Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Sweaty Update

I mentioned a few weeks ago on the weekend splits that my sweat doesn't stink. I think that some of you may have thought that I was joking around, but now researchers are actually looking into this strange phenomenon. Duke University researcher Hiroaki Matsunami, PhD asked 400 people to smell the male sweat chemicals, androstenone and androstadienone.
“Some people found the smell pleasant and similar to the smell of vanilla.” Source: WebMD.
It's true, when I get a good run going and really start to get lathered up I smell like freshly baked cookies wafting past you. It's probably what makes me feel so hungry when I run. People continually find themselves strangely drawn to me.

You might be thinking "wait a second, aren't people dying of cancer and heart disease every day in this great nation? Shouldn't these scientists be spending their efforts on THAT?" And if you are, let me stop you right there. Sure, there are people suffering from innumerous terminal illnesses and diseases, but those people can be comforted by the fact that they won't stink. Besides they're probably being punished for something really bad that they did, either in this life or a previous one. I say that if we can't research the genetics behind sweeter smelling sweat, then the terrorists have already won.

Some people dare to dream about a world without death and disease. I dream about a world without body odor, a world far superior and more aromatic than your overpopulated world without death and disease.

Now, I don't like to throw the word 'hero' around willy nilly, but I believe that these scientists are the real heroes. Is there a nobler pursuit in life than stomping out body odor? It doesn't seem like there could be. Alas, I will have to content myself with spreading delight to the nation's nostrils one pair at a time, and enlightening this harsh world one blog-reader at a time.

Up next for research: What is it that makes me really, really, ridiculously good looking? How does my hair stay so shiny, full and free from split ends? Why do men and women alike find themselves lost in my deep blue eyes, dreaming about walks on the beach and hot cocoa by an open fire? Do not despair fair reader, science will one day triumph against these mysteries and we will all know the answers. Until then, keep fighting the good fight.

9 comments:

  1. I also read in a news article this morning that a recent study demonstrated that some women were attracted to men because of the smell of their sweat! There's nothing like remincing about that first encounter on the wedding day: "At first, I thought 'He's okay' but then I got a whif of his pits! And oh my god! It was love forever!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. “Some people found the smell pleasant and similar to the smell of vanilla.”

    Vanilla with a capital V. Not sure when I have laughed that hard.

    I'm not sure what one does to get into the sweat research but it does seem a little strange...

    ReplyDelete
  3. My hubby's sweat doesn't stink either...honestly! They should do some research on you two...paying you mega bucks, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dude when my husband sweats it smells like fried chicken . . .no joke. I'm still debating if that's nasty or not. It's taking me 7 years to decide. In any event, your wife is a lucky lucky woman ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Vanilla-scented body odor is indeed an impressive SuperPower to have!

    In any case, a sweaty man (i.e. one who's just gotten sweaty running or doing some other healthy fairly moral activity) is much more attractive than a man who dowses himself in cologne. By mistake I picked up a man's deodorant in the store. The blurb on the back said "Use this cologne to attract the ladies. If you spray, they will come." Oh please.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, I'd sponser that research because my hubby's sweat stinks enough for the rest of you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes, but are you an ambi-turner? Can you turn left?

    ReplyDelete
  8. lucky indeed. Sweats always good- it leads to a buff husband.

    "How does my hair stay so shiny, full and free from split ends? Why do men and women alike find themselves lost in my deep blue eyes, dreaming about walks on the beach and hot cocoa by an open fire?"

    Wow that guy sounds hot! How do I get a date? :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can guarantee -- and my wife will vouch for me -- that my sweat doesn't smell like vanilla! While I know (OK, strongly suspect) that this was a serious post, I still had to laugh.

    ReplyDelete

Please note: If this post is more than a week old then Comment Moderation has been turned on and your comment may not show up immediately.