I'm Running 2,561 Wienermobiles

It's Wienerific!
A number of weeks ago Just Your Average Joggler had a post where he discussed the length of a marathon using some non-standard units of measure. Today I will be employing the use of my plagiary tag and re-writing his post in my own words. I feel really guilty about it because I'm quite sure that no blogger has ever taken another blogger's idea and posted it onto their own blog. Ever.

As you know I'll be running the Denver Half Marathon on October 14th and while most people think of a half marathon as 13.1 miles I think I might prefer to think of it as:

• 2,561 Wienermobiles.
• 702,748.29 Cockroaches laid end to end, but I feel sorry for the .29 of a cockroach that has to be brutally murdered and sawn in half to complete this analogy. (OK, no I don't.)
• 221,337.6 Flaccid penises laid end to end. No word on whose flaccid penis that is and I really do feel bad about the 0.6 in this analogy. Is there any way we can use John Wayne Bobbitt's since it may already be a 0.6? (Did you know that there are 2 C's in flaccid or that it can apply to something other than your wiener? It's not a word I like to use a lot so I had no idea.)
• 47.56 Empire State Buildings laid end to end.
• 3,547 Small Intestines.
• 9,764.89 Shaquille O'Neals laid end to end.
• 11,857.37 Giraffe's Necks.
• 16.47 Trips across the Golden Gate Bridge - That somehow makes it sound better.
• 1,419.69 of the World's Longest Snakes. I hate snakes.
• 0.262 Panama Canals. (Did you know that if you spell the phrase "a man, a plan, a canal, Panama" backwards it says the same thing. Also, did you know that's called a Palindrome?) You did not!
• 207,504 Human tongues, meaning that a human tongue is roughly a quarter inch longer than a flaccid penis and there is no way to prove this because a human tongue has never seed a flaccid penis.
• 230.56 Football Fields
• 0.00655 Oregon Trails.

Also of note, I weigh the same as:

• 11.48 Spider Monkeys.
• 2,592 Human Eyeballs.
• 0.146 Testicles of a Right Whale. Now I don't know what a Right Whale is pero él tiene huevos grandes.
• 3,227 Quarters.
• 36 Chickens.
• 1.47 Jennifer Anistons.
  
  
  

I weigh 1.47 of these. I hope she's not stretching cold muscles prior to going for a run. Only an idiot would do that, right?
If you'd like to know how tall you are in tongues or if you want to know how many breast implants it would take to equal your weight you can visit the weird converter and figure it out. Be sure to let us know if you find any that are interesting.