My real name is Vernon Angus Neilson (V.A.N.) and I have always thought that I was a pretty illin' dude, to use the 80's street slang. Hence VAN-illa. Ok that was worse than the first one.
Here's the truth. I began using Vanilla as a username a while back on various message board forums. I picked the name to keep my true superhero identity secret. (So much for the truth.) I've always maintained that I'm a plain vanilla kind of guy, what I mean by that is that I'm pretty boring and incredibly average. 1 wife, 2 kids, 1 dog living in a moderate house in suburbia (mine is the beige one), working in an office, driving an SUV, blah blah blah. It came down to Vanilla or some variation of Average Joe and the more I thought about it the more Vanilla made sense. I really do prefer vanilla to any other flavor of ice cream, I order vanilla latte's, vanilla milkshakes, and vanilla frappuccinos. And if it makes you think that I'm like Vanilla Ice, who is quite obviously the coolest person on the face of the planet, well then that's even better for me.
Check out this video and tell me you don't wish you could be that cool. He's the epitome of cool.
Laugh all you want but you know you wanted to get up and dance to that.
If you were so inclined you could find my real name quite easily from the information that has been given in various posts over the past 4 months, but then I'd have to get a restraining order against you. Besides, you'd just be disappointed because I'm much more interesting and there's a lot more mystery and intrigue if you continue to know me only as Vanilla.
So what is my real name? I'll give you a clue; You can spell it using the letters in VANILLA, not all of them, and not my last name just my first name. Your guesses* in the comments, plus whatever else tickles your fancy. I may even tell you if someone gets it right. Word to your mother.
*Guessing competition not open to family members. Must be a US resident at least 18 years of age or older, other restrictions apply.
I know your real name only because you mailed me that link to a porn site. TOTALLY KIDDING. Actually I think it might have been the other way around :P I do know but I won't ruin it for all the rest of the homies :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the story of Vanilla :-) When I first saw it, I instantly thought of Vanilla Ice and then wondered if you named yourself after him in fun. It's cool though. Loved him in the Surreal Life LMAO!
All right stop collaborate and listen!
ReplyDeleteI totally know what your real name is ... is it ... is it
ALI?
my second choice is Villan.
I know it's Alvin.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure if you named your blog "Alvin" we would all think of you in a Chipmunks way, which would lead some of us to think of the other Chipmunks...Chip and Dale...and well, then you would take on this whole other 90's persona that is not Vanilla Ice.
Do I win anything?
Alvin?
ReplyDeleteAlan?
Livan?
Mmmm...should I ruin this for everyone? Ok.
ReplyDeleteIt's Ian.
And if you want to get technical about it, I think it's Ian Hunter.
ReplyDeleteTHE Ian Hunter?
ReplyDeleteOf Mott the Hoople?
Great, one more thing I can't do JUST because I'm related to you.
ReplyDeleteI really think you've ruined my life oh perfect brother of mine.
P.S. that's exactly how he dances and dresses... I'll upload wedding video in a couple of weeks for proof. The hair, the clothes, he even still peg legs his pants.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, Vanilla Ice on the Surreal Life was the best! I will forever see you dancing down the streets of Denver now in your baggy pants.
ReplyDeleteTook me a few minutes to do the stalking. I was not first though...thanks for the challenge Mr. Hunter.
ReplyDelete@elvisbum: I'm not that old.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'd like to state for the record that I do NOT still peg leg my pants. That's so 1996... or it was for me.
Next challenge: Who can find my other blog?
Dude - I'm so ruined. I totally thought you were Vanilla Ice. At least do you have cool hair? :)
ReplyDeleteYo, VIP, let's kick it.
I'm so smart. I went to the Bolder Boulder results for 56 minutes. And I found your name. You are Annamarie Marino from Aurora, Il. and you are 11 years old. The vanilla disguise is very good.
ReplyDeletePat, that comment had me rolling with laughter, until it occurred to me that it probably means that little Annamarie actually tied me in the Bolder Boulder.
ReplyDeleteI like the mystery so I would never seek out your real info...unless I alread did it. Huh. Guess you'll never know :)
ReplyDeleteahhh.. ice ice baby.. I sing that to my wife after each of my lonnnng runs, no dancing though.
ReplyDeleteI thought your name was Amy.
ReplyDeleteOops. I just read the fine print. I'm not eligible to guess...What if my heart's still in San Francisco? And um, I realize that since you don't know me, you probably won't know my comment was a joke, referring to earlier posts...
ReplyDeleteFound ya
ReplyDeletehttp://govanillago.blogspot.com/
J~mom - Very strange. That blog was started this morning roughly 3 to 4 minutes before you left your comment here. Just about enough time to log out as VanillaRocks and to log back in as J~mom
ReplyDeletenora - I knew what you were referring to, and I do know you. Or, I know that you like crunchy 'nanas and have an awesome banana guard. ;)
ReplyDeleteSo, which one is really your name? I missed it, I guess. I do LOVE Vanilla Ice. Yummmmm...
ReplyDeleteMelinda - one of the Amy's had it right when she got technical about it. So congrats to Amy Lawson I guess.
ReplyDeleteSuspicious at best. ;>)
ReplyDeleteI am not good at riddles. Or I don't care enough to figure it out. I'll just keep reading your blog, you will eventually give it up.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I have to give Vanilla Ice credit. Some people mat think that he was a joke but, really he did something that many white boys were not even capable of. He paved a path for the other few white boys that rap. I am not sure that is really a good think but, a ground breaking thing none the less.