Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The rose goes in the front big guy

I went shopping for some new running shorts this past weekend, not because I needed them mind you, just because I wanted to. I was grabbing some shorts that I liked off the running shorts rack and not paying real close attention. I grabbed a couple different sizes to try on and a variety of colors. Note: I do NOT wear the short shorts, I wear the shorts that are a little longer.

Shorts in hand, I headed off to the fitting room to try them on. I grab a pair, pull them off the hanger and then I jump into them, because I don't put my pants on one leg at a time like the rest of you do. I come to the last pair and something strikes me as a little odd. As I start to pull on the final pair of shorts I notice that I'm not pulling on shorts at all. I am pulling on a running skirt! I quickly check over my shoulder as though someone might be watching and then look around at the ceiling to see if there’s a security camera. I can just picture some security guards watching me on a 6 inch black and white TV, laughing their butts off. They can't be allowed to put security cameras in fitting rooms can they? I must admit that I was a little alarmed to find myself half way into a skirt for the first time in my life (at least as far as I can remember), but after the initial shock wore off, it struck me how soft and comfortable it felt.

Then came the knock at the door. You've never seen a man get out of a skirt so quickly. Oh crap! They were watching on the security camera! They think I'm some kind of cross-dressing pervert! How will I explain all this? It's not my fault! They're the one's who put this skirt on the men's running shorts rack! Standing there in my boxer shorts I answer the knock "Hello?"
"Sorry," comes the reply. It was only an employee trying to find an empty dressing room. Whew, that was close.

I leave the skirt in the fitting room and close the door behind me, it really didn't match my running shoes anyway. My heart is racing and it feels like everyone in the store is staring at me. I just want to scream out "I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A SKIRT!"

So that was my ordeal trying to buy a new pair of running shorts. What did I get out of it? One new pair of running shorts, a new under armor shirt, a lot of anxiety, a lot of judgmental stares, and one new men's running skirt. What? IT WAS ON THE MEN'S RACK! I can only assume that I am on the leading edge of men's fashion. I'm the tip of the sword, the trend setter.

P.S. Bonus points for whoever can tell me where the post title is from or why it's relevant.

P.P.S I hope this is the only time I ever use the cross-dressing tag.

29 comments:

  1. The skirts are comfy aren't they?

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  2. Rose in the front - is from Bull Durham. When Tim Robbins is trying to wear Susan Sarandon's garter belt and can't figure out which way to put it on.

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  3. Leana says the skirts are like the best thing every for running... maybe you could pretend to be Scottish and say you are used to Kilts... or maybe you'd just start a crazy new trend. Although if my fiance comes home in a skirt, we may have to talk.

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  4. Amanda, I actually am Scottish so I wouldn't have to pretend. Never worn a kilt though.

    Rob, nice work. You are correct.

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  5. I don't think they have security cams in the dressing rooms but they totally have those dressing rooms with the interrogation room style mirrors where employees (of the same sex) patrol for shop lifters. It will usually say on a sign though. I always find those dressings rooms the BEST to do my she hulk impressions and rump shaker dances :P

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  6. God, I love that movie. Or maybe it's just Kevin Costner...

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  7. How come I haven't found your blog before???? You are a true blogging god...or based on this post...a blogging goddess.

    can't wait to read more :)

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  8. About everywhere I go and visit, someone is talking about running skirts - and now you! It's like there is a powerful force moving me to buy one. And you did say it was soft...

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  9. "watching on the security camera" and "cross dressing pervert". Looks like you'll get more visitors to your blog with that.

    I don't know why Target hasn't called me back. I applied for a job as the security guy monitoring the women's changing room.

    And this, post 101, may be a top ten'er for you.

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  10. I'm sure you looked hot in your running skirt. You should've worn it proudly.

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  11. I think you should've taken it home, tried it out. I bet you could've been at the forefront of a trend.

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  12. Ha! You are awesome! I love hearing about running related purchases since that is how I fuel the fire.

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  13. So you'll run in a skirt, but I can't get you to wear a kilt in my wedding? You're a pathetic excuse for a Scot.
    If I made the kilts pink and soft would it help?

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  14. I'm not really buying the whole ... I just grabbed a bunch of shorts and headed into the changing room tale.

    Like the 'skirt' just accidentally ended up in the mens section ... assuming the 'shorts' were mens??

    I think you have 'skort' envy!

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  15. Umm... Err... At least you admitted to it and didn't skirt the issue...

    I never try things on at the store. Just not in my nature, I guess...

    The skirt was so soft, ey?

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  16. dood...you've got to check out marks (the blogfather from crn) video of the pink skirt challenge.

    i think we need a male blogwide challenge. get all the male bloggers to pick a day and wear running skirts on their training runs. or pick a day when there's typically a national race. like at a turkey trot or 4th of july race. or new years. yeah, then we can blame it on the extra guinness.

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  17. This post completely cracked me up! You should've purchased the skirt. I'm sure your legs would have looked hot in it. (o;

    Jes

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  18. Alright already...after your review of the running skirt, I suppose I am going to have to finally breakdown and try one on :P

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  19. Lets see if the security guards will release on youtube and we can see it on Video Friday.

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  20. That's hilarious! Trust me, I would have reacted the same way. And I'm a girl!! :-)

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  21. Too darn funny...

    Is there really all that much of a difference between the infamous track uniform short shorts and "the shorts that are a little longer?"

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  22. Your post cracked me up. Thanks to Crabby for directing her readers here. Thanks to you for ensuring that I'll return.

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  23. I'm pretty sure what you stumbled upon was the often heralded and seldom praised 'Running Kilt"
    perfectly acceptable to be worn by men. Just make sure you can run fast.

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  24. do be careful and remember to wear your panties...skirts tend to "ride up" if you're not careful!

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  25. Ive been wearing skirts, sarongs and kilts for 7 years now. With comfort like that you cant put on pants or shorts and ever feel comfortable again. Maybe you should have some skirts, and make sure they atleast hit your knees.

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  26. Great entry! I was googling for images of running skorts and stumbled upon your blog entry. Very funny and, really, I think you may be on to something with the running kilt .... better patent that idea.

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  27. My legs and butt look great in the running skirts.

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  28. If you liked it, you should get one. You wouldn't be the first guy wearing a running skirt, though. I see a fair number of guys wearing them now. I am a guy and I run in a skirt sometimes.

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