[by Candis, as if you couldn’t tell that from the title][image by Ian, as if you couldn’t tell, because this is how I pictured it]
Children and dogs are much dirtier than I was led to believe. I think owners of the previous understate this to those of us considering an acquisition.
This morning (is 1:30am morning?) my floors were bombarded with messes from both ends of our personal acquisitions. You should know that I’m a germ freak. Our home is not however freakily clean. (Odd eh?) Ian did not marry me for my cleaning skills- or he’d be gone already. He must actually like me. See, years of barely cleaning has paid off. I now know how much I really mean to my husband. Try it if you like, it’s risky though.
Even us ‘barely-cleaners’ must draw the line somewhere and I draw it at poop and throw up. As such, I spent a working man’s day and 3 boxes of baking soda disinfecting 2,000 square feet of floor.
My back is KILLING me (and to preempt the sarcastic, it’s not just because I’m not used to such extended periods of cleaning). I attempted a few lame runners’ yoga poses to fix my pain and trod off to our hamster wheel. It was the most painful easy run of my life. My arches hurt, my ankles hurt, my hip-flexors hurt, my back screamed and my shoulders locked. Usually I only come up with one reason I should stop running and have to talk myself through it- five is much harder to reason with.
This simply won’t do. It’s not even a running related injury, it’s an “I need a maid” injury. There you go honey, the perfect gift for me this year. I just can’t clean anymore.
What I got out of this post: "Honey, please buy me a maid outfit for Christmas."
ReplyDeleteDoes Candis REALLY want Ian to pick out a maid for Christmas?
ReplyDeleteThat there is a whole heep of trust!
I ended up wasting a chiropractor appointment on killing my back on a cleaning spree a few weeks ago (that's how often I clean).
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. Cleaning service makes for a great Christmas present.
Either that or a pic of Vanilla in that outfit with a vacuum posted on the internet...
No wait - never mind. Cleaning service still better.
joyRuN's idea is even better than tfh's.
ReplyDeleteThis is for you, j'R!
Vanilla, feel free to make your own, better version of it. Or market it as a home remedy for male heterosexuality.
Well, I'm off to wreck my knee for good in a forlorn effort to shave my 5k ..
The only injuries worth sustaining are running-related or sex-related. Cleaning-related sound like cause for revolt.
ReplyDeleteI bet you may get the maid, the maid outfit (for Candis, of course and I bet she'd even go purchase it)....if you just get her a cleaning lady!?
ReplyDeleteInhaling those fumes can also damage your lungs. I wouldn't do it at all anymore either.
ReplyDeleteYou know what you need? A message. Ian? Get on that.
ReplyDeleteYep, you definitely deserve a maid service and at least a few massages as well. My husband loves me so much that he decided, that since he couldn't live with the filth, he had to get a cleaning service. Now we're all happy.
ReplyDeleteForget the running tights or Gamrins, you need that maid service for xmas, and what better way not to spend money then havin ur husband do it! ;)
ReplyDeleteCleaning IS a workout (especially the poop/barf type ... thats an ultra workout) and there is no need to run afterwards. In fact, in the event you have to clean such messes you have a justification for couch-duty and the requirement of a man-servant.
ReplyDeleteYou scrubbed 2000 sqft with baking soda!?!
ReplyDeleteO.O
And you say you're not a clean-freak?!?
O.o
Uh...okay.
I'm not much of a cleaner myself but, does baking soda actually disinfect? I thought it just made stuff LOOK clean but that you had to use actual chemicals to kill the germs.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon! Tell Ian from now on you'll trade cleaning for back massages.