myself a runner and was looking forward to a Sunday morning long run which would take place on some of the nearby mountain trails. One of the great things about running on the trails is that it makes me feel at one with nature. I prance around the woods like a young fawn, I drink from the streams and I blend into the scenery as though I am one of the woodland creatures.

I was roughly 6 miles into my long run when I rounded a bend and came across the following scene:

It’s tough to make them all out but there were 4 deer on the trail ahead, one of them was a young fawn (like me!). Evidently they had not heard or smelled me approaching, probably because I was at one with nature and also because I had just doused myself in urine (unintentionally) when I stopped for a pee break a mile back. Now, unlike some cowardly running bloggers, who are apparently afraid of deer, I did not turn and run away like a frightened little girl. Remember that when I am running, I am at one with nature and so I continued to approach the deer. All but one of them immediately fled but the remaining deer (who will likely end up as some hunter’s dinner) stuck around to check me out. I approached her slowly, speaking softly like the Deer Whisperer that I am. I whipped out my camera phone to take some pictures and the deer was so at ease with me that we dropped into the roles of photographer and model without hesitation.

“Yes! That’s it baby! Work it! Work it! Yes! Now show me coy.”

“Excellent, now turn around and give me a shot of that sexy haunch. Ooooh, you’re giving me chills, you sexy doe.”

After I had taken a few pictures it was time to get back to running and my new friend agreed to pace me for a little while.

We eventually parted ways, but not before she told me a funny story about the rube she once saw running on the trails that was terrified of deer. We laughed long and hard about that one before we said our goodbyes. Can you imagine that? Someone being afraid of a deer? That’s funny stuff.

Bonus Deep Thought by Jack Handey
“I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!”